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Love & relationships!

cass89
cass89 Posts: 198 Member
edited September 2024 in Chit-Chat
Ok so i have this situation where I've known this guy since high school. he's a tad dorky and never had a girlfriend BUT he's the sweetest guy and i would imagine he would dote over any girl he was with...someone said to me last night that i should be with him...i don't know him all that well but it got me thinking...maybe if i got to know him and i liked him i could persue it...but i'm a bit worried about what people would think because he's apart of a group of 4 guys....i've hooked up with two of them...would it seem like i'm easy? i'm feeling a bit unsure. what do you all think?

cass xx

Replies

  • littlelaurabear
    littlelaurabear Posts: 57
    There's no harm in getting to know him again, take things slowly and if something blossoms then that's great. Does he know you've been with the other two guys? Would he care? Would they really care? Do what's right for you and don't worry too much about what other people think. x
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    Life is too short to wonder 'what if?'

    If you really want to get to know him, do it for yourself. Don't pursue anything if you don't actually want to, or if you think you should because others want you to.

    Have a chat... give him a chance... and stuff everyone else if they think you're easy.
  • whitejessamine
    whitejessamine Posts: 166
    I met my husband when he was 23 and I was 28 and divorced with two kids. He'd never had a girlfriend. I was leery of it at first, but he's truly the love of my life. When I asked him if my past bothered him, he said he loves me for who I am and that everything in my past was a part of what made me who I am today, so no, it didn't. What other people may think is irrelevant. The only opinions that matter are his and mine. So get to know him. See if anything clicks. If it doesn't, no harm done. But it's worth finding out if he's the one you've been trying to find, isn't it?
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
    thanks girls :)

    He does know i've hooked up with both and i doubt either would care because they're both in their own relationships now. and i doubt he would care because he was all over me last night lol.

    well i thought if i make myself available to him and getting to know him and see what happens :) thanks for your help girls really appreciate it xx
  • tradkins12
    tradkins12 Posts: 20
    Go for it :)
    I have been in this same situation before. I went for it & ended up being with him for 7 yrs. Even though we are no longer together, I have my 2 beautiful babies to be thankful for.
    Nobody is saying you have to sleep with him. Just go out and have fun. See what happens.
    Good Luck!!
  • darcyrobillard
    darcyrobillard Posts: 42
    Sometimes one kisses a lot of toads before they find their prince. This guy may be your Prince. You'll never know unless you pursue. Best wishes!
  • pinknsassyemt
    pinknsassyemt Posts: 68 Member
    This is what I have realized during my journey, of weight loss and anything else. I have had my moments, I dated a lot even when I was "fatter". Guys of all types liked me, I am assuming its my fantastic personality (LOL). Now that I have lost some weight and I am carrying myself differently all these guys keep coming out of the woodwork, even my "guy friends", and it took about 3 nights of serious contemplation for me of the same situation as you. There is a guy who is a little shy, not the best looking but not bad looking, and he has been there for me through almost anything. I mentioned something to him about maybe dating, and his repsonse was... Why would someone like you, want to date someone like me, your getting all hot and could have any guy you want. My answer was simple.. Why would I want any guy that didn't want me at my worst, when I could have the guy who wanted me no matter what.

    Anyhow, don't worry about what other people might think, do for you, if you like this guy then give it a shot. If your just considering it because a friend suggested it and your looking to be spoiled and don't really think you could fall for this guy leave it alone, no one deserves self satisfying pitty dates.
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
    I met my husband when he was 23 and I was 28 and divorced with two kids. He'd never had a girlfriend. I was leery of it at first, but he's truly the love of my life. When I asked him if my past bothered him, he said he loves me for who I am and that everything in my past was a part of what made me who I am today, so no, it didn't. What other people may think is irrelevant. The only opinions that matter are his and mine. So get to know him. See if anything clicks. If it doesn't, no harm done. But it's worth finding out if he's the one you've been trying to find, isn't it?

    wow fantastic story! thanks for your input! makes me feel heaps better
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
    This is what I have realized during my journey, of weight loss and anything else. I have had my moments, I dated a lot even when I was "fatter". Guys of all types liked me, I am assuming its my fantastic personality (LOL). Now that I have lost some weight and I am carrying myself differently all these guys keep coming out of the woodwork, even my "guy friends", and it took about 3 nights of serious contemplation for me of the same situation as you. There is a guy who is a little shy, not the best looking but not bad looking, and he has been there for me through almost anything. I mentioned something to him about maybe dating, and his repsonse was... Why would someone like you, want to date someone like me, your getting all hot and could have any guy you want. My answer was simple.. Why would I want any guy that didn't want me at my worst, when I could have the guy who wanted me no matter what.

    Anyhow, don't worry about what other people might think, do for you, if you like this guy then give it a shot. If your just considering it because a friend suggested it and your looking to be spoiled and don't really think you could fall for this guy leave it alone, no one deserves self satisfying pitty dates.

    nah i would never pursue something if it didn't feel right, especially since we have such close mutual friends. fantastic story tho. are you dating this guy now?
  • pinknsassyemt
    pinknsassyemt Posts: 68 Member
    Well.. funny story.. This guy actually lives 1400 miles away from me right now, and is moving less than 30 minutes away from me in the next week for school and work. We have an unwritten relationship right now, but we will see how things progress, if nothing else this person will always be a critical part of my life, I do however forsee a pretty awesome relationship developing :-)

    Good luck sweetie... you deserve happiness... everyone does :) p.s. keep us posted!
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
    that's so cute! lol.

    aww thank you. i will definatly let you all know xx
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
    who cares what people think. i personally believe that we all have done things we are not proud of but its what you do from this day forward that matters.

    Go for it. He might just be the knight in shining armor you been needing.

    P.S. i work with a bunch of goofy nerds and they are the kindest sweetest people ever. dont let whats on the outside discount whats inside. As i get older i am learning that myself.
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
    Awww that's sweet lol. He is very nice. Im going to try and get to know him better :) make him love me haha joking
  • keb80
    keb80 Posts: 394
    I agree with what the others have said. Go for it and see if it works out. What have you got to lose? At the very least... you won't have to wonder if you simply missed out on each other.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    The last thing I care about is what other people think of me. If *you* genuinely feel like you're easy, that's one thing. But trying to keep people from thinking things about you never works.
  • whitejessamine
    whitejessamine Posts: 166
    I met my husband when he was 23 and I was 28 and divorced with two kids. He'd never had a girlfriend. I was leery of it at first, but he's truly the love of my life. When I asked him if my past bothered him, he said he loves me for who I am and that everything in my past was a part of what made me who I am today, so no, it didn't. What other people may think is irrelevant. The only opinions that matter are his and mine. So get to know him. See if anything clicks. If it doesn't, no harm done. But it's worth finding out if he's the one you've been trying to find, isn't it?

    wow fantastic story! thanks for your input! makes me feel heaps better

    You're welcome! I love the story, too! I'm glad it could help you :happy:
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Ok so i have this situation where I've known this guy since high school. he's a tad dorky and never had a girlfriend BUT he's the sweetest guy and i would imagine he would dote over any girl he was with...someone said to me last night that i should be with him...i don't know him all that well but it got me thinking...maybe if i got to know him and i liked him i could persue it...but i'm a bit worried about what people would think because he's apart of a group of 4 guys....i've hooked up with two of them...would it seem like i'm easy? i'm feeling a bit unsure. what do you all think?

    cass xx

    If you do hook up with him, you might give the 4th guy an inferiority complex.
  • ma34113
    ma34113 Posts: 93 Member
    never miss a shot cuz if the guys are your friends they will understand and if they didnt then when you hooked up with the second on it would gotten messy but since it didnt your fine and most of the time girls or guys end up dating a group of guy or girl friends just cuz they are all similar...so makes sense he is apart of the four..but dont miss out on love cuz who knows when it will hit ya but when it does dont let things get in the way cuz youll be that girl on FACEBOOK lol that is always curios as to what he is doing cu youstill have feelings for him
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Us dorky,sweet guys need all the chances we can get so give him a chance! :drinker:
  • rmartin72
    rmartin72 Posts: 1,085 Member
    I honestly feel the exact same way. Why can any body be real and genuine. I see so many people do not understand the meaning of love and a true relationship with someone. This is probably not the place to say this on MFP.
  • roylawrence87
    roylawrence87 Posts: 970 Member
    Us dorky,sweet guys need all the chances we can get so give him a chance! :drinker:

    You aint lying dude. I have never had a chance to prove myself.

    Do it.

    forever-alone.jpg
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Who cares what people think at the end of the day they are not the ones that have to live your life
  • MrBrown72
    MrBrown72 Posts: 407 Member
    I agree with most of the people here. Who cares what other people think. Besides if it doesn't work out that still leaves one as an alternate.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    Take the chance. After I got divorced I dated two great guys I knew from school and they were both sweet and caring. We just weren't right for each other. I'm still friends with both of them and have moved on to a new partnership. This new guy is a guy I never would have dated...he's a total jock and has an alpha male personality. I usually have gone for the artistic types that are still manly but sensitive. It's okay to branch out from your 'norm' and see how it goes. I have no idea if this guy and I are going to last...but it's worth the shot and the time. Make the best of it...even if it doesn't work out....what's the worst that could happen? Best of luck!
  • cass89
    cass89 Posts: 198 Member
    even my friends are making jokes now about me chasing him...but i haven't even started haha.

    we get along quite well i've noticed andd yeah i'm just taking it slowly. thanks all for your input guys! the fact my friends are making jokes about it says they'd be cool with it lol
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