Dinner with your spouse

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FL_Hiker
FL_Hiker Posts: 919 Member
in Motivation and Support
Every evening I wait for my hubby to have dinner, I just don't feel right eating without him. And I don't like wasting my calories on snacks... I'd much rather have a meal!!! Days like today he went in at 6am and won't be home until possibly midnight... his work is working him to death :-(. Friday nights are our date night too, we treat ourselves to pizza and a big salad and watch live PD! I'm so hungry all I had today was a pack of belvita cookies, a plum, a 160 cal protein shake. Does everyone else wait for their spouse for dinner? Or what do you do? I just feel guilty eating without him, dinner is a special time to me because we get to really sit down together and hear about each others day. He wouldn't get mad if I had dinner but it's just not fulfilling to me to eat without him.

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  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 834 Member
    edited June 2018
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    My husband and I have dinner every night together. Often, I will have a small lunch (300-400 cals) so that the rest of my calories can be spent on dinner (I don't eat breakfast). That being said, if my husband has to work super late (like midnight) we do eat separately then. If that happens, and I eat before him, then I'll sit with him when he gets home. So we get our "dinner time" but I don't have to wait that long to eat.

    When we eat together, I will make sure to eat a smaller portion of whatever we're having. Whether that means requesting a healthy/low-cal option if we go out or making sure that what I portion out for myself fits into my dinner calories. My husband understands and is supportive. If I need a low-cal place to eat, that's where we go. If I am flush with calories, then we pick places that work with that too!

    Weekends, I specifically build a higher calorie target to allow for dinners out and such.

    I would just have a dialogue with your husband. Explain your goals and what you want to do and I'm sure he'll understand! I totally eat pizza but keep it to 2-3 slices to fit my calorie limitations.
  • FL_Hiker
    FL_Hiker Posts: 919 Member
    edited June 2018
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    Thanks dhiammarath, it just makes me so sad to eat without him... it's awful too because he comes home every night at a different time and he doesn't know the time he might be able to leave. So I could eat dinner now and then he'll call in 5 minutes saying he's on his way home argggh!!! :-( . I ate really light today too so I could fit pizza into my calorie budget.. so I'm just super hungry...
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    I understand that you are married, but it is ok to eat when you are hungry.

    All that stuff about 'intuitive eating' is intended to get you responding to your body's needs for nourishment when they occur.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
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    Have you tried waiting to eat until later in the day? I find not eating in the AM is easier to get through than not eating in the late afternoon or early evening.

    Also, the three things you ate aren't typically filling things. Try using your previous logged days and figure out what lower cal foods fill you up. I might have a big plate of raw veggies and some dip, or greek yogurt and oats. But it will be different for everyone.

    Finally, just because you are enjoying a meal with your hubby doesn't mean you have to eat a ton of cals. And make sure your cals aren't set too low in the first place. You shouldn't have to starve all day for a nice sized dinner!
  • fuzzy_l0gic
    fuzzy_l0gic Posts: 69 Member
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    I wait for my wife on the nights she works out. I survive this by having my dessert smoothie (protein powder, fruit, milk) before dinner so I don’t overeat during the meal because I’ve decided to eat 4 hours later than normal
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    I eat with my husband most nights, but both is us will eat when we heed to if the other is delayed. It doesn't mean we can't talk when the other one comes home and eats. Save a few calories to have a snack while he eats dinner. I don't know what there is to feel guilty about.
  • Avidkeo
    Avidkeo Posts: 3,190 Member
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    I like to eat with my husband but would not wait later than about 7pm. I think in situations like this you need some common sense. Waiting till midnight is ridiculous
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I do and I don't.
    I have considered dh's schedule and chosen a time he should be able to have dinner with us most days. Currently I make dinner for 6 PM every day. If dh is late, dd and I go ahead and eat at the set time and he eats when he gets home.
    We only eat out for lunch on Sunday and do that as a family.

    When my dh worked full time and had night classes I would wait until 8 PM to eat dinner with him. I would generally have a snack around 4-5. I ate a normal breakfast and lunch. If I was really hungry before 8 then I might eat dinner earlier but still sit with him and chat while he ate. I would not wait until midnight to eat. If he was going to be that late I would have packed him food or expected him to eat somewhere before coming home. We don't have to be eating to talk.

    Something like soup was good for those late days because it could be kept warm or reheat well. The slow cooker was useful.

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