Why do the students I work with ignore me now?
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The only teacher I can even remember was my geometry teacher that grabbed me my hair and tossed me into class once when I was trying to cut class....he cared. But, didn't stop me and 3 friends from mugging him while wearing ski masks on his way home and taking his wallet. But, I passed geometry
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SabotageinStilettos wrote: »How old are the kids you teach and how old are you?
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If they are teens it is a right of passage to rebel against authority. Heck... I still do it!
If these are small children then I believe you may need to take your seat next to them in class and let the adults do the teaching.4 -
I say write nasty things in their yearbook and sign it other kids names.4
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You are supposed to be the leader. They are kids. Being “cool” means creating a safe learning environment, teaching them, challenging and engaging them, and preparing them to be responsible citizens. They might hate that teacher who forces them to learn and to modify their behavior today, but they’ll be better humans for it later, and many will be thankful they had an authority in the classroom who cared more about educating them than being liked. That’s being a teacher. Maybe you should pursue another career?1
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Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »competeagain wrote: »I say write nasty things in their yearbook and sign it other kids names.competeagain wrote: »I say write nasty things in their yearbook and sign it other kids names.
That's mean. They'll resent me even more.
I'm finding it really difficult believing you're a teacher. I guess given the state of the US educational system, it is a possibility though.
You're not there to be popular or to be friends with the kids. If you think that's why you're there, do those kids a favor and consider a career change.2 -
Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »When I started I wanted to be the fun hip teacher but I gave in so much to and now since I've been more firmer and stern they hate me and ignore me. I became a doormat and kids didn't listen to me and didn't take me serious when I'm trying to be. Some of the kids adored me and all but now they completely ignore me...well not all kids. When I said hi to one of the students this morning, she sounded disappointed and said, "Hi". She happily said hi to the others. I told her nice dress. She said thanks. She prefers her other teachers over me. Okay that's fine. I want the kids to listen to me but I also want to be cool and well liked. The teachers said I needed to be more firmer and tougher but fair. So one student he said, "I HATE you." When I started being more firmer and wouldn't let him get away with certian things. Now the students I work with....well a few won't talk to me and ignore me. I wasn't rude. I waa being a teacher. Another student only said hi to the other three teachers. When I said good morning I was ignored. The teacher said, "You can say hi to Miss Bianca." He said it disappointly. How rude.
I feel left out sometimes but just doing my job. Should I even care?
Am I being paranoid?
All of this sounds silly. And feeling left out, sounds high schoolish.
How old are you and how old are the kids you are teaching?2 -
Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »When I started I wanted to be the fun hip teacher but I gave in so much to and now since I've been more firmer and stern they hate me and ignore me. I became a doormat and kids didn't listen to me and didn't take me serious when I'm trying to be. Some of the kids adored me and all but now they completely ignore me...well not all kids. When I said hi to one of the students this morning, she sounded disappointed and said, "Hi". She happily said hi to the others. I told her nice dress. She said thanks. She prefers her other teachers over me. Okay that's fine. I want the kids to listen to me but I also want to be cool and well liked. The teachers said I needed to be more firmer and tougher but fair. So one student he said, "I HATE you." When I started being more firmer and wouldn't let him get away with certian things. Now the students I work with....well a few won't talk to me and ignore me. I wasn't rude. I waa being a teacher. Another student only said hi to the other three teachers. When I said good morning I was ignored. The teacher said, "You can say hi to Miss Bianca." He said it disappointly. How rude.
I feel left out sometimes but just doing my job. Should I even care?
Am I being paranoid?
I'd say wrong goal.
Instead of being cool or hip, which is very transient, be the teacher students can count on to be a competent educator who cares.
The teachers I look back on as I approach my 35th class reunion are not those who were cool or hip. I look back on those who brought out the very best in me.
When I was in 4th grade, it's a good thing ADD or ADHD had not yet been invented or I would have had it. I have this old pentecostal woman who was my teacher who didn't put up with my crap. But she also knew I was bright and bored in class. She made sure I had challenging work and kept my mind engaged.
I remember giving her a hug and kiss at the end of 4th grade.
It wasn't the cool and hip teachers who were able to reach me. It was the teacher who could see who I was and what I needed and made it happened. She "played" the long game and changed my life.
Not saying a cool hip teacher couldn't do that. But it's not done by being cool or hip. It's done by really caring that the student learns. Not being afraid to challenge the student to learn and grow.1 -
Teachers have feelings too!
I had a math teacher who was very strict - kids used to try to get a rise out of him because he never got upset no matter what. One kid filled the large metal wastebasket with the edges off printer paper (back in the day when printer paper had edges) and lit it on fire. Flames shooting up and scorching the ceiling, sprinklers going off, and he directs one student to get the fire extinguisher, another to cover the lab computers with a tarp, and says to the kid who did it, perfectly calmly, "That will be ten points off your final grade."
Maybe no one liked him, but after that we sure admired him.
I learned his secret years later - he had a folder with photos of a garden in it, and he used to open it up and imagine he was in a garden when he got stressed. We thought he was grading papers! You have to find whatever resource will help you feel better when you need it, because kids are not well known for giving needy people emotional support.2 -
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Maybe show up to work dressed up like Elmo or Charles Manson and they might think it's cool2
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Did they have any classroom control classes in school?
Striving to be liked is a recipe for failure. You will be perceived as a pushover with no principles.
Comparing your experiences with those of other teachers is a recipe for failure. The only factor under your control is how you treat the students.
Here are some decent goals:
- Make the best decision you can in the moment with the information you have.
- Be respectful, fair and just.
- No excuses. Your friends don’t need them and your enemies won’t believe them.
- Give yourself a personal evaluation at the end of the day. Did you give your best? What changes can you try for the next day? Then forgive yourself and stand tall.
- If a child turns down your help, let them know it’s their loss and if they change their mind, you are available.
- Find your joy and keep smiling.3 -
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Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »tbright1965 wrote: »Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »When I started I wanted to be the fun hip teacher but I gave in so much to and now since I've been more firmer and stern they hate me and ignore me. I became a doormat and kids didn't listen to me and didn't take me serious when I'm trying to be. Some of the kids adored me and all but now they completely ignore me...well not all kids. When I said hi to one of the students this morning, she sounded disappointed and said, "Hi". She happily said hi to the others. I told her nice dress. She said thanks. She prefers her other teachers over me. Okay that's fine. I want the kids to listen to me but I also want to be cool and well liked. The teachers said I needed to be more firmer and tougher but fair. So one student he said, "I HATE you." When I started being more firmer and wouldn't let him get away with certian things. Now the students I work with....well a few won't talk to me and ignore me. I wasn't rude. I waa being a teacher. Another student only said hi to the other three teachers. When I said good morning I was ignored. The teacher said, "You can say hi to Miss Bianca." He said it disappointly. How rude.
I feel left out sometimes but just doing my job. Should I even care?
Am I being paranoid?
I'd say wrong goal.
Instead of being cool or hip, which is very transient, be the teacher students can count on to be a competent educator who cares.
The teachers I look back on as I approach my 35th class reunion are not those who were cool or hip. I look back on those who brought out the very best in me.
When I was in 4th grade, it's a good thing ADD or ADHD had not yet been invented or I would have had it. I have this old pentecostal woman who was my teacher who didn't put up with my crap. But she also knew I was bright and bored in class. She made sure I had challenging work and kept my mind engaged.
I remember giving her a hug and kiss at the end of 4th grade.
It wasn't the cool and hip teachers who were able to reach me. It was the teacher who could see who I was and what I needed and made it happened. She "played" the long game and changed my life.
Not saying a cool hip teacher couldn't do that. But it's not done by being cool or hip. It's done by really caring that the student learns. Not being afraid to challenge the student to learn and grow.
Is that why the students ignore me?
Perhaps they ignore you because you selectively ignore them -- like you've ignored the question asked of you in this thread multiple times1 -
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Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »tbright1965 wrote: »Barbaramarierobertson wrote: »When I started I wanted to be the fun hip teacher but I gave in so much to and now since I've been more firmer and stern they hate me and ignore me. I became a doormat and kids didn't listen to me and didn't take me serious when I'm trying to be. Some of the kids adored me and all but now they completely ignore me...well not all kids. When I said hi to one of the students this morning, she sounded disappointed and said, "Hi". She happily said hi to the others. I told her nice dress. She said thanks. She prefers her other teachers over me. Okay that's fine. I want the kids to listen to me but I also want to be cool and well liked. The teachers said I needed to be more firmer and tougher but fair. So one student he said, "I HATE you." When I started being more firmer and wouldn't let him get away with certian things. Now the students I work with....well a few won't talk to me and ignore me. I wasn't rude. I waa being a teacher. Another student only said hi to the other three teachers. When I said good morning I was ignored. The teacher said, "You can say hi to Miss Bianca." He said it disappointly. How rude.
I feel left out sometimes but just doing my job. Should I even care?
Am I being paranoid?
I'd say wrong goal.
Instead of being cool or hip, which is very transient, be the teacher students can count on to be a competent educator who cares.
The teachers I look back on as I approach my 35th class reunion are not those who were cool or hip. I look back on those who brought out the very best in me.
When I was in 4th grade, it's a good thing ADD or ADHD had not yet been invented or I would have had it. I have this old pentecostal woman who was my teacher who didn't put up with my crap. But she also knew I was bright and bored in class. She made sure I had challenging work and kept my mind engaged.
I remember giving her a hug and kiss at the end of 4th grade.
It wasn't the cool and hip teachers who were able to reach me. It was the teacher who could see who I was and what I needed and made it happened. She "played" the long game and changed my life.
Not saying a cool hip teacher couldn't do that. But it's not done by being cool or hip. It's done by really caring that the student learns. Not being afraid to challenge the student to learn and grow.
Is that why the students ignore me?
set clear expectations and consequences.
be fair.... but drop the hammer on any, and all, misbehavior; drop it hard.1 -
I have a good rapport with most of my students (HS). For me its all about being firm but fair and most of all letting the kids now you truly care about them. Not being cool, but truly caring about them and listening to them whether its something great they did or something bad going on in their life. That's what works for me.1
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I love kids too, and studied to be a preschool teacher. I was not fabulous at it. Turns out, I am VERY good one on one, especially with kids that are having trouble, but I am way too easy going and flexible to be good at classroom management. Now I'm a behavior tutor, work one on one with the kids I can help the most, and love it! Maybe this just isn't the best path for you, and you should think about what parts you love, and are good at, and concentrate on specializing.2
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Clever_User_Name wrote: »This thread doesn't appear to be worth the time either
Very disappointing0 -
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