Feeling Down and very Self-Conscious!

jasmineemmaeats · April 2018

Woke up this morning feeling so positive - have lost 5ibs since I started this lifestyle two weeks ago - but now I'm just feeling rubbish.

I weighed myself two weeks ago for the first time in years and was pretty shocked by the number on the scales. I think I've always thought of myself as naturally curvier than lots of my friends and have hidden my weight gain under different styles of clothes etc. Anyway, the scales don't lie and needless to say I'm well in the overweight bracket when I check my BMI, despite what I've been able to tell myself when looking in the mirror.

Today I spoke to my mum on the phone and told her about trying to lose weight and she was really supportive and fantastic, but it just made me feel really sad! In the past, when I've wanted to lose weight my parents have always told me I'm being a bit silly and Mum's said things like 'life's too short', so I guess hearing her support made it really hit home how much I've gained. I now feel like I obviously do look pretty fat because she agrees with me that I need the weight loss.

Anyway, I know I'm being silly because I already wanted to lose the weight and this doesn't change anything, but have any of you had similar experiences? I think I've always assumed other people don't see me as overweight. Has anyone else felt disheartened because of somebody else supporting their lifestyle change?

2aycocks · May 2018

Of course! It's called DENIAL. We pretend nobody notices that we are over weight and it's easy to ignore it that way. But that doesn't help us to get moving and get heathy. It's great that you have such a supportive Mom. She will be a great asset on this journey. And just think how great you will feel as you start to lose weight, people notice, and the compliments come rolling in!!

seltzermint555 · May 2018

I definitely get it, yes. I was VERY obese for a long time so it's a little (or a lot) different probably, but one of my main coping mechanisms was to downplay my weight. I NEVER said things like "ugh I'm so fat" or even complained that I had to buy plus sizes when I was a teen and twentysomething...I just accepted it and/or hid it when I could and the whole "fake it til you make it" honestly worked pretty well for me as I was fairly confident even while obese. I clung to people telling me how I was naturally bigger/curvier or "carried the weight well" and honestly I still do believe some of that was said honestly - even now, after losing 130 lb that I needed to lose. Denial? YES I'm sure...but there's a lot that goes into all of that.

Anyway with that said, when I started losing weight it was a slow process...but when it accelerated and I was down about 50 lb, people really started to comment and say things like "GREAT job" like they were so proud and it hit home that they really, really thought I needed to lose the weight and a few were even like, worried about my health. That crushed my ego in the moment and wasn't easy to handle.

The important thing is feeling good and doing good for yourself. It's good to get encouragement from outside sources like family & friends. However I do think "mileage will vary" on this stuff. I know people who like to share their progress very frequently with their family/friends. I have always been the opposite, and prefer to be more private about it. Obviously there comes a time when you're in smaller clothes and clearly have lost weight and they are going to comment and compliment you and such. But I do think for some people it can be better to keep it less public and not invite too many comments and unwanted advice.

lorrpb · May 2018

It's great she's supporting you rather than telling you that you shouldn't.

jasmineemmaeats · May 2018

Thank you! This made me feel a lot better. Absolutely know that this is what I should be doing and that it’s good for people to be supportive, but still found it a bit difficult to hear! Thanks everyone

mulecanter · May 2018

The USA and the UK have made obesity a team sport, welcome! You have a lot of folks in the boat with you. You will feel a lot better when you get your plan in place and then lose that first 5 pounds. It seems insurmountable but it's not. Don't look at the horizon, look a step or two in front of you. Keep your wits about you, don't freak out when the scale goes up--it goes up and down like the stock market but it will trend down over time. I think your family loves you and will support you--period. Insulate your ego from all that "help"--focus on your goals and get moving. Life is better in smaller sized jeans.

Feeling Down and very Self-Conscious!

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