Feeling bad at the gym tonight

livingfitwithlori · August 2011

So have you ever wanted to tell someone at they gym they are wasting time?

I was next to a lady on the treadmill tonight who was probably about the same weight I was when I started my journey. (About 200) She was meandering along at a 2.5 speed. Which would be great if she was injured and getting back in the game, or at a weight that any activity would be a step in the right direction and deserve great praise. However there was no increased heart rate, no red face, no heavy breathing, no sweat.

This went on for about 15 minutes. So she got pissed when I increased my speed...apparently my water was hitting the cup holder when I was running faster and was making too much noise for her, so she stopped and got off the treadmill. I seriously think she left the gym. She had logged like 18 minutes total.

It just does not make sense to me to "work out" without working out. I wanted to tell her my story. I wanted to talk about the c25k program. I wanted to tell her she needs to give some effort if she wants a healthy lifestyle.

So am I being harsh? I feel judgemental, but also frustrated..I know what can be accomplished with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

killagb · August 2011

I think you're being a lil bit harsh. She at least got off her butt and went and tried and it IS better to walk even at 2.5mph than it is to sit around doing jack squat. Granted she could be trying harder but give her credit for at least trying.

Avalonis · August 2011

So am I being harsh? I feel judgemental, but also frustrated..I know what can be accomplished with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

Nope, not being harsh at all.

I used to offer advice to people that were doing bad technique in the gym and running the risk of hurting themselves.

For example, there was a woman doing 125lb deadlifts that was rolling them up with her back. TOTALLY rounded back. I mentioned something to her casually, and she got pissed off and snapped at me. I wasn't mean to her, I wasn't rude or condescending, I was polite and offered helpful advice.

So now, I don't offer advice. *kitten* em, they wanna be all pissy, they can go ahead and hurt themselves.

/end rant

CeejayGee · August 2011

So am I being harsh? I feel judgemental, but also frustrated..I know what can be accomplished with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

Yes, you're being harsh. First, why are you even paying attention to her? I have to say, I always avoided the gym for years b/c of exactly what has happened here. Fear that some thinner person would be monitoring me and then talking about me behind my back, judging, posting about it on facebook, etc. And everyone always told me "Oh, people at the gym will be happy that you're just doing what you can. Just welcome you to the fitness world. No one will even notice you because they're doing their own thing." Well, this is proof that my hunches were at least somewhat right.

Maybe she was doing all she could do. I'm sure it took courage and dedication to go to the gym. Maybe this is her first week. Maybe she hasn't been off the couch in years. Maybe JUST being there WAS her being outside of her comfort zone. Who knows, but this is her journey...it doesn't need judgment.

KevDaniel · August 2011

I don't think it is harsh, if anything it is our athletic nature to want to scream HEY YOUR NOT DOING ANYTHING and that comes only from us wanting to share how awesome it feels. I do the same thing when someone all decked out in their fancy running gear gets on for 2 mins at 4.0 and leaves. Then I just think well at least they are here and not at home eating Cheetos in front of the TV (one of my favorite former past-times). I also remember when I would walk for 10 mins at about a 3.5 and be like OK that is good for the day.. $:\$ We all got to start to somewhere..

torregro · August 2011

I also think it's possible not to know about someone's overall physical just state just by looking at them. She may have been there for all the reasons you are there.............or she may just be starting out and has exercise restrictions because of a heart condition. Since you can't tell by looking...........I wouldn't presume. ;-)

millerll · August 2011

Not harsh. It kills me every day at the gym with some of the buffoonery I see people doing. You know they're just wasting their time and energy and it's heart-breaking. But most folks don't take unsolicited advice very well.

And this is why I'm getting my Personal Trainer cert so I can get PAID to give people advice. Tee-hee.............

H_Factor · August 2011

unless it looks like someone is hurting him/herself with bad form, I wouldn't say anything to anyone else unless I was asked. I know from my own experience and from others I know that you're only going to: (a) make any effort to lose weight if you want to make that effort; and (b) only make the effort that you want to make. If I'm working out, I don't really want someone else I don't know to tell me I'm not working hard enough.

ShaeDetermined · August 2011

I think u r being a little quick to judge.
Granted, her workout tonight was not very productive. You saw her once. You don't know that this is her routine. You don't know what she did before/after you saw her.
And even if you are correct.
Why do you care?!?!
If all the treadmills were taken and you were watching her while you had to sit and wait....that's a whole different thread!
But really, you'd be better off critiquing your own workout instead of a stranger's.

CeejayGee · August 2011

I also think it's possible not to know about someone's overall physical just state just by looking at them. She may have been there for all the reasons you are there.............or she may just be starting out and has exercise restrictions because of a heart condition. Since you can't tell by looking...........I wouldn't presume. ;-)

Exactly. Folks should refrain from being a Judy Judgment because you really don't know that person's condition, why they are at the gym, what their health restrictions are, etc. They're a paying member and it probably took courage to go.

pinkiekat · August 2011

I think a little bit harsh just cause you don't know her story. Maybe she's just starting back at a gym and she was getting back to it. Or maybe she really didn't even want to be there and made herself go. For some 2.5 mph may be harder then for others. I started back at 2.0 mph cause I hadn't done any activity to speak of for a couple years. I saw others running and jogging, and there I was walking at what is considered to be a sllooowww pace just waiting to be done for the evening. I can now do 3.0 mph and even walked my first 5k this month. She'll get there if she wants to. If you see her again, you could always say hi and encourage her if you want. But make sure its to be supportive and not critical.

maryloo2011 · August 2011

I say you are being harsh.

You never know what other people (strangers in this case) are going through in their lives, that day, mentally or physically. It is my personal opinion that if you're not hired by someone to give them advice at the gym (like a personal trainer...), don't offer it up or think twice about it.

Hell I try not to even make eye contact with anyone unless they specifically hold the door for me or are asking if I'm using a machine.

Not your place, especially in this specific instance. She might have been doing all that she could.

withchaco · August 2011

I'm with Ceejay and killagb. Why pay attention to her in the first place? How do you know she's not recovering from an injury? And are you sure she left because you increased your speed? She may have left because she wasn't comfortable with your attention.

She's probably just starting out anyway (I think people who don't push themselves hard enough tend to quit early on because they get frustrated by lack of results... so it's natural to assume they haven't been doing it for long).

sherrillg · August 2011

Or maybe she has an injury/illness that you can't see (arthritis, MS, fibro) and maybe that was really all she could do!

darrcn5 · August 2011

Yup, I would definitely say you are being harsh. You don't know her story; I remember one time I went to gym upset as could be over some family problems and cranking out a 3 mph pace for 10 minutes on the treadmill was a victory for me that day. If someone had told me that day I was wasting my time, I would have probably burst into tears and ran off.

fastbelly · August 2011

Yes you're being harsh.
First you don't know the lady, injury sometimes doesn't show. I have a injured tendon on my foot right now and I appear and walk normal, but if I walk too fast or run for a couple of minutes I'll have pain. You can't see anything different though.
Secondly you don't need to sweat and have a red face to increase your aerobical fitness. You can do so by walking at a moderate pace, granted that 18 minutes won't do much but maybe that's all she could take at the time.

You perhaps should share your journey on another instance but not in a judgmental way, more on a supportive way. If you go talk to her with the energy you had when you wrote this post you're not doing her any good, by the contrary.

hazelnutflav · August 2011

i never give advice unless you ask me...no one wants to get barked at and cut her some slack maybe that is the best she could do..AT LEAST SHE WAS THERE.

maryloo2011 · August 2011

I have a injured tendon on my foot right now and I appear and walk normal, but if I walk too fast or run for a couple of minutes I'll have pain. You can't see anything different though.

Ditto! It frickin' blows, I've been in a walking boot since beginning of July but still sometimes run 2-3 miles. I think it's hindering my recovery time >:-( but my own fault.... I just can't help it, love running too much.

livingfitwithlori · August 2011

I really never thought about the "unseen". Several of you are right about that. I do see her often, and I probably have in my head what my trainer always tells me about his clients who don't do enough cardio and expect him to help them. I think in my heart, I really just wanted to help push her outside her comfort zone a little. The funny part about why she caught my attention again today was because she kept shouting out her guesses to Wheel of Fortune before I could guess:) Nuns my jealously of her winning got my goat!! Lol

mmiiaa · August 2011

So am I being harsh? I feel judgemental, but also frustrated..I know what can be accomplished with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

Yes, you're being harsh. First, why are you even paying attention to her? I have to say, I always avoided the gym for years b/c of exactly what has happened here. Fear that some thinner person would be monitoring me and then talking about me behind my back, judging, posting about it on Facebook, etc. And everyone always told me "Oh, people at the gym will be happy that you're just doing what you can. Just welcome you to the fitness world. No one will even notice you because they're doing their own thing." Well, this is proof that my hunches were at least somewhat right.

Maybe she was doing all she could do. I'm sure it took courage and dedication to go to the gym. Maybe this is her first week. Maybe she hasn't been off the couch in years. Maybe JUST being there WAS her being outside of her comfort zone. Who knows, but this is her journey...it doesn't need judgment.

THIS.

While I do think she could have done more, who are you to tell her so? Any exercise is better than no exercise. At least she was doing something. Everyone starts at their own pace. She'll eventually see that she has to work harder.

livingfitwithlori · August 2011

Wowzer... As my boss always says, the "tone" in social media is often misinterpreted. Well let me apologize to anyone I may have offended by posting.

The title of the post was "feeling bad" ... My true feeling was that I was feeling bad for my gut reaction to the situation, but then I realized WHY I felt bad, was because I wanted to help.

Thanks to those who sent private messages who understood my heartache for this situation:)

fiberartist219 · August 2011

Don't feel bad because you want to help. Just don't actually offer help unless it is asked for.

Saksgirl1 · August 2011

So am I being harsh? I feel judgemental, but also frustrated..I know what can be accomplished with pushing yourself outside your comfort zone.

Yes, you're being harsh. First, why are you even paying attention to her? I have to say, I always avoided the gym for years b/c of exactly what has happened here. Fear that some thinner person would be monitoring me and then talking about me behind my back, judging, posting about it on facebook, etc. And everyone always told me "Oh, people at the gym will be happy that you're just doing what you can. Just welcome you to the fitness world. No one will even notice you because they're doing their own thing." Well, this is proof that my hunches were at least somewhat right.

Maybe she was doing all she could do. I'm sure it took courage and dedication to go to the gym. Maybe this is her first week. Maybe she hasn't been off the couch in years. Maybe JUST being there WAS her being outside of her comfort zone. Who knows, but this is her journey...it doesn't need judgment.

I couldn't agree more with this! I was the same way when I first started. I used to tell myself that I wouldn't join a gym until I lost weight so people wouldn't judge me... that woman probably was doing what she could and I kinda think you're rude for judging her!

A few nights ago there was a girl next to me on the treadmill doing 2.3 miles an hour (BIG girl!), she was on there for about 4 minutes before she decided she was done... when she go off the machine, the poor girl slipped and fell! I can't tell you how many people, including myself, were there within a few seconds helping her up and asking if she was ok! There was no judgement there BY ANYONE. Every person who was there was seemingly in the mindset of "Congrats for making an effort!"

You need to remember, MOST of us were all right there with the girl in your story and the girl in my story when we first started out... luckily no one judged us! They are making an effort and they are probably doing what they can while they are starting out - it will increase with time!

LordRahl · August 2011

Don't feel too bad, at least you did not say anything, like you mention maybe it was her answers to the show that caught your attention.

If you want to help, maybe start with a conversation and get to know her, become a friend. It is easier to have a friend give you advice than a stranger, especially in an environment where a person may not feel that confident.

Best of luck,

PatientBear · August 2011

Ok, I'm going to play on both sides of the fence here. Yes, you are being harsh BUT why is that a bad thing???? Yes, she may have been doing all she could do and if that is they case, then good for her. We all have to start somewhere. But why are so many of you so quick to give that person an excuse?? Maybe she is perfectly healthy and perfectly capable but too lazy or weak to push herself!!

Harsh is not always a bad thing. Sometimes, being harsh or blunt or a bit of an a**hole is what it takes to get results. I am blunt and I am harsh. I know I'm not perfect and I know I get lazy at times. And in those times, I appreciate a reality check to quit being a wuss much more than I appreciate the "you can do it" Little Engine That Could mentality. But that's just me.

La_Amazona · August 2011

I completely understand... trust me. I think this way myself.

But at the end of the day, it's their life. Can't live it for them. The only thing I can do is set an example. I do think sharing your story is a good way to motivate others though. Some folks might feel that they can't, but they can...

I'd just never tell someone they're doing it all wrong.

Annie5859 · August 2011

I think perhaps you were too quick to judge. One never knows what is going on in someone's life. Maybe someone is ill at home, maybe she was diagnosed with a terrible illness. Is she dealing with a hardship like job loss, parental illness, mental illness, trouble with children? The possibilities are never ending. I think walking just a little is better than sitting in front of the tv mindlessly eating.

Feeling bad at the gym tonight

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