Dating?

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runner328
runner328 Posts: 174
in Motivation and Support
When is it appropriate to start dating after separating? The divorce papers are filled but is going to be a while before anything is settled. There are no small children just my stepdaughter who is 17. I am not looking for any thing serious but I am also not wanting just casual sex. Please advise!!

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  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    I seperated from my ex in August of last year and started dating in October...I was officially divorced in February of this year. The courts took a long time and if I had waited I never would have gotten my self esteem back. My ex and I had a very bad marriage and I got out of it for my sake and my daughter...she deserved a better life.
    I say whenever you feel comfortable is when you should start. I was with my ex for nearly 11 years in total (almost 7 married)...yet I got right back out there once I was feeling okay about doing so.
  • JNick77
    JNick77 Posts: 3,783 Member
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    When is it appropriate to start dating after separating? The divorce papers are filled but is going to be a while before anything is settled. There are no small children just my stepdaughter who is 17. I am not looking for any thing serious but I am also not wanting just casual sex. Please advise!!

    When you feel ready for it, don't avoid a potential good thing because any hard fast rule. If you're ready for it just do it, if not be friends. :)
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,071 Member
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    It's tough to say--and an extraordinarily personal choice. My experience will vary ridiculously from yours and from anyone who responds.
  • runner328
    runner328 Posts: 174
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    Thanks. I guess I just needed some reinsurance that it would be ok for me to move on,
  • JJasMyself
    JJasMyself Posts: 79 Member
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    It depends on which angle you are looking at. If you are absolutely sure there's no chance at all you will not end up getting back together then I don't think it really matters when you date. I started dating about a month after my ex and I separated because there was no way on this green earth or any other for that matter that I was going back. I've been happily divorced for over a year now. However, if you are looking at it from a religious point of view it's another story (I'm not religious was just throwing that out there). I say date when and if you feel the time is right.
  • momtozmc
    momtozmc Posts: 418 Member
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    Yes, like everyone said, it's up to you! And what your comfortable with. I divorced 6 years ago... we separated in August 2004, divorce final in March 2005... we never ever did the whole every other weekend thing... so it was just me with 3 kids- all pretty young... so when my second went off to college... in the fall of....yes... 2010~ I started dating... I had a ton more time on my hands, I was ready, my family was ready... it just all worked out. I'm probably the extreme case... my point... it wouldn't have been and it wasn't possible any earlier!!!! I was comfortable with my kids being older and less dependant on me.

    Enjoy though! I am!!!

    L
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
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    the next day... lol I'm messing around.. it took 2 months for me.

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