Frustrated, Depressed, Confused

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teemix1
teemix1 Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just dont get it. I am following my diet to the letter, I am eating between 1100-1200 calories most days, drinking 12-16 glasses of water a day, trying to get in some exercise (having a hard time due to just feeling so tired all the time, had every test in the book no illnesses, low B and D and possible need hormone replacement, checking into that right now) and yet I cant seem to lose very much. I weigh every morning and every night and about 4 months ago I used to gain about 2.2-2.6 pounds every day and I would lose about 2.4-2.8 pounds every night so I would lose about .2 pounds a day which was ok as it was at least a pound a week, but lately I am gaining about 3.4-3.6 pounds a day and only losing about 3.2 pounds a night so I seem to be gaining about .2 pounds a day. Just in the past 9 days I have lost nothing and based on calories in vs calories out I should have lose at least 1.5 to 2 pounds. What is going on. In the past 4 weeks I have only lost 2 pounds and per calories in vs calories out I should have lost 6 pounds. I am getting so frustrated and depressed. My first month or really watching what I ate and drinking a ton of water I lost 9.5 pounds and now zilch, I am really down and wondering if its really worth the trouble. I have been overweight since I was around 10-12 once I hit puberty I started to gain, though I have never been a thin person. I managed to lose 112 pounds about 5 years ago from 270 to 158 only to gain back 80 pounds of it over the last 2 years because I am an *kitten* and let myself go back to my old ways. That 158 was the first time in my life I was a normal BMI and I was so close to my goal only to fail. But that is the story of my life....failure, failure in school, life and everything. If I dont start to lose faster soon and more based on my calorie intake I most likely will give up and just consider this another failure. I had such high hopes after the first month of the 9 pound loss, I didnt expect another 9 pounds but I did expect more than 2 pounds, at 2 a month it will take me forever to get where I need to be and if I dont see results I will give up, and I am not seeing it in my clothes either, so its not inch loss either. Dont know what to do as I have tried everything. thinking about eating less as I am not really hungry, I force myself to eat enough to get to 1100-1200 per day, I could really get by on 800-900 based on what my body says it wants. may have to try that for awhile. Gotta try something before I give up

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    edited April 2018
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    why are you eating so little? do you weigh your food with scales?

    why are you weighing yourself at night?

    you lost 9lbs the first month, if it has only been 9 days since you last lost weight you might just be being impatient.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    9 pounds in a month is really good and.far more than a pound a week!

    It sounds like you may not be a a good candidate for daily weighing.

    This is a long term process. With your vitamin deficiencies and hormonal issues, you need to get proper nutrition, get onboard with the process, and have lots of patience.

    If you will give up now because you don't see daily results, how will you stick with maintenance?!
  • staci2476
    staci2476 Posts: 42 Member
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    First- stop saying failure! Everyday is a life lesson. If things don't work one way, you just need to learn how to do them a different way. Take a look at what you are eating. Drink more water. Add protein. Get moving. (I turn the radio up when I clean. I'm a rockstar ;) ) You'll find what works. BTW- HRT is my life saver! You can friend me or message me anytime. :*
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,477 Member
    edited April 2018
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    Don’t let your own brain work you over like this.

    Failure to recognize weight loss success is probably the fastest road to quit. If I read your post right, you’re down 11 lbs in about 2 months.
    It’s working. But your own brain wants to record failure. 9 days? Even if we call that a misstep, there’s a difference between a misstep and falling on your face. Fight back.

    That said, I would suggest a couple of changes. Stay off the scale as much as you can. Weighing twice per day is not helpful. 1X per week is enough. Every morning if you must. But what happens morning to night isn’t really useful information.

    Embrace the process. Focus on how well you keep your food diary. Consider how effective your plans are for various situations and how to make them better. If your plan doesn’t work, make a better one.

    Rereading your post, if you have no appetite, and are tired all the time, have you been evaluated for depression? Something you may want to consider.
  • kbeda
    kbeda Posts: 7 Member
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    Seems your eating to little. Also, weighing 2x a day doesn’t appear to be benefiting you. 1x a week is plenty. It’s marathon not a sprint. It’s a a life style not diet. You can do this! You ARE doing this!!
  • amyteacake
    amyteacake Posts: 768 Member
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    1,200 calories is the lowest amount of calories a grown woman should eat, going below that isn't a good idea. And weighing yourself twice a day seems to be doing more harm than good. Everyone's weight fluctuates throughout the day. You'll weight completely different in the morning than you would in the afternoon or before you went to bed. Once a week is better as then you can see the progress easier.

    You shouldn't rush yourself or punish yourself for not losing weight. There will be some days where you might not lose any weight, but you're trying which is what matters. 9lbs a month is great, but as you lose weight the slower it will come off. There's nothing wrong with losing weight slowly, you're trying your best so don't punish yourself. And stop saying failure or calling yourself a failure! I know the mind is the hardest thing to battle, but you're trying to better yourself and trying to lose weight/eat well and that's better than doing nothing
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    r5a1yvu7vd8r.jpg
  • KARJNKK18
    KARJNKK18 Posts: 44 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    r5a1yvu7vd8r.jpg

    Hii this is soo helpful. Is there any way you could send me a copy of this please. Thank you
  • corinasue1143
    corinasue1143 Posts: 7,467 Member
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    I am not sure I understand completely what you said. Did you lose 9 pounds the first month and 2 pounds the second month? It is common to lose a lot of water weight when you first start, then your body realizes that you're just eating differently, so it starts to stabilize, meaning you gain back the water as you continue to lose weight, so it appears you are losing much more slowly, or sometimes even gaining. I would suggest you quit weighing so often and use a weight averaging app. I use weightgrapher. It's very good and free, but I understand there are other good ones.
    If you weigh about 220-230, you're not eating enough to fuel your body. Did you put your stats in MFP and try to eat what it suggests? As for exercise, are you doing something you like? Remember gardening, dancing, playing with the grandkids, taking the dog for a walk are all good exercise. What sounds like fun?
  • teemix1
    teemix1 Posts: 18 Member
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    Thanks everyone for the response, here are a few more points that you have asked about that may help you understand my frustration and depression.
    First yes I am clinically depressed, been on and off meds for over 30 years, been depressed since I was a preteen and I am now 59 years old. I have been fighting weight since I hit puberty at age 9.
    MFP said I should eat 1300 calories to reach my goal of 140 based on my height of 5'7" and 238 at the time I started back in late Dec 2017 (some time around the 27th or 28th)
    My Dr this past Feb said I should eat around 1200 calories and that I could go as low as 1000 for a couple months to kick start my weight loss if I wanted to but to only do that for a couple months but I decided not to do that. I try to eat the 1200 but most days I cant quite get there.
    I cant get any more water intake as I already feel waterlogged as I drink 140-200 oz of water a day and about 20 oz of unsweetened tea and by the time I am done with that I and go to bed I have to sleep with multi pillows sometimes as the water tries to come back up, I do have a history of reflux but until I started drinking so much water it was not bothering me.
    I am scared that if I dont weight often enough I will start gaining back what I have managed to lose, as that is what happened to me the last time when I did manage to lose the 112 pounds only to gain back about 80 pounds of it
    I do keep up on my daily food diary, I have a postal scale that I use that weight to the gram so I weight everything I put in my mouth unless it is prepackaged. I am very accurate with it and I will take out one piece of cereal if needed to get to a serving if needed, I will also go under a serving instead of over. For example if I am eating carrots and I eat 3 ounces and I weight out 3.2 ounces I will take out one and I may come up with 2.8 and put in my log that I still ate 3 ounces so I will under eat the calories instead of overeat. so I know I am not under logging my calories.
    I have been on this weight loss for 4 months the first month I loss 7 pounds, second month 6.5, 3 month 9.5 then this month (which is almost over) 2 pounds so that is why I am so upset, I really dont expect to lose 6-10 pounds a month but based on calories in vs out I should lose at least 5-7 pounds a month and to only lose 2 is just frustrating.
    like this morning I gained .6 pounds from yesterday morning and I only ate 1120 calories and worked out at the barn for over 2 hours, cleaning stalls and walking horses. (I didnt weight last night) so how did I gain?????
    I gained less eating what I enjoyed that I do now so I feel like why not just go back to eating what I love. The only thing stopping me is the horses, I feel so cruel when I get on one making them carry around a fat *kitten* like me. That is the only thing that makes me keep trying.
    thanks to you all for trying to help me, I know I am a pain in the butt but after 50 years of always being the fattest one in the room and the one that always was left out of riding and other things because of my weight I am just tired of it and after I lost the 112 pounds I thought I would never have to go through this again, I thought I had learned my lesson, guess not.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    You've lost 28lbs in 4 months... sounds like you're doing great.
  • aliblain
    aliblain Posts: 175 Member
    edited April 2018
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    I’m losing at a similar rate- around 2 pounds a month despite eating 1200 calories. It’s difficult not to get frustrated but the most important thing is that the weight is heading downwards. At least we don’t have to worry that we are losing lots of muscle as the weight is coming off slowly. I found tracking my weight on happy scale works well as it gives an overall trend and smooths out all the daily variation. I would personally drop to weighing once a day.
  • lorettadawkins2329
    lorettadawkins2329 Posts: 3 Member
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    Well hello my friend I am a newcomer October 17th I weigh 260 pounds April 4th 208 I weigh 220 pounds how I got it off I walked walk walk walk walk until you sweat that's how I did it

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