Oh how the mighty has fallen..

I've been on this journey for a few years. I've lost 100 lbs, I felt amazing! I worked out every day, had my diet in check..last year at this time I completed a cross fit challenge and was running 5ks. I felt unstoppable. I started a new relationship and little by little I would allow myself to get a little lazy to goof off, but I still had things under control mostly. His goals wasn't as strong as mine and it was easier to relax more. I started have heel problems and suffering with Planter facia and running became difficult but i still manage to keep going but lost even more steam, I plateaued with my weight loss jus 20 lbs from my goal. Then most tragicly my mom got ill in December. My life turned upside down and my time and energy hit rock bottom I began to spiral. Things got worse and worse and sadly I lost my mom recently. I'm most definitely broken and jus breathing in and out is a daily goal, but I know my mom wouldnt want me to let all my efforts go to waste and gain all that weight back. She was so proud of what I accomplished.
I need help finding myself again. It's not about just looking good. It's how I feel and I don't feel good. I know what I have to do...I jus can't seem to make myself get it done. So I'm back here where I started my journey hoping if i go back to my roots I can put it back together.