"You look too skinny"

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smh_cliff
smh_cliff Posts: 146 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
... or perhaps you just dont like having me as the fat friend that made you look good!

I have had a couple of people tell me I should stop now but I am still 10lb away from a healthy BMI - I know that isn't everything but I am DEFINITELY not thin! It bothered me that they couldn't be supportive. Is this a common thing as people are so used to seeing me bigger, or are my friends just dicks?
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  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,384 Member
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    smh_cliff wrote: »
    Is this a common thing as people are so used to seeing me bigger, or are my friends just dicks?

    It could be one or the other, or a combination of both. They might just be used to you at a bigger size, so seeing you smaller is weird to them. It could be a bit of jealousy too.

    Either way, brush it off and keep doing what you're doing!
  • smh_cliff
    smh_cliff Posts: 146 Member
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    Thought so, I just like a second opinion before I call someone out for being one lol
  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
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    My dad told me my face looks gaunt now. Thing is, there's not much I can do about that; the rest of me still could stand to lose a few and just like you can't spot-reduce, you can't spot-gain. (Like you, I'm about 10lbs away from a healthy weight).
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    When we are used to seeing people one certain way for a long time, any change can seem severe, so they could genuinely (but unnecessarily) be worried.

    Some people say stuff like that as a compliment, usually a jealous compliment. Which I mean, hey, nobody's perfect and we all get jealous of people who accomplish something we haven't managed to sometimes.

    Or they could be jerks.
  • BZAH10
    BZAH10 Posts: 5,710 Member
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    I've rarely encountered this thankfully, because it's just plain rude but the few times I've been told that I just respond with, "Too skinny for what? Or too skinny compared to what?" and just wait for their response. A bunch of bumbling nonsensical words later the point is made without me having to say another word. Turn it back on them.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Grimmerick wrote: »
    smh_cliff wrote: »
    Thought so, I just like a second opinion before I call someone out for being one lol

    Well if they are overweight, you can always redirect their concern. "Hey I am glad you feel comfortable talking to me about my weight and health, I've been wanting to bring this up for a while now but I didn't want to come off as rude, but I am concerned about your being overweight and wanted to let you know I am here to encourage and help like you are doing for me." Only works if their overweight though.

    I seriously love this.
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
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    I'm at the tippy top of a healthy BMI and my MIL tells me I shouldn't lose any more. She could stand to lose a few lbs and asked me to help her with MFP. She had originally set her goal weight to 125 because she thought that's what I weighed. I'm like, 155!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
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    fitoverfortymom wrote: »
    Grimmerick wrote: »
    smh_cliff wrote: »
    Thought so, I just like a second opinion before I call someone out for being one lol

    Well if they are overweight, you can always redirect their concern. "Hey I am glad you feel comfortable talking to me about my weight and health, I've been wanting to bring this up for a while now but I didn't want to come off as rude, but I am concerned about your being overweight and wanted to let you know I am here to encourage and help like you are doing for me." Only works if their overweight though.

    I seriously love this.

    The real key to this is sincerity, mean it when you say it. ;)
  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Grimmerick wrote: »
    fitoverfortymom wrote: »
    Grimmerick wrote: »
    smh_cliff wrote: »
    Thought so, I just like a second opinion before I call someone out for being one lol

    Well if they are overweight, you can always redirect their concern. "Hey I am glad you feel comfortable talking to me about my weight and health, I've been wanting to bring this up for a while now but I didn't want to come off as rude, but I am concerned about your being overweight and wanted to let you know I am here to encourage and help like you are doing for me." Only works if their overweight though.

    I seriously love this.

    The real key to this is sincerity, mean it when you say it. ;)

    Absolutely! The sweetest conviction possible.
  • HoneyBadger302
    HoneyBadger302 Posts: 1,970 Member
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    I find it's usually overweight friends who make these kinds of comments.

    Typically, I avoid talking about my diet, exercise or anything along those lines unless it's someone who I know also prefers to live a fairly active/fit/trim lifestyle. Otherwise, they get judge-y, usually from a place of guilt and/or jealousy.

    I'd just retort with "my doctor is very happy with my progress and I'm working with him/her on my health" and leave it at that (even if you haven't talked to your doctor it tends to shut people up).
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    "You look too skinny"

    -said by people who perhaps need to watch their own weight and not sit on the couch and eat Cheetos... all the while binging on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, etc, and not realizing there is an exciting world outside your four walls, all you have to do is go outside and brave it!
  • Fitnessmom82
    Fitnessmom82 Posts: 376 Member
    edited May 2018
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    smh_cliff wrote: »
    ... or perhaps you just dont like having me as the fat friend that made you look good!

    I have had a couple of people tell me I should stop now but I am still 10lb away from a healthy BMI - I know that isn't everything but I am DEFINITELY not thin! It bothered me that they couldn't be supportive. Is this a common thing as people are so used to seeing me bigger, or are my friends just dicks?

    I get it a lot. It's very odd to me! I don't say anything if it's not supportive or I wait until I'm directly asked a question. No one ever bothered to say "you're getting to fat" all those years that I was gaining...why do they feel the need to chime in now? I also get a lot of backhanded compliments. It's worth noting that most of the negativity comes from my friends and family that are unhappy with themselves or their situation. Not that that is any excuse!
  • fuzzy_l0gic
    fuzzy_l0gic Posts: 69 Member
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    I was able to stop a lot of those comments when I updated my wardrobe because of the weight loss. The same XXL shirt that I wore at 240 made me look sick at 160.
  • Jthanmyfitnesspal
    Jthanmyfitnesspal Posts: 3,521 Member
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    People just hate change-- particularly in other people. They will get used to it. Hey, there's a response: "I'm sure you will get used to it!"
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    My father once said I look anorexic at 5'9" and 155lbs.

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