Am I Wrong?

shelbym87
shelbym87 Posts: 122 Member
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
Wasn't sure where to post this but here's the short version of a debate I got into. Basically, a friend was asking about this site and asked if it was women only, I said no both men and women but that I only had women friends. Why? Because this isn't facebook for me. I'm married, and wanted this to be a place I could go to find support from people in situations similar to myself. Not exact, but similar. If people will be commenting on my page I'd like them to be able to relate to my situation. Also, I have lots of friends that are men and never once have we talked about anything health and fitness related. This is something for me, if I had many male friends on here that I talked to I would feel the need to include my husband more. Ugh I'm just venting. I don't like to be called "close-minded" when I feel I have real, valid issues. She's single maybe she was using the conversation to gauge how many men are on here LOL.

Replies

  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    There are plenty of people on here who only want friends in their age range, gender, etc. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's your life changing journey, not anyone else's. :-)
  • TS65
    TS65 Posts: 1,024 Member
    Personal preference, but I have friend of both sexes. Why, because support is support.
  • aa1440
    aa1440 Posts: 956 Member
    Don't worry about what they say. Like you said, you are here for YOU.
  • CassieLEO
    CassieLEO Posts: 757 Member
    Im on here for fitness and health, and thats it. I DO have both men and women as friends on here, and I find my male friends JUST as supportive as my women friends. Sometimes, they know what to say that a women may not at that particular time. They are respectful and if they arent, they become ex-friends. It is totally your choice, and your story, so you can do whatever you want, but im saying that dont write off half the population either because they have the same struggles we do and arent all after women on here.
  • jesisthebest
    jesisthebest Posts: 9
    I am the same way! MFP is a place for me and a place I can go to focus on being healthy, and not having EVERYONE I know be able to look at my info.
  • mark03264
    mark03264 Posts: 334 Member
    It's your account you can choose who to have as friends. You are under no obligation to explain why.
  • jessradtke
    jessradtke Posts: 418 Member
    I don't think you sound closed minded. It just sounds like you know what kind of support network you need.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I don't think it's about being wrong...as your title says, you do what's right for you.

    Personally it didn't even occur to me about whether friends on here are male or female, they're just mfp friends, regardless. It's not something i have even thought about. Oh and i'm married if that makes any difference to anything!
  • BuffTexan
    BuffTexan Posts: 270
    I agree with everyone above! I personally use MFP for motivation and support, no matter if it comes from a man or woman. But, I'm single so I don't have anyone asking me, "who is Cindy and why is she your friend on MFP??" I can see how, if I had a partner, it would sort of be disrespectful to her.
  • ninjakitty419
    ninjakitty419 Posts: 349 Member
    I will accept any friend request I am sent, but when I look to add friends I only add females who are around my age, with a similar starting weight, preferably with small children. Like you, I feel that having connections to people in a similar place to mine will help me feel better connected to them.
  • Mlissa41
    Mlissa41 Posts: 5 Member
    This is your journey and you have the right to complete it anyway you'd like.




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  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I agree with everyone above! I personally use MFP for motivation and support, no matter if it comes from a man or woman. But, I'm single so I don't have anyone asking me, "who is Cindy and why is she your friend on MFP??" I can see how, if I had a partner, it would sort of be disrespectful to her.

    Really? Disrespectful in what way? Not something that had crossed my mind..
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    I agree with everyone above! I personally use MFP for motivation and support, no matter if it comes from a man or woman. But, I'm single so I don't have anyone asking me, "who is Cindy and why is she your friend on MFP??" I can see how, if I had a partner, it would sort of be disrespectful to her.

    Really? Disrespectful in what way? Not something that had crossed my mind..

    I agree with this. I'm married (somewhat separated) but I like support from both male and female. It's in no way disrespectful to your spouse/boyfriend/fiance to have male/female friends. Infact, I get along more with men than women - always have. I don't see this as disrespectful?
  • BuffTexan
    BuffTexan Posts: 270
    I agree with everyone above! I personally use MFP for motivation and support, no matter if it comes from a man or woman. But, I'm single so I don't have anyone asking me, "who is Cindy and why is she your friend on MFP??" I can see how, if I had a partner, it would sort of be disrespectful to her.

    Really? Disrespectful in what way? Not something that had crossed my mind..
    I'm kinda old-fashioned... When I'm in a relationship (and when I was married), my focus was on my partner. Everything I needed physically, emotionally, etc should come from my partner FIRST. She is the one that knows me best and most intimately. If I start asking other women about opinions, motivation, support, etc then I feel like I would be alienating my partner who, again in MY opinion, should be my 1-and-only support system. And it goes both ways, I NEED to be the support system for my partner and if she's not getting it from me, she'll find someone who WILL give her what she wants/needs.

    So it's a very personal decision. That's just how my feeble mind works. LOL!
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    I have 'friends' on here of both sexes, but there are more women and it's mostly women I interact with. No real reason for that, just is. I think I'd laugh in my husband's face if he tried to forbid me from talking to *GASP* another man on a friggin weightloss website.
  • shelbym87
    shelbym87 Posts: 122 Member
    Oh I don't think at all having male friends while married is disrespectful at all. I have many male friends, but none I met on a website. It's just that I want to be completely honest about my body, concerns, questions etc. I just feel more comfortable talking about my weight & body with other women. This is in no way a dig at men or saying they aren't as supportive or intelligent.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I agree with everyone above! I personally use MFP for motivation and support, no matter if it comes from a man or woman. But, I'm single so I don't have anyone asking me, "who is Cindy and why is she your friend on MFP??" I can see how, if I had a partner, it would sort of be disrespectful to her.

    Really? Disrespectful in what way? Not something that had crossed my mind..
    I'm kinda old-fashioned... When I'm in a relationship (and when I was married), my focus was on my partner. Everything I needed physically, emotionally, etc should come from my partner FIRST. She is the one that knows me best and most intimately. If I start asking other women about opinions, motivation, support, etc then I feel like I would be alienating my partner who, again in MY opinion, should be my 1-and-only support system. And it goes both ways, I NEED to be the support system for my partner and if she's not getting it from me, she'll find someone who WILL give her what she wants/needs.

    So it's a very personal decision. That's just how my feeble mind works. LOL!

    That's fair enough, it's how you feel and your relationship works.
  • BuffTexan
    BuffTexan Posts: 270
    Oh I don't think at all having male friends while married is disrespectful at all. I have many male friends, but none I met on a website. It's just that I want to be completely honest about my body, concerns, questions etc. I just feel more comfortable talking about my weight & body with other women. This is in no way a dig at men or saying they aren't as supportive or intelligent.
    Oh, I didn't take it as a cheap shot at men or anything. In fact, I completely agree with you and I think you are spot-on.
  • BuffTexan
    BuffTexan Posts: 270
    I agree with everyone above! I personally use MFP for motivation and support, no matter if it comes from a man or woman. But, I'm single so I don't have anyone asking me, "who is Cindy and why is she your friend on MFP??" I can see how, if I had a partner, it would sort of be disrespectful to her.

    Really? Disrespectful in what way? Not something that had crossed my mind..
    I'm kinda old-fashioned... When I'm in a relationship (and when I was married), my focus was on my partner. Everything I needed physically, emotionally, etc should come from my partner FIRST. She is the one that knows me best and most intimately. If I start asking other women about opinions, motivation, support, etc then I feel like I would be alienating my partner who, again in MY opinion, should be my 1-and-only support system. And it goes both ways, I NEED to be the support system for my partner and if she's not getting it from me, she'll find someone who WILL give her what she wants/needs.

    So it's a very personal decision. That's just how my feeble mind works. LOL!

    That's fair enough, it's how you feel and your relationship works.
    I "wish" I had a relationship that "works!" LOL! I'm single so I don't have to be accountable to anyone... maybe that's a good thing! Hahaha. Ultimately it's up to the person, completely a personal decision. :-)
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
    There's no room for personal preferences on MFP. You have to be friends with exactly the same amount of men as women or you'll gain weight. Just like in real life. Cuz this is srius buznss.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    Personal preference, but I have friend of both sexes. Why, because support is support.

    That is awesome! the trans community can loose weight too!!


    (this is a reason ((not)) to have many male friends, they tend to make more comments)
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