Grief sucks

Dianakop72
Dianakop72 Posts: 21 Member
in Motivation and Support
As of Oct 1st last year I was down 130 lbs. I had less than 10 to goal. I was in such an awesome place. Then we bought a house a few miles down the road. our first home. I remember calling my mom the day we got the keys, octover 6th. We moved in the following week slowly ourselves since it was just a few miles down the road. On wednesday we were done we had it all in the new house and I got the call my mom was terminal. the lung cancer she was in remission from had snuck past all the scans and she had a fast growing brain tumor. The docs said with treatement maybe a year, with out , 2 months. I told my dad I needed 1 week to unpack and get my guys set up for my absence. I left the next Monday and drove from NC to Mass, I got there that night about 8 and went straight to the hospital and she passed the next morning with all of us there. the 2 months the docs said we had was only 12 days :( I spent the next 6 weeks at my parents house helping my dad go through everything so he could sell our childhood home. I didn't care about the scale much. I did bring it with me to keep track, but I ate mostly what I wanted and it was ok. All my childhood favorties and they were yummy. I came home after thanksgiving to a new house and a new routine and christmas fast approaching. By january I was up almost 30lbs and getting way to close to 200 again and I knew if I hit that i would be back at 300 in no time. I have slowly gotten back on track and have 26lbs to get back to where I was. but the scale is not cooperating. I have been working out 3-5 days a week and totally on point with my eating and the last 3 weeks the scale has stayed the same. I don't even care at this point if I ever get to my "goal" but I have to at least get back to where I was. I loved me at 166. I don't love me at 192. I feel chubby and my clothes still all fit but not as baggy as before and I just want the scale to move. even a lb a week would be nice , but I hate that it has stayed the same. Sorry for the long post, i just needed a place to vent some frustration.

Replies

  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    Condolences on your loss. That would be hard for anybody. Do your best to take care of you.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,961 Member
    Maybe see a therapist to just "talk". Sometimes pent up feelings plays havoc with your hormones and being able to help let things go may be what you need.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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  • need2move2
    need2move2 Posts: 130 Member
    I lost my Dad last September to cancer. It sucks!
    I am sorry for your loss.

    Do not worry about a number on a scale. Take care of your self!
    You can do this.. you have done it before.. you can do it again!

    We all deal with death differently.. the good thing is .. your dealing with it.
    I miss my Dad daily.. I know your pain. I told my husband.. when my Dad died.. he took my smile with him.. not true it is gradually coming back.

    Good luck on your health journey!
    You can do this!!
    :smile:
  • kelMee2
    kelMee2 Posts: 203 Member
    Big hugs, I lost my mum suddenly last year, she was only 55 and one minute she was here the next she was gone and it all still feels surreal. Before she died I was doing well and had lost 14lbs but I put that back on plus another 3lbs. I’m an emotional eater, when I’m down or stressed I reach for food but over the last 6 weeks I feel I’ve broken that habit because no matter what happens I don’t want to go over calories so I’ve stopped binging to comfort myself. Take one day at a time, don’t push yourself too hard cause sometimes that can backfire, sending love to you and your family at such a difficult time.
  • Amy_Jo54915
    Amy_Jo54915 Posts: 15 Member
    I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer two years ago. She was my biggest cheerleader. I was heavy before, but I put on around 50# since she died.
    My heart goes out to you. Take care of yourself. Grief is a process, and going through it sucks. I still miss my mom every day, but it does get easier. Hugs
  • mebelfanti
    mebelfanti Posts: 326 Member
    So sorry for your loss. I went through something very similar two years ago. Grief definitely sucks and never really goes away, but you will get through the pain and hurt. It took me about a year after my mom died before I got serious about losing weight and once I started exercising and taking care of myself I found that I felt a lot better, or at least less depressed. I definitely recommend talking to a counselor or going to a grief support group.

    Just stay consistent with exercise and your diet, you will see results eventually!
  • sue_01
    sue_01 Posts: 3,029 Member
    Three weeks ago on Monday I went to the hospital and on Thursday I had brain surgery (meningioma) I feel fantastic every day, except the steroids I could eat and eat., no sleep lucky to get three hours in. It is funny my sense of taste, and smell. The incision was 4 cm. and it is under my hair you can only see one inch. The doctors did an amazing job. I'm so lucky. I kept getting bad headaches since Christmas, but I was at the doctors and I thought it was my sinus. Going to get back to healthy me!
  • kathleenneriducharme
    kathleenneriducharme Posts: 46 Member
    I lost both my parents last year and gained about 12 pounds from emotional eating. I am just now starting to get myself on the right road again. I had to get my head right first and just get back into some kind of fitness frame of mind. Don't worry about the scale right now. Get back into your routine and stick to it. I'm very sorry for your loss.

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