Tired of being told to stop losing weight

wenben4321
wenben4321 Posts: 5 Member
edited November 27 in Health and Weight Loss
Lately it seems whenever I’m at a family event or hanging out with friends I haven’t seen in a while, someone ALWAYS has to come up to me and tell me that I’ve lost “too much weight” and that I’m “scary skinny.” I’m finding it really hard to stay on track with everyone telling me all of these things and for the past two weeks I’ve consistently gone over my calorie limit. Right now, I’m 6’3 male and weigh 192 lbs and still have 21% body fat, which means yes I still have a fairly prominent belly. I sometimes understand why they think it’s so “scary” because last November I used to weigh 293 lbs. Yes, I’ve lost a lot of weight but it’s just that I know have probably another 20 lbs to lose and it’s getting really hard to follow through with losing weight lately. What can I say to them to make them understand that I’m just trying to look better and be healthier? It’s just getting hard and

Replies

  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,138 Member
    Its happened to almost everyone that has lost a significant amount of weight. What you are experiencing is very normal. Especially from people who don't see you every day so their perspective is different.

    Tell them, "You weren't concerned when I was seriously overweight, why are you saying something now that I'm nearing a healthy weight for my height and age?" ;)

    Okay probably not the best response, but I would kindly thank them for their concern and let them know you are getting close to your ideal healthy weight for your height, your doctor is very happy with your progress, and that you've never felt better. That should shut them up and not bring it up again.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    edited June 2018
    Do not engage. It is your body and you are not obligated to explain anything. Additionally, the odds of your explanation convincing them to stop commenting are abysmally low. People like that see your explanation as an invitation to give more advice or share more opinions.

    If you say anything at all, let it be "I'm not discussing this." In other words, don't play coy. Address it head on. Teach people how to treat you by not being wishy washy.
  • Davidsdottir
    Davidsdottir Posts: 1,285 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    You lost 100lbs in 6 months, I'm not suprised people are concerned.

    This was my thought as well.
  • try2again
    try2again Posts: 3,562 Member
    Yikes... having lost at a rate of 4 lbs/week, I can see why people would be concerned. My hubby lost 35 lbs over the course of about 3 months (he underestimated his activity level when setting up his MFP profile), and our friends & family were concerned, as was I. I now realize his weight is perfectly healthy, but the too-fast rate of loss made it seem extreme and caused him to look unwell (you lose a lot of lean muscle mass along with fat doing it that way). You can tell people that the weight you are aiming for is perfectly healthy for your size, but likely they will need a period of adjustment to see it that way. And if you adjust your rate of loss down to .5 lb/week the way you should, people likely will not notice you losing the last few lbs.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I guess it depends.
    If you think the comment is coming from a place of love and concern you can sit them down and explain your plan, what a healthy weight is for you, what health improvements you are looking for with weight loss, etc. If they understand better they will likely be less concerned.
    If you feel the comment is coming from more you make the rest of us look bad, we don't like people being different attitude then tell them you are doing fine and change the subject.
  • SilverRose89
    SilverRose89 Posts: 447 Member
    wenben4321 wrote: »
    Lately it seems whenever I’m at a family event or hanging out with friends I haven’t seen in a while, someone ALWAYS has to come up to me and tell me that I’ve lost “too much weight” and that I’m “scary skinny.” I’m finding it really hard to stay on track with everyone telling me all of these things and for the past two weeks I’ve consistently gone over my calorie limit. Right now, I’m 6’3 male and weigh 192 lbs and still have 21% body fat, which means yes I still have a fairly prominent belly. I sometimes understand why they think it’s so “scary” because last November I used to weigh 293 lbs. Yes, I’ve lost a lot of weight but it’s just that I know have probably another 20 lbs to lose and it’s getting really hard to follow through with losing weight lately. What can I say to them to make them understand that I’m just trying to look better and be healthier? It’s just getting hard and

    Like others have said you must have been losing 4lb a week and that is a very quick rate of loss so is probably partly why they are concerned. The other part is just that they are not used to seeing you at this size, which a lot of us also get comments on but the more important factor here is your rate of loss which is not ideal and could be setting you up for problems.

  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Same thing happened to me, and occasionally still does. 99% of the time it's from people that are very heavy and aren't losing weight. I was always the fat friend, now I'm not.

    Often times it's just that people aren't used to seeing as anything other than fat. Sometimes it's a defense mechanism as by losing a lot of excess fat and keeping it off, you're proof that it can be done. It's a very blunt visual that weight loss is possible, especially for people who "can't lose weight".

    Ignore them.
  • jefamer2017
    jefamer2017 Posts: 416 Member
    briscogun wrote: »
    Its happened to almost everyone that has lost a significant amount of weight. What you are experiencing is very normal. Especially from people who don't see you every day so their perspective is different.

    Tell them, "You weren't concerned when I was seriously overweight, why are you saying something now that I'm nearing a healthy weight for my height and age?" ;)

    Okay probably not the best response, but I would kindly thank them for their concern and let them know you are getting close to your ideal healthy weight for your height, your doctor is very happy with your progress, and that you've never felt better. That should shut them up and not bring it up again.

    That's what I would say. Sounds like a perfect response.
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