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Jamiebaby05
Jamiebaby05 Posts: 47 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Okay so my husband is soooo very picky when it comes to food.....his diet consists mainly of butter, salt and oil and a slab of meat........and i am just not okay with it anymore. Everytime i try and make something less fattening he automatically can tell and i get to hear about it.....I love the man to death but im sooo tired of making two seperate meals all the time. Am i being too picky? I don't want to change him but im am concerned for his health and i know he would feel soooo much better if he didn't eat such fatty foods. Any advice?
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  • momof3and3
    momof3and3 Posts: 656 Member
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    Make what you want for dinner, tell him "this is dinner, take it or leave it"
  • eharring
    eharring Posts: 12 Member
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    agreed.
  • hm_day
    hm_day Posts: 857 Member
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    I'd say the "take it or leave it," or tell him to make his own dinner :)
  • bklyngirl71
    bklyngirl71 Posts: 381 Member
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    I .agree with the above poster. Tell him that u want him to be healthy
  • Margaret0626
    Margaret0626 Posts: 11
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    My husband likes really flavorful foods too so I totally understand. We eat a lot of food out of the Bill Phillips Body For Life cookbook. Most are pretty low cal, lots of protein and they are yummy. Our favorite dinners are the French Dip, Mama's Chicken Enchillada's and the Chili receipe! So good!
  • welloiledmachine
    welloiledmachine Posts: 1,147 Member
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    You definitely need to set some ground rules. You aren't his mother and you aren't a short order cook. If he wants to eat the bad food, then let him fix it.
    If you love him that much and he loves you then you guys can work it out. This is important to you and he should respect that. Best of luck.
  • AdAstra47
    AdAstra47 Posts: 823 Member
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    I recommend that you both watch the documentary "Fat Head." It's available instantly on Netflix or Hulu. If you can find it, the Canadian documentary "My Big Fat Diet" is also really interesting. The point of both shows is that fat is not the enemy. There is no scientific evidence that reducing the fat in your diet makes it more healthy. Everyone's metabolism is different. Maybe your husband is eating in the correct way for his metabolism. I eat a lot of fat, but for me, the key to staying healthy and losing weight is getting plenty of protein and limiting my carbs.

    Also, if he doesn't like what you cook, then maybe he should do some of the cooking. My parents' rule for a happy marriage was always: whoever does the cooking is praised and appreciated, no matter what. My mom could bake a rock-hard cake, or dad could burn the steaks to a crisp, but the other person always said "It's just the way I like it." If it was made by the person I love, and I didn't have to make it myself, then it's just the way I like it. :-)
  • jallen67
    jallen67 Posts: 19
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    have him make his own dinner (:
  • NatStylz
    NatStylz Posts: 38
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    I get this with my mum and sister all the time. I have educated them about the effect of certain fattening ingredients, but they won't have any of it and I will end up making my own separate meals. They always comment on how good and colourful my food looks but they won't make changes themselves. I care about their health as well as mine but they won't have any of it.
  • Sugarchef
    Sugarchef Posts: 319 Member
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    Also, if he doesn't like what you cook, then maybe he should do some of the cooking. My parents' rule for a happy marriage was always: whoever does the cooking is praised and appreciated, no matter what. My mom could bake a rock-hard cake, or dad could burn the steaks to a crisp, but the other person always said "It's just the way I like it." If it was made by the person I love, and I didn't have to make it myself, then it's just the way I like it. :-)
    [/quote]

    ***LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE***
  • LMStark
    LMStark Posts: 150
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    I usually will make something that is middle ground and then have different sides. Good luck! :-)
  • soontobeskinnysara
    soontobeskinnysara Posts: 177 Member
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    when I was younger, if I didn't like what my mom would make for dinner, she'd point and say "there's the kitchen."
  • Homer3D
    Homer3D Posts: 318
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    .....his diet consists mainly of butter, salt and oil and a slab of meat........


    You shouldn't have to worry about this for too long. He should be having a heart attack soon.

    All joking aside, does he know what that type of diet will do to his heart?
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
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    i totally know where you are at. my partner was a real "foodie" everything had to be gourmet and beautiful, and he didn't want to eat anything that was just simple and healthy if it was dull or tasteless (ie everything needed alot of oil and salt).

    he used to only like to eat fresh bread, so would go to the bakery every single day and buy a loaf of white bread. therefore, i hated waste, so, me and the kids would eat the left overs rather than buying wholemeal and all that white bread going to waste. Now my kids won't eat wholemeal bread anymore.

    nothing i could do or say would change him until he decided he was too fat and needed to lose weight.

    when he got on the bandwagon, he started eating lean cuisines (he worked nights so would take them to work instead) and they were dull in taste, but it worked, and he ended up losing a stack of weight. and it changed his habits. but until they are on board, they just won't change (like anyone, if they aren't into it, they just aren't into it).

    i used to eat quite dull before i met him, during the weeks, i'd eat brown rice and vegie heavy stir fries with not alot of flavour, and only when i went out i'd eat something rich and beautiful. but then he came into the picture with his gourmet cooking, and i got used to eating beautiful delicious rich food, obviously not so good for the waistline.

    somehow you have to get into the mentality that you don't eat for pleasure every day, you eat to fuel your body most of the time, and occasionally you can indulge yourself.
  • kandrews24
    kandrews24 Posts: 610 Member
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    If your agreement is that he works, you stay at home (including cooking meals) then you have to make two dinners (assuming you can't talk him into a healthier lifestyle and you no longer want to eat what he eats).

    If your agreement is that you both work, but then you cook dinner and he takes out the garbage. You might want to renegotiate that and each make your own dinner and switch off taking out the garbage!

    Otherwise, I'm not sure why it is your job to cook two meals each night or why in all fairness, you should eat what he likes, but he won't eat what you like. There is something not right about that.

    Of course there are certain compromises and short cuts to making some foods work for both of you (like making baked potatoes and each adds their own condiments) or making the side dishes to share and main dishes separate.

    You can always cook him something special periodically or on special occasions. Good luck!
  • 1goodymom67
    1goodymom67 Posts: 125
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    Love comments," This is dinner, take it or leave it!" I had to do that with my kids. NO PB&J instead of dinner. I do add alot more veggies and spices that if my kids knew they would stick their nose up and not want to eat. Adding different spices helps. Unfortualtely, his taste buds are used to one particular food(s)(in his defense). Also, I buy the food so take it or leave it baby!
  • Jamiebaby05
    Jamiebaby05 Posts: 47 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your comments.....i hope to sit down and talk with him this evening about some comprimises....
  • taem
    taem Posts: 495 Member
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    I think a heart-to-heart talk with him is required. He should be sensitive to your needs but don't leave him hanging, try understanding why he is so in love with his foods and offer alternatives so the words don't sound so cold is my advice.

    Make the transition slow by on a schedule so both are satisfied and everyone is happy.

    Most of all, you have to prove to him why eating less meat and fat is good (or why the foods he eats are no longer acceptable to you which is really difficult to do in my opinion, until he gets his first bypass, then things will get easier).

    Refined carbs and refined sugars are key factors in becoming overweight and becoming sick. I would get the evidence against those two types of food and insist that he stop eating those two forbidden types of foods, the rest you can negotiate with.

    The other thing is with a low carb diet is that people have to be inducted into a ketogenic state in order to burn fat and protein, I would find out if that is acceptable to him (which it sounds like it is since he eats those types of foods) and his body.

    Good health to you and him.
  • lookpretty
    lookpretty Posts: 276 Member
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    I recommend that you both watch the documentary "Fat Head." It's available instantly on Netflix or Hulu. If you can find it, the Canadian documentary "My Big Fat Diet" is also really interesting. The point of both shows is that fat is not the enemy. There is no scientific evidence that reducing the fat in your diet makes it more healthy. Everyone's metabolism is different. Maybe your husband is eating in the correct way for his metabolism. I eat a lot of fat, but for me, the key to staying healthy and losing weight is getting plenty of protein and limiting my carbs.

    Also, if he doesn't like what you cook, then maybe he should do some of the cooking. My parents' rule for a happy marriage was always: whoever does the cooking is praised and appreciated, no matter what. My mom could bake a rock-hard cake, or dad could burn the steaks to a crisp, but the other person always said "It's just the way I like it." If it was made by the person I love, and I didn't have to make it myself, then it's just the way I like it. :-)

    I have watched this documentary fat head and while it definatly made some valid points alternatively if you realise that butter is solid at human body temperature one should realise it can be solid in your blood vessels and a dangerous unnatural food....

    also in respnonse to feeding the husband what specific foods does he like so well and what have you tried that hes shot down? as to the take or leave it approach, you know, he might leave it..... in a marriage there has to be negotiation, there has to be some level of contentmant by all parties, keep trying new techniques and alterations until he finds stuff he likes, there are plenty of healthy alternative recipes I hate and would never eat, I dont ever eat rabbit food, I hate it, however there are thigns I like, help him find healthy foods he LIKES, I wish you all the luck in the world getting a man to eat something he doesnt like no matter how healthy, it wont happen for long
  • Jamiebaby05
    Jamiebaby05 Posts: 47 Member
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    Yes he is very attached to his foods.....he works hard and wants a good hearty meal when he gets home. I understand this and i do realize that there has to be give and take on both sides when it comes to marriage. I would never forbid him from anything, all i want is to introduce more healthy choices into our lives. I just want him to try new things.....but maybe i should just keep doing what im doing and when my super hot body takes shape, he will be more apt to try new things.....

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