Female, 28, going bald, fat (ofc)... midlife crisis!

fiftyshadesofneigh
fiftyshadesofneigh Posts: 6 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Anyone else, of any age, felt like they have ruined their life? That they've wasted so much time and the biggest thing holding them back is their fat?

I am depressed.

I am 28, 14, single, balding - and by balding I mean I am nearly completely bald now (genetics) and have zero motivation to change my lifestyle. I am not diabetic, not even close and have no other conditions despite being overweight. I live with my (fat) parents because I see no reason to move out though I could. As far as I am concerned I am just passing time...

But I have a horse. And this might sound stupid but she is the only thing that makes me happy. But getting out of bed to see her is like getting out of bed to exercise. I enjoy it once I'm doing it but getting there is a huge deal. Sometimes I can lie in bed HOURS paralysed. Don't worry, she's well cared for round the clock by the yard staff. She is a sturdy 17.1hh and I am a considerate (and advanced), undemanding rider. But I am so ashamed of my weight I avoid riding her completely. And yet... there are ladies at the same yard way above my weight enjoying life. ENJOYING IT! :< Why am I so judgemental?

But my family laugh at me. They always call my efforts pointless because I can never stick to anything for more than two days. My doctor says everything will get better when I lose weight. She is resistant to put me on any medication until I give this a good go. For half year I have been "Trying" and lost exactly... ZERO.

So I stumbled upon this site. And I er... would really like a friend who won't judge me. Because I don't have friends. I haven't left the house in 8 days. I have a lot of problems and issues with self-esteem and no supportive people aside from my doctor and therapist. But here.. I just want SOMEONE to not judge or be awkward.

I've never ever put my feelings like this anywhere like this. I guess I am desperate. I want to live and being bald is hard enough. People ask if I have cancer or treat me like I do (without asking). Wigs are are embarrassingly difficult for me. I don't want to be fat as well....

Lastly... I really enjoy the small successes of people here. I have been lurking... this seems like a really nice community.

Replies

  • fiftyshadesofneigh
    fiftyshadesofneigh Posts: 6 Member
    14st, 5'6... didn't know if there was a way to edit sry
  • jusca
    jusca Posts: 28 Member
    edited May 2018
    I know you can stick to anything for more than 2 days. How do I know? You're an advanced rider! You didn't miraculously become an advanced rider overnight. You kept trying and improving. It all built up to advanced skills. Weight loss will be similar. You will try, try, fall and get back up to try again. I know you can do it! And somewhere outside of that doubt others have been laying on you, I hope you can see that you also know you can do it. Thanks for joining the community. We are here to help you succeed! You've already taken the first step of day 1 to getting started.
  • ContraryMaryMary
    ContraryMaryMary Posts: 1,777 Member
    A few points: Good work coming here, it's a step in the right direction. 28 is so young (I'm 44 now but only worked out what I wanted to do with my life at 28) you've got loads of living to do - don't waste any more time. Have you had your thyroid levels checked - hypothyroidism can make you very lethargic and makes it very easy to gain weight. It's good that you're seeing a therapist - keep it up. And as for sticking to something for more than two days - just take one day at a time, you'll have good days and middling days and absolutely awful days, but then there will always be more good days. Good luck, and get out on that horse!!
  • johnw83
    johnw83 Posts: 6,219 Member
    u have made the right choice to join my fitness pal we are all here to help each other through life feel free to add me as a friend i will help u as best as i can
  • missysippy930
    missysippy930 Posts: 2,577 Member
    Seriously, believe me, your life is all ahead of you. 28 is the beginning and you can absolutely do this. You need to realize that small goals will give you an incentive to persevere and continue forward. One day at a time. Cliché, but so true. Give yourself the chance for success. You are worth it! Don't ever give up!
  • elothen
    elothen Posts: 155 Member
    Hey there. I was 265 at age 28 and bald as well. Ok, I'm a guy so I know it's nowhere near the same thing but we share it! lol

    The thing that caught me from your story is that your family pokes fun at your attempts to better yourself. That's super not cool. You say you can move out, that may very well be the thing you need to do. It took my ex leaving to kick my butt into gear. Yes, it was traumatic, but honestly it probably saved me from having a heart attack in my early 40's.

    Life can be difficult whether you're a super model or 400lbs but I'm a firm believer that life is better at a healthy weight and I highly recommend it! Just imagine being at a weight and fitness level where you can just hop on your horse anytime you want completely effortlessly!

    Yeah, now's the time to get after it. It really is simple, not easy, but simple and after losing even 20lbs you'll be sooo glad you did! Friend me if you want to see a really pathetic attempt at a healthy diet ;-)

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