Anyone moved to another state alone before?

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xOlaf
xOlaf Posts: 39 Member
in Chit-Chat
It's 3am and I'm having a little anxiety attack about moving soon to another state for a job. It's a dream job and I'm so lucky for the opportunity as it was super competitive to get.

Here's the thing - I'm painfully introverted and my future coworkers who has the same position are super outgoing. They hang out with each other at work and outside of work and it's so hard for me to open up to people. I actually didn't want to move but if I turned down this job opportunity, I would've regretted it for life. I'm almost 26, I figured if I didn't like the job after two years, I can just move on. But at least I'll know that I gave it a shot.

Anyone moved out of state alone before with words of advice? I'm so sad to leave my close friends, but I've been working so hard for this and I just can't forgive myself if I were to turn it down. Socializing is just so overwhelming to me and it drains my energy. I don't want to be singled out as the "weird quiet one" for being this way either :(

Don't get me wrong, I want to make friends. But on the same token, I usually don't vibe too well with extremely outgoing people and it's a little scary to me that a lot of people there are like that (lol)

Replies

  • mybassfishingirl
    mybassfishingirl Posts: 195 Member
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    It's very hard at 1st, we lived in
    Maryland our whole life, at 45 we moved out of state also, leaving behind our jobs, friends & family, it was a sad time for us, but I got use to it, I been at the same job in SC., for 14 years now, met new friends, coworkers, neighbors, ect..after the 1st year, it started getting easier, just hang in there, everything seems strange at 1st, but you will get use to things...till this day, I still live in SC
    and have no plans on moving back to Maryland, & that's the state we grew up in...hope this helps...
  • JMed29
    JMed29 Posts: 94 Member
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    Not yet
  • Just_J_Now
    Just_J_Now Posts: 9,551 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    mybassfishingirl wrote: »
    It's very hard at 1st, we lived in
    Maryland our whole life, at 45 we moved out of state also, leaving behind our jobs, friends & family, it was a sad time for us, but I got use to it, I been at the same job in SC., for 14 years now, met new friends, coworkers, neighbors, ect..after the 1st year, it started getting easier, just hang in there, everything seems strange at 1st, but you will get use to things...till this day, I still live in SC
    and have no plans on moving back to Maryland, & that's the state we grew up in...hope this helps...

    You're a we. This individual is obviously moving out of state alone, without a spouse or a sex partner. Big difference.

    I was thinking the same thing. It's totally different when you move with someone. It's still hard moving out of state and starting over some place new but I imagine MUCH harder if you're by yourself.

    I think if this is your dream job, then definitely go for it. You're still young and like you said, you can always move back if things don't work out but at least you gave it a shot.

    Will you be close enough to your "old friends" or family where you can visit each other? You'll also meet new people and make new friends but don't feel obligated to socialize if you're not comfortable. Focus on yourself and your job and things will fall into place. Best of luck to you.
  • slessofme
    slessofme Posts: 7,739 Member
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    My brother did and he made some great friends that he is still close to after moving states a few more times. Just be yourself, people are more aware/understanding of the introvert/extrovert differences now. For team building purposes, it's probably best to go out with your coworkers occasionally, rather than not at all. And check meetup.com in your new area for groups of people with similar non-work interests. Be careful about isolating yourself or investing the entirety of your limited social energy in your coworkers after the first several months.
  • Cassandraw3
    Cassandraw3 Posts: 1,214 Member
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    I did. When I was 25 I got a job offer in Minnesota (I was living in Indiana at the time, born and raised in Illinois). Prior to my job interview I had never been to Minnesota. I took the job and moved not knowing a single person here. I decided to live on the Wisconsin side since my job was right on the border. Lived here over 4 years now and I really like it. Best decision I ever made. A little after a year living here, I met my now husband. I am also a very introverted person and I have managed to make friends over time. It can be scary to move somewhere you don't know anyone, but nothing in life worth having comes easy.
  • Keto_N_Iron
    Keto_N_Iron Posts: 5,385 Member
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    Clever_User_Name wrote: »
    I did, but my situation was different. I left everything I'd ever known and went to Navy boot camp. So, I really didn't have any decisions to make on my own for the first couple of months.

    My exact experience just not Navy
  • xOlaf
    xOlaf Posts: 39 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I know it's not as uncommon as I think it is, but moving alone is just frightening. My family will be 7(ish) hours away, so it's not horrible. Definitely could've been worse. I find solace in the fact that I did this when I was 18 for college, right after highschool, but my family was only 2-3 hours away so it was much easier. Hopefully things will fall into place soon!
  • bojack3
    bojack3 Posts: 1,483 Member
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    I do pretty much everything alone.....ummm....yeah, that really does mean just about everything ;)
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    DAMAGEDG00DS wrote: »
    If you're introverted moving alone shouldn't be a problem .

    Some might say the opposite is true
  • bojack3
    bojack3 Posts: 1,483 Member
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    caco_ethes wrote: »
    DAMAGEDG00DS wrote: »
    If you're introverted moving alone shouldn't be a problem .

    Some might say the opposite is true

    Some might say the earth is flat.....doesn't make it true....;)
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
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    bojack3 wrote: »
    caco_ethes wrote: »
    DAMAGEDG00DS wrote: »
    If you're introverted moving alone shouldn't be a problem .

    Some might say the opposite is true

    Some might say the earth is flat.....doesn't make it true....;)

    Hahaha! I hate you
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    edited May 2018
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    xOlaf wrote: »
    It's 3am and I'm having a little anxiety attack about moving soon to another state for a job. It's a dream job and I'm so lucky for the opportunity as it was super competitive to get.

    Here's the thing - I'm painfully introverted and my future coworkers who has the same position are super outgoing. They hang out with each other at work and outside of work and it's so hard for me to open up to people. I actually didn't want to move but if I turned down this job opportunity, I would've regretted it for life. I'm almost 26, I figured if I didn't like the job after two years, I can just move on. But at least I'll know that I gave it a shot.

    Anyone moved out of state alone before with words of advice? I'm so sad to leave my close friends, but I've been working so hard for this and I just can't forgive myself if I were to turn it down. Socializing is just so overwhelming to me and it drains my energy. I don't want to be singled out as the "weird quiet one" for being this way either :(

    Don't get me wrong, I want to make friends. But on the same token, I usually don't vibe too well with extremely outgoing people and it's a little scary to me that a lot of people there are like that (lol)

    You need to get adopted by some extroverts and have them make friends for you. It works. It's easier to know a few people well. Maybe focus on meeting just one or two people at first.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
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    i have. at work I did not pretend to be something I was not. I was cordial polite friendly but left at 5 and went home - still do. yes they talk about me - stick to myself and EAT HEALTHY - walk at lunch - -and basically am very different than everyone there - except a couple of associates from another dept. I ignore everything except my work. and my home life is great. take the best and leave the rest. take care of you <3

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