Lost all motivation

Emily130396 · May 2018

Hi everyone,

I'm a bit lost with everything - to give a brief background, I've always been overweight/obese probably from the age of 10, and now am 23. After years and years of trying and failing at diets (each lasting a few days before I got bored of them), I eventually had some success last year and lost around 2.5 stone (35llbs ish) in a short space of time, felt amazing and then of course put it all straight back again over Christmas, and it hasn't stopped since. I am now heavier than ever at 298 pounds (can't actually believe it's got this bad) and feel so angry at myself for putting it all back on, plus probably another 50 ish pounds since Christmas.
So basically I'm at a loss. I lack all motivation even though I should be so motivated, as I have my uni graduation coming up, want to feel comfortable in an airplane seat to go on holiday this summer to celebrate, and starting a new job soon. I go to the gym around 3 times a week so it's not the exercise I struggle with it's the food. I definitely comfort eat and just don't know how to stop snacking (I've never found a 'healthy' snack that I really enjoy, I'm a real chocoholic!). So any help/advice/support would be amazing!
Sorry for the rant and thank you

x

kommodevaran · May 2018

I always like to break down complex problems.

You (as in everybody, always) lose weight when you take in fewer calories than your body burns. In simple terms - eat less, move more. So you don't "try" to lose weight, you just eat less/move more. Don't go on diets, diets are designed to fail you. Depriving yourself (eating too little, or poorly, or food you don't like, or cutting out food you do like) is a recipe for disaster (regain).

Losing weight when you're overweight will improve your health, so it's no surprise you felt better after losing 35 pounds. But depriving yourself makes you feel miserable, so it's no surprise you regained, either. Being angry makes you feel even more miserable. Eating can make you feel better for a short while, so it's no surprise you keep gaining weight.

Motivation to weigh less, you have that. Motivation to move, you have. Motivation to eat less, you don't have, yet.

So figure out how you can eat in a way you like, but not too much. For me, planning meals to have balance and variety, eating 3 meals per day and no snacking, trying new foods occasionally, is a great help. Finding ways to get good bargains, great taste, and avoid waste, feels like an exciting and rewarding game. Your life situation and preferences will probably make your optimal plan look different from mine.

Food addiction is higly debated. Figure out if calling yourself a chocoholic (sincerely, or just for fun) helps you, or drags you down and makes living a healthy life more difficult.

88olds · May 2018

You don’t have to live like this. What has happened during your prior weight loss attemps doesn’t control what happens this time. The past does not control the future.

Calculate a moderate calorie deficit, get a food scale and start a food diary. You will soon find that you have a better chance to hit your number if you have a plan. As kommodevaran points out, you’ll be happier planning around food you actually like.

When you have days when you go over your number, you keep logging your food into your diary. Anybody can log their good days, you log them all no matter what. Plan, execute, record your intake, 1X per week check the results on the scale. If you find your plan isn’t working, problem solve to make it better. This is the weight loss process.

Embrace the process. Give up concerns over how long it takes. Concentrate on how well you can live while still losing. Bored? You’re trying to save your life, what’s boring about that?

Quit dieting. A livable downward trend will get you sustainable weight loss. A rigid eating austerity program will just get you more misery.
Eating chocolate sounds like a habit you have. If you eat too much of it, it’s a bad habit.

The good news is you don’t necessarily have to quit chocolate. You can probably eat it everyday if you really want to. But not if you can’t eat it within limits. If chocolate doesn’t work, find something else to keep from feeling deprived. Fighting feelings of deprivation is an important fight.

Start a food diary, keep it no matter what and you will always have control of the process. Nothing better in weight loss. Good luck.

LivingtheLeanDream · May 2018

When you lost before and did it quickly that meant you had to restrict your calories an awful lot so its little wonder you gained and then some when you went back to normal eating.

Take the slow and steady approach to weight loss, no deprivation necessary, well a little but not like previous.
Exercise is good so keep that going but its time to get a handle on the calories and the amount you consume.

To lose 1lb a week you need to cut 500 calories off what you currently eat per day. That's not too much hardship, right? Set yourself small goals, 10lbs in 3 months e.g and just think where you could be by the end of 2018

Make a start now, you wont regret it. So start tracking your food intake if you don't already, be consistent, commit to logging every day and before you know it you will have formed better habits.

All the best.
Ruth

cassandrahillier1992 · May 2018

Wow, your story is so similar to mine. I’ve been overweight since I was around 10 years old, and it’s progressed into morbid obesity. I’m 26 years old, and 352lbs (6 foot tall). My university graduation is in two weeks so I too have been trying for the past two weeks to really try my best to eat better and workout every day. Let’s keep each other motivated! We got this girl!

mulecanter · May 2018

Lucky you, only 23 and getting your life together. Some people go decades miserable. In addition to the good advice already posted I wonder about your exercise. Going to the gym three times a week could be good or irrelevant depending on what you do there. At your current weight I would add walking to your regimen--daily! You should exercise in some form or fashion daily--you need rest days after intense weight lifting not after a 30 minute walk. You can get into a virtuous circle with some early losses--every 5 or 10 pounds off will give you a little energy boost which you can use in more exercise. Remember that every minute walking or gym-ing is a minute away from the pantry/fridge. Focus on your net calories and stay in budget. The more you walk, the more you eat. Find a new "happy place" other than snacking (easier said than done I know), you are stress eating, deal with your stress.

Lost all motivation

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