Who will re-apply?

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chilli
chilli Posts: 211 Member
PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, would you have ever taken the job?

POSITION:
Mom, Mum, Mommy, Mummy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION:

* Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
* Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills, and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
* Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
* Travel expenses not reimbursed.
* Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

* The rest of your life.
* Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
* Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
* Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
* Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
* Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
* Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
* Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
* Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
* Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
* Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
* Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

* None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

* None required unfortunately.
* On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

* Get this! You pay them!
* Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
* A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
* When you die, you give them whatever is left.
* The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

* While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

Replies

  • chilli
    chilli Posts: 211 Member
    Options
    PARENT - Job Description

    This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, would you have ever taken the job?

    POSITION:
    Mom, Mum, Mommy, Mummy, Mama, Ma
    Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

    JOB DESCRIPTION:

    * Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
    * Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills, and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
    * Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
    * Travel expenses not reimbursed.
    * Extensive courier duties also required.

    RESPONSIBILITIES:

    * The rest of your life.
    * Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
    * Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
    * Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
    * Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
    * Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
    * Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
    * Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
    * Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
    * Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
    * Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
    * Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

    POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:

    * None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

    PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

    * None required unfortunately.
    * On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

    WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

    * Get this! You pay them!
    * Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
    * A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
    * When you die, you give them whatever is left.
    * The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

    BENEFITS :

    * While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
  • kjllose
    kjllose Posts: 948 Member
    Options
    In a heartbeat! Where do I sign up?

    Shoes $100.... Orthodondist $ 1000.00.......Memories.....Priceless!
  • ChubbyBunny
    ChubbyBunny Posts: 3,523 Member
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    Oh I am sooo using this in my child development class.
    :laugh:
  • alifelessevident
    Options
    worth it completely
  • MOMOFTWO29
    MOMOFTWO29 Posts: 8,276 Member
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    in a minute, I love my job as a mother, wife and stay at home mom.
  • marisol7649
    marisol7649 Posts: 484 Member
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    I love being a mommy even to a teenager right now.!!
  • cecilsmom
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    I wouldn't give this up for the world. This little guy is great. Would I do this again na I got my one and only. I died havin him doc said a second time they most likely wouldn't be able to bring me back. But If I had a chance to go back in time I'd have this guy again he's my sweet snuggle bear.
  • JenniferMann24
    Options
    Its the best and worst job ill ever have. With BEST being the key word!:smile:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
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    I'm glad it wasn't presented that way before I knew what the job actually was. :laugh: :laugh: I'd do it again in a heartbeat if I could.
  • Mireille
    Mireille Posts: 5,134 Member
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    I'll be honest, it's not what I signed up for. :wink:



    I love you my baby girls!! :heart: :heart:
  • janiebeth
    janiebeth Posts: 2,509 Member
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    I'll be honest, it's not what I signed up for. :wink:



    I love you my baby girls!! :heart: :heart:

    Me neither - in fact I don't recall signing up at all...

    However, I now that I am here, I wouldn't trade it for the world.. :heart: :heart: :heart: