I've lost 45 pounds and no one has noticed or commented

myboa
myboa Posts: 5 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi, I have somewhat quickly gone from 200 lbs to 155. not one, and I mean not one person seems to have noticed and if they have no one has commented. what gives?

Replies

  • joecooler
    joecooler Posts: 10 Member
    Congrats and well done. I wouldn't expect anyone but pretty good friends to comment, for anyone else I would assume that they don't want to risk offending. Weight is such a sensitive issue. For close friends ... IDK?
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    Congrats. Weight loss or gain makes people uncomfortable sometimes. One of those do I/don't I say something 'things'.

    Way to go though!
  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    Weight loss comments are touchy, as people mentioned. They are a double edged sword for the speaker.. "Oh wow, you look great!" Suggests, maybe you didn't look so good before. "Have you lost weight??" The response could easily be, "I was diagnosed with ________" Close friends, family, those that know I'm trying to lose weight, they notice and comment, but even then they are careful with it and I appreciate that. It means they care about my feelings.
  • b1229
    b1229 Posts: 57 Member
    I have a friend who was really big got cancer and lost a tone of weight due to surgery and nearly not making it at some point and a tone of treatments. When people ask him wow you have lost weight how did you do it the conversation become awkward so sometimes people don't always lose weight by choice and that's why some people may not comment if they do not know you are actively trying to.
    Congrats on your weight loss. :smile:
  • mulecanter
    mulecanter Posts: 1,792 Member
    That's weird. I would think people that know you and your health would shower you with compliments. Are you notoriously sensitive and hostile to feedback? lol Congrats on a great achievement!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    myboa wrote: »
    Hi, I have somewhat quickly gone from 200 lbs to 155. not one, and I mean not one person seems to have noticed and if they have no one has commented. what gives?

    Commenting on someone's body or weight is pretty taboo. A lot of people can't take a compliment and interpret something like, "hey, you look great...have you lost weight?" to mean, "wow...you used to be a big fat ugly piece of *kitten*."

    Just do a search here and how many people hate it when someone comments on their weight loss.

    The only people that ever made comments about me losing weight were family members and one other female friend who I hadn't seen in months when I ran into her at the gym.
  • WhiteRose
    WhiteRose Posts: 5 Member
    Congratulations on your success! I would be perplexed, too, if nobody mentioned seeing a change. Maybe they don't want to discuss such a sensitive topic as weight, though. I bet you look terrific!!
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    Send a before and after photo here and we will shower you with everything you need <3:)
  • ITUSGirl51
    ITUSGirl51 Posts: 191 Member
    I also say it takes new proper fitting clothes for people to notice. Too big clothes makes you look sickly or sloppy.
  • KatTad77
    KatTad77 Posts: 39 Member
    Congratz!!
  • Hungry_Shopgirl
    Hungry_Shopgirl Posts: 329 Member
    Agree with all the others saying get better fitting clothes.

    And show us some pics! We'll be your biggest fans <3 Congrats!
  • cjborkowski
    cjborkowski Posts: 181 Member
    edited May 2018
    I agree that it’s nice to hear how great you look after your hard work!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    People can be hesitant to bring up such things so as to avoiding hurting or embarrassing the person. Also, if you lost it super fast, they might think you have some illness that you don't want to talk about.

    Or they're just jealous!
  • onematch
    onematch Posts: 241 Member
    No one said anything to me until I was down more than 50 pounds! I realized that people are afraid of offending you, as other have said. I'm sure people have noticed. You're doing great!!
  • itsgood
    itsgood Posts: 85 Member
    When I lost weight years ago, it was the same thing. No-one ever said a word until over 40 pounds. I was feeling so frustrated, yet determined not to say anything. Then someone commented, and the flood gates opened! People were uncomfortable bringing it up, but when I responded positively they relaxed. Interestingly, I'm repeating the process. I'm down 29.5 pounds and not a word, though it is clearly obvious. Human nature...funny stuff!
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    itsgood wrote: »
    When I lost weight years ago, it was the same thing. No-one ever said a word until over 40 pounds.

    ^^Ditto this 6 years ago for me. Never bothered me much though. I was pretty uncomfortable when people commented on my weight loss.

    Just today I was at the grocery store. There is a man that works in the dairy/frozen foods department. He was very obese, but has lost a huge amount of weight over the past year. I have debated with myself about commenting on his success for the past few months, and almost congratulated him today, but chickened out at the last moment again.

    I guess I have always refrained from commenting on others weight loss for fear of offending. Perhaps I should make the effort as everyone feels differently, and maybe for some, it would make their day!

    Congrats to you OP! Well done!
  • bhurley100
    bhurley100 Posts: 201 Member
    myboa wrote: »
    Hi, I have somewhat quickly gone from 200 lbs to 155. not one, and I mean not one person seems to have noticed and if they have no one has commented. what gives?

    I don't know if it's appropriate to ask someone if they lost weight or tell them they look like they lost weight.. . Kind of a touchy subject and borderline rude... maybe thats why no one is saying anything.
  • mathdad41
    mathdad41 Posts: 119 Member
    I work in a building that is 98% female. As a male there is no way I will comment on a woman's body unless she were to bring up the weight loss first.
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    There's definitely some trepidation about asking unless there's positive knowledge that a person isn't dealing with an illness.

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