Fell off the wagon and CANNOT get back on.....getting depressed and frustrated
Slulik
Posts: 79 Member
I know exactly what I need to do, but why can't I do it?
Compared to this time last year, I am 20 pounds heavier. I set a goal to lose 20 pounds by July 28, but the numbers continue to creep up on the scale.
I know it's my eating...I work out every morning at a workout class and burn approx 400-600 calories in 45 minutes.
Why can't I get my eating on track? I am so frustrated and disgusted with myself, that I continue to eat like crap...hello ice cream. Seriously, I know I need to eat well, I know I need to prep...but I do not do it. Laziness, excuses, easier to eat out...yup...sounds about right. I WANT to lose weight, but my motivation is at -75 right now. My clothes that fit great, don't fit well anymore....I am disgusted every time I stare into the mirror again. So, guess what, I have gone out and bought larger sized clothes....after being so proud by getting rid of all the clothes that were too big.
I do not know what to do anymore....I have a good few meals, maybe one good day, and then BAM...oh hey slulik, you did awesome yesterday and have an extra 500 calories because you worked out...let us treat ourselves.
Any suggestions on what I can do to get back on track, with small steps. I have been down the weightloss path many times, my peak success was 110lbs lost...definitely not in onederland anymore. I am a fool for allowing this to happen again....
/end vent
Compared to this time last year, I am 20 pounds heavier. I set a goal to lose 20 pounds by July 28, but the numbers continue to creep up on the scale.
I know it's my eating...I work out every morning at a workout class and burn approx 400-600 calories in 45 minutes.
Why can't I get my eating on track? I am so frustrated and disgusted with myself, that I continue to eat like crap...hello ice cream. Seriously, I know I need to eat well, I know I need to prep...but I do not do it. Laziness, excuses, easier to eat out...yup...sounds about right. I WANT to lose weight, but my motivation is at -75 right now. My clothes that fit great, don't fit well anymore....I am disgusted every time I stare into the mirror again. So, guess what, I have gone out and bought larger sized clothes....after being so proud by getting rid of all the clothes that were too big.
I do not know what to do anymore....I have a good few meals, maybe one good day, and then BAM...oh hey slulik, you did awesome yesterday and have an extra 500 calories because you worked out...let us treat ourselves.
Any suggestions on what I can do to get back on track, with small steps. I have been down the weightloss path many times, my peak success was 110lbs lost...definitely not in onederland anymore. I am a fool for allowing this to happen again....
/end vent
8
Replies
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It's not about eating well (though it's always good for your health), it's about eating less. Start prelogging your food and weighing everything out. With your workouts, maybe only eat back half of those calories. I still eat ice cream regularly...just weighed out in a bowl instead of straight out of the pint.6
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I am right with you, I lost 50 pounds in 2 years now I am slowly putting it back on. Stress from work and family make me tired all the time, I'm depressed and just want to cry. I know exactly what to do, I just can not find the right mind set to get there.0
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It's not the food that's the problem, it's our relationship to food. Get a copy of The Beck Diet Solution and follow the steps in it. It's *not* a diet plan, it's a cognitive behavioral approach to developing the skills needed to keep the pounds off. It will work with any approach you take to losing weight, including MFP logging.
http://diet.beckinstitute.org/
https://beckdietsolution.wordpress.com/
This blogger describes her experience in implementing the Beck Diet Solution over a six week period:
http://www.alphabetsalad.com/?s=Beck+Diet+Solution6 -
It’s not about being perfect it’s about being better. Just take it one day at a time. You can do it!!!4
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Small steps:
- Buy a food scale and weigh all your meals, log them.
- Cut down on calories until you're within your calorie goals.
- Repeat steps 1-2
4 -
if you're feeling like you're being lazy, and tend to go easy - have you thought of springing for individually packaged snacks? cut fruit, baby carrots, single serve dip, single serving chips, cookies, individual ice creams rather than a whole pint, etc - this means virtually no work for you as far as weighing or measuring your food, you literally just have to add it up to see where you are. No prepping required. You might find your go to ice cream has more cals than you realized, and can swap it for a lesser version and be just as happy. You can also keep having what you like - it's possible a few days of seeing the numbers add up you will get a wake up call that you're not where you think you are with calories and gain some motivation from that.3
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I'm sorry you're having a problem getting back on the wagon. I'm sure we all know how hard that can be.
Don't beat yourself up. Sugar is physiologically addictive so giving in to temptation doesn't mean you're a weak or bad person. It does mean that you need to plan a strategy in advance so that when you're tempted, you won't give in.
First, you need to cut ALL added sugar from your diet. Even the tiniest bit can keep the craving cycle going. That means you need to read the ingredients list on everything you eat. They hide sugar in really surprising places, like canned tomatoes and non-sweet tasting salad dressings. Be on the watch for any form of added sugar, i.e. HFCS, evaporated cane juice, etc.
When you do this, there will be cravings. What have you done in the past to handle cravings that has worked for you? Suggestions...take a walk, eat a pre-planned snack that doesn't have sugar or my personal favorite, hot tea with a no-carb sweetener (I like Truvia). It will help minimize your cravings if you cut out starchy carbs while you're trying to kick the sugar habit.
Another thing to watch is to make sure you're eating enough nutrient dense foods...protein and non-starchy vegetables...to fuel yourself. If you're leaving yourself hungry by not eating enough of the foods your body needs, you're setting yourself up to fail. Hunger is powerful force that will drive you to eat whatever is handy. Purge your kitchen of the "crap" and stock up on the good stuff.
You've been really successful at losing weight in the past and you can be successful today! Take it one day at a time and do your best. Good luck!9 -
Just want to say that I can relate. I about cried recently when I had to go dig out the 1 pair of bigger pants I had saved after a 20 lb gain. In my case, it's depression- just can't always bring myself to act in my best interests. Doing better lately. Managing my environment is key for me- trying to keep food out of the house that weakens my commitment. Tapping into the sense of accomplishment that comes from meeting your goals for the day. And I would second The Beck Diet Solution book.4
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Whenever people talk about falling off weight loss wagons and knowing what to do but not being able to, I always wonder if they've taken each and every tip out there to heart and try to live by them all, instead of just eating less and moving more, which sounds so simple that it borders stupid, but not only is it not stupid and what you need to do, it's also challenging enough - because it's something you have to do consistently, for real, and for a long time - but at least it doesn't have to be exhausting and you shouldn't feel miserable, because you can go about it exactly as you please.8
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Thank you for your post and all of the resonses. They are really helpful for me. I lost over 20 lbs last year after having my second child. I kept it off for a year - just hit that milestone in April! But, all of the sudden I am falling off the wagon and feeling like I have no control. Like you, I still work out regularly and pretty intensely. But, my eating is getting really off track. I’m giving into my sugar cravings every night after dinner. Slowly the weight I worked so hard to lose is creeping back on. I felt so confident and now it’s crumbling. I’ve gained 4 pounds in just a few days. Let’s do this! Let’s take it one day at a time and get back on track!!0
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Thank you for your post and all of the resonses. They are really helpful for me. I lost over 20 lbs last year after having my second child. I kept it off for a year - just hit that milestone in April! But, all of the sudden I am falling off the wagon and feeling like I have no control. Like you, I still work out regularly and pretty intensely. But, my eating is getting really off track. I’m giving into my sugar cravings every night after dinner. Slowly the weight I worked so hard to lose is creeping back on. I felt so confident and now it’s crumbling. I’ve gained 4 pounds in just a few days. Let’s do this! Let’s take it one day at a time and get back on track!!
It's very unlikely you gained 4 real pounds in a few days. Most of that's going to be water weight which will come back off once you get things in order
You got this! 0 -
I know exactly what I need to do, but why can't I do it?
Compared to this time last year, I am 20 pounds heavier. I set a goal to lose 20 pounds by July 28, but the numbers continue to creep up on the scale.
I know it's my eating...I work out every morning at a workout class and burn approx 400-600 calories in 45 minutes.
Why can't I get my eating on track? I am so frustrated and disgusted with myself, that I continue to eat like crap...hello ice cream. Seriously, I know I need to eat well, I know I need to prep...but I do not do it. Laziness, excuses, easier to eat out...yup...sounds about right. I WANT to lose weight, but my motivation is at -75 right now. My clothes that fit great, don't fit well anymore....I am disgusted every time I stare into the mirror again. So, guess what, I have gone out and bought larger sized clothes....after being so proud by getting rid of all the clothes that were too big.
I do not know what to do anymore....I have a good few meals, maybe one good day, and then BAM...oh hey slulik, you did awesome yesterday and have an extra 500 calories because you worked out...let us treat ourselves.
Any suggestions on what I can do to get back on track, with small steps. I have been down the weightloss path many times, my peak success was 110lbs lost...definitely not in onederland anymore. I am a fool for allowing this to happen again....
/end vent
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1. It's all about being in a calorie deficit. Basically, unless you have an allergy, there are no good and bad foods.
2. If you feel yourself gaining, set your goal to maintenance. Stopping the gain, IS A SUCCESS. Then try to eat just below that every day until you get comfortable there. Then change your goal to weight loss. Do 1/2lb a week so that it doesn't feel like much difference in your daily life.
3. Remind yourself that you don't have to be perfect in your diet. Today I had an Old Fashioned (Whiskey drink) and Chili's for dinner. I just made sure to fit it into my calorie goals by doing a little more exercise and lowered my calories for breakfast and lunch.1 -
I second the suggestion about pre-logging food. Planning what I'm going to eat in the morning really helps me stay on track. That way if there is something I really fancy - my current weakness is stone-baked Mediterranean vegetable pizza, a few weeks ago it was salted caramel ice cream - I can just plan the rest of my meals and snacks to fit in into my calorie goal for the day. For me not depriving myself of things really helped, because it stopped the feeling of 'oh, I've eaten something bad, today is ruined, might as well eat even more!' You don't have to have a perfect 'clean eating' diet to lose weight and be healthy.
Be flexible with your weight loss goal date, say to yourself that you want to lose 20lbs and ideally, it would be by July 28, but if you've lost some of that weight by July 28, that's still good enough and you can take a bit longer to lose the rest. I find myself self-sabotaging if I set myself a fixed deadline.
I'm the same with food prepping. Find easy things - fresh fruit and veggies are good snacks. Baked beans are easy to heat up and a good source of protein. Find some recipes for quick and easy meals. Remember you can still eat out sometimes, but try to plan what you'll get first so you can stick within your calorie goal.
Don't restrict too heavily. I lost 12lbs at 1/2lbs a week. Sure I could have lost weight faster with a larger deficit, but I'd have been more likely to fall off the wagon within a day or two and gain it back. If you're having a rough day, up your calories to maintenance for the day, that's still a win compared to gaining!1 -
When I'm trying to get back to it ,I start slowly. Like Eat a little less today, tommorow bring out your food scale, eat a serving of ice cream instead of 3 and so on. It helps me ease back into it without too much pressure.0
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If the problem is that you're feeling lazy, find a way to work with your laziness.
I have one or two meals I can kick out that take almost no time or effort but fit my goals. One is chicken thighs done with Wicker's BBQ marinade in the oven with a side of canned field peas and canned greens. Takes almost zero effort, feeds a family, reasonably healthy apart from the sodium content, I can do it on those days when my nose is runny and I can barely stand up to take a shower.
If I'm feeling even lazier than that - let's say I don't even have time to shop - there's an Italian place which delivers chicken pesto wraps and spaghetti with marinara sauce and fresh salads. Nuke a spaghetti squash, throw the pasta away, put the sauce and meatballs on the squash, eat salad, bam, one low calorie low carb (diabetic here) dinner. Next day, chicken wrap with a side of cottage cheese. Find some place that will make takeout food which fits your goals - a lot of Chinese places will do steamed veggies and stir fry without a lot of sauce if you ask.
Also figure out treats which satisfy your snacky cravings. Mine are Greek yogurt with berries, or Halo Top (instead of ice cream) and sliced radishes (instead of chips.)1 -
I know exactly what I need to do, but why can't I do it?
Compared to this time last year, I am 20 pounds heavier. I set a goal to lose 20 pounds by July 28, but the numbers continue to creep up on the scale.
I know it's my eating...I work out every morning at a workout class and burn approx 400-600 calories in 45 minutes.
Why can't I get my eating on track? I am so frustrated and disgusted with myself, that I continue to eat like crap...hello ice cream. Seriously, I know I need to eat well, I know I need to prep...but I do not do it. Laziness, excuses, easier to eat out...yup...sounds about right. I WANT to lose weight, but my motivation is at -75 right now. My clothes that fit great, don't fit well anymore....I am disgusted every time I stare into the mirror again. So, guess what, I have gone out and bought larger sized clothes....after being so proud by getting rid of all the clothes that were too big.
I do not know what to do anymore....I have a good few meals, maybe one good day, and then BAM...oh hey slulik, you did awesome yesterday and have an extra 500 calories because you worked out...let us treat ourselves.
Any suggestions on what I can do to get back on track, with small steps. I have been down the weightloss path many times, my peak success was 110lbs lost...definitely not in onederland anymore. I am a fool for allowing this to happen again....
/end vent
I was recently in the same boat. I say "recently". I'm out of the boat and back in the saddle.
I joined MFP in late 2012 weighing 232lbs. I started tracking my food in Feb 2013, experimented with various "dieting" programs and settled on TDEE -20%. I started walking, then hiking, strength training and finally cycling. I lost almost 60lbs (down to 174), felt great, looked good and had strength and cardiovascular endurance by mid 2014.
Then I got complacent. And have stayed there for the better part of two years. I slowly gained back 30lbs and have been sitting around 200-210 for a while.
And then I got fed up again and became ready to commit to my health and fitness again. I am down 8lbs in May (from 205 to 197) by doing what I know works. A consistent daily deficit of 1000 calories. I have my daily calories set at 1400 (sedentary TDEE less 500cals) and I aim for daily exercise burn of an additional 500cals (cycling is a godsend in this aspect)
So far, I haven't gotten frustrated, but there have been the temptations. Boxes of donuts in the break room at work, my hubby's stash of sweets at home, the urge to OVER indulge on favorite foods.
Remembering how FANTASTIC I felt 3-4 years ago keeps me on track. Remembering how much confidence I had, how proud I was on my physical accomplishments (completed a 2-day 150mile charity bike ride at age 53), how much energy and enthusiasm for life I experienced. That is what propels me forward. Because being in that place was *kitten* awesome and I wanna be there again - soon.
2 -
I’m in the thread called “JFT - daily commitment thread”
It goes on the basis that anything is achievable if you do it for one day.
Rather than looking at your journey as a whole takeit one day at a time!
So we post goals for the day, go about our day with the goals in mind and this can be as simple as “dont go over on calories” or “drink 8 glasses of water”
And later that day you come back and post how you did, what you achieved what you didnt.
We’re all really nice and there’s no judgement there! I’ve made some really good friends on there and you can try it out too!
I’ve just had a baby 3 months ago, I was not feeling the motivation at all and you basically described me. But yesterday I posted my goals and tried to achieve what I could “just for one day” and I did it!
So now is a new day and I’m doing it again!
We also do monthly challenges, April was water intake, May was move more (15mins minumum daily) and this month I think is struggling with emotional eating and reaching for an alternative and controlling emotional eating!
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So I have logged on this evening to right a post pretty much exactly the same as you have written. I work out 4-5 days per week, but my eating is on a slipppery slope. The more disappointed I am
In my appearance the more inclined I am
To eat the junk.
If you wish to become mfp friends I know I certainly could do with the support. I want to wake up tomorrow and really get back on track.0 -
For me, it has been about changing my mindset. There is no single weight-loss track and there is no single weight-loss wagon. There’s just life, and you make choices in it. Some days it’s harder than others, but every day I have to make these choices. Some days, my choice is to enjoy whatever event I’m going to or food I’m craving, and just try to not go over maintenance. Other days, I’m feeling more motivated and able to do an extra workout or try out a new healthy recipe to see if it could become a regular food. I just try to surround myself with things that make choices easier - if I stock my fridge sensibly once a week, I don’t go to the grocery store every day and I have much less chances of choosing the candy aisle. I put the MFP app on my phone in the space I used to have another social media app, so my mindless scrolling fingers automatically end up in MFP. What I don’t do is any dieting or workout plan that is temporary for a set period of time. I may try new things, but I don’t completely cut out anything or commit to a routine if I don’t feel like this is something I can do the rest of my life. Hell no, I’m not giving up chocolate for the rest of my life, so might as well learn how to incorporate it into the lifestyle I actually want.1
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I empathise completely with you, I started last September with lots of enthusiasm and have lost 28lb since then but lately I have been slipping and, for me, it's all to do with state of mind. I was in a happy place when I started and really took control because I was strong, but at the moment I'm feeling down due to family problems and food is my comfort - what goes in my mouth the one thing that I'm fully in control of and the attitude is "I want it, I'm going to have it, because I can".
It's a constant battle and like you said I know exactly what to do but I just can't do it, the day starts off well but by night time when I'm sitting on my own with the TV I just want to eat.
Writing this though has helped and I'm going to have a long hard talk with myself and then do some food planning for the next few days - and I'm not doing my usual shop either, if it isn't in the house I can't eat it can I1
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