Round two after pregnancy, cancer, prematurity

Hey everyone! I lost 40lbs with MFP in 2015 before getting pregnant with my first baby. I had a complicated pregnancy and gave birth to my son 6 weeks early. Thankfully he was healthy and came home soon! When he was 18 months old, we found out his little sister would be joining us, and we were overjoyed! However, two months later, Caleb was diagnosed with cancer. He went through greuling chemo treatments and they didn't work. His tumor kept growing, and with it being in the spinal column, he was paralyzed from the waist down. His doctors told us there was not much hope of him ever walking again, but truly we just wanted him to be alive in any condition. He underwent an extensive spinal surgery, followed by intense therapy and several months in a back brace. The day before Thanksgiving 2017, he took his second first steps! Caleb still has cancer but it's considered stable and all he requires currently is close monitoring, with another surgery likely in the future. During his recovery, 13 days after they officially decided he was stable, Abigail was born 9 weeks premature. She spent 6 weeks in the hospital and we struggled with the stresses and difficulties of having two medically fragile children. We have a long list of specialists, but we're all home and together, and everyone is doing well! I am the mom of two true miracles.

Through all of this, my children have been my #1 priority, as they should have been! I'm so thankful I was able to be there for every single moment, and I will not have a single regret. However my mental and physical health have suffered dramatically. I've lived off hospital cafeteria food and vending machines, I've upsized meals much too often, drank a lot of sodas... I've slept on hospital couches and chairs while pregnant, and I've experienced more stress and worry than most people thankfully ever will. But it's time to put myself back on the priority list. No more comfort through food and a well-worn spot on the couch. No more 3am Snickers or guzzling everything besides water. No more excuses. For myself, for my husband, and our two beautiful fighters who need me at my absolute best. Today is day 1, I am 219.1 lbs-- my very heaviest. My goal is overall health, confidence, and just feeling good again. I'm going to take it a day at a time, it will be a lifelong commitment to change. Even when you don't like your habits or the person you've become, it's easier to continue than it is to change. But here I am, and here it goes!