Concerned about looking even worse after weight loss

Greentrees123
Greentrees123 Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm 38 years old and just restarting my weight loss journey after an injury. I have a ways to go, about 150 lbs and I'm starting to get concerned about not just loose skin but looking really old and considerably worse than I do now.. I hadn't considered this possibility until a friend mentioned it. Is it worth it if I'm just going to hate what I see more than I already do? Am I being ridiculous? Has anyone else gone through this?

Replies

  • smcgrath45
    smcgrath45 Posts: 23 Member
    There are solutions to any problem. If you end up with loose skin, you can easily get a tuck. As far as looking old, it is true that loosing too much fat will fat you, excess cardio and starvation is a no no. However losing the weight will also probably save your life. 38 is pretty young. As a 45 year old woman I would suggest you incorporate a skin care routine into your life, something you like, anti-aging, and while you are dieting, make sure to eat healthy fats as part of your diet. Almonds, avocado, salmon, etc.
    Don't listen to anyone discouraging you.
  • Greentrees123
    Greentrees123 Posts: 6 Member
    You guys have made feel better
  • Greentrees123
    Greentrees123 Posts: 6 Member
    I don't know where the rest of my comment went, but the short of it is I want to thank you guys, there's so much I don't know about weight loss and it's good to talk to people who have or are going through it
  • lorib642
    lorib642 Posts: 1,942 Member
    I read through the success stories and am amazed at the transformations.

    You are doing a good thing. Sorry your friend made you question it.
  • Greentrees123
    Greentrees123 Posts: 6 Member
    @100-my friend is kind of caustic, supportive is not in his nature. I'm insecure enough to let it worry me. But you are right, it's absurd to let him stop me. He doesn't have to live in this body. And you're also right that I should focus on the health aspect, and it is the most important reason to lose weight fo sure. But there's the vain side of me that wants to not be grossed out by what I see in the mirror or embarrassed to go places.
    I was looking into trying to gain muscle and lose weight at the same time which would mean lower calorie intake but not drastically low + higher protein intake.
  • Greentrees123
    Greentrees123 Posts: 6 Member
    @lori, thank you
  • qweck3
    qweck3 Posts: 346 Member
    You need a reset of your mindset as well. Look at it as a benefit to your health. You could be seriously extending your life with less pressure on your heart and more blood sugar control etc. Who knows until you try: You might lose the weight and have nothing to worry about. Everyone's body is different. If you have left over skin you can see a trainer to help with a plan to tighten up or even go to a doctor and get a tuck. The main thing is getting started.
  • qweck3
    qweck3 Posts: 346 Member
    Greentrees123 wrote: »
    @100-my friend is kind of caustic, supportive is not in his nature. I'm insecure enough to let it worry me. But you are right, it's absurd to let him stop me. He doesn't have to live in this body. And you're also right that I should focus on the health aspect, and it is the most important reason to lose weight fo sure. But there's the vain side of me that wants to not be grossed out by what I see in the mirror or embarrassed to go places.
    I was looking into trying to gain muscle and lose weight at the same time which would mean lower calorie intake but not drastically low + higher protein intake.


    If you can swing it financially I'd really suggest you get started with a good Personal Trainer. The boutique one-on-one HIIT training place are usually pretty affordable for shorter workouts. On days off you could easily walk/run on your own. A good trainer will not only listen to your needs and help develop a plan for you but they will also motivate, check-in, keep you accountable and be a person that will build you up. PT are really undervalued at times. I'm really glad I met mine.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    If you are very overweight you could be shortening your life, increasing your risk of expensive and painful health conditions, reducing your quality of life. Is it worth it to not get to a healthy weight? Is appearance more important than that?

    You are going to look different as you lose weight but you will still be you. If you lose at a safe slower rate with a reasonable goal weight you will probably not look older and terrible. Most people I think look older and more tired when they are very overweight.

    I'm not sure why your friend said that to you but it was pretty unfriendly and unsupportive.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Even if you end up not liking the way you look, what sounds better to you: not liking the way you look, possibly developing weight related illnesses and complications, not being able to do the things you like, getting tired easily, living with avoidable aches and pains...etc, or not liking the way you look but being constantly amazed by what your body can do and how many more opportunities you have to enjoy life?
  • Wendyanneroberts
    Wendyanneroberts Posts: 270 Member
    I have lost weight mainly because of my health. I was diagnosed with a heart condition and wanted to do all I can to live a long healthy lifestyle. While being slimmer is a great bonus, it wasn't my focus. I have lost 52lb, in a slow and steady manner and I'm adjusting to maintenance now.

    Because of a physical disability, I lost the weight through diet alone. I to was concerned about "loose skin" at the beginning. But wise people made me realise that even if I had lose skin, I would be alive and healthy and what was more important?They were right!

    Although I do not actually have lose skin anyway. So worry was for nothing.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    edited June 2018
    First, if you're typing on you phone and using emojis, it will cut off from that point on. You have to use the forum smileys :)

    Second, I am also 38. I didn't have as much to lose total (45 pounds, of which I've lost 34) but I'll echo what the others have said. My health is worth a bit of loose skin or winkles. Hell, wrinkles are going to happen anyway if I'm fortunate enough to get old. Might as well embrace them. I do have a skincare routine I really like. Took some time and spent some money to find the right products for me, but it's worth it. Nothing miraculous, but it never hurts to take care of your skin. And like the old song from our era says, use sunscreen ;)

    Read over some of the success stories. Plenty of ladies here in their 40s, 50s, and 60s have lost significant weight. Every time, without question in my mind, they look radiant and a hundred times healthier and happier afterward!
  • lucerorojo
    lucerorojo Posts: 790 Member
    I have lost 50 lbs. so far and have 50 more to go. BTW I'm 52 years old. So far I have no lose skin and no additional wrinkles. Maybe I'll get some once I lose the next 50 lbs. At 38 I surely wouldn't worry about it. Despite what a few others have said, 38 is NOT old. Definitely, I think that late 30s and 40s were the prime of MY life! I do feel like I can't do as much at age 50 as I could in my 20s, but I did not feel that way in my 40s.
  • GOT_Obsessed
    GOT_Obsessed Posts: 817 Member
    I hope this friend was not saying these things out of insecurity or jealousy. You don't need his support but it can be a nice thing to have.

    Take a scroll through some of the success stories. Many people have posted before and after pictures. Most people look so much younger after weight loss, not older.

    Please ignore his comments.
  • Paultb
    Paultb Posts: 6 Member
    It seems like the first pounds I lose come from places that actually leave me looking worse.
    IOW my belly seems more distended, etc.
    But that was only the first weight to come off. Later it looked much better as the body adjusts to losing weight.
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Greentrees123 wrote: »
    I'm 38 years old and just restarting my weight loss journey after an injury. I have a ways to go, about 150 lbs and I'm starting to get concerned about not just loose skin but looking really old and considerably worse than I do now.. I hadn't considered this possibility until a friend mentioned it. Is it worth it if I'm just going to hate what I see more than I already do? Am I being ridiculous? Has anyone else gone through this?

    I'm 41 and lost 175lbs so far. Went down 170lbs over two years then took a year off to do a slow recomp. Saggy skin happens, but, over time a lot of the excess will shrink. It just takes a lot longer than losing weight. The horrible truth is that you will look worse before you look better, oh yeah. But, over time a lot of the saggy skin will go away. I no longer have bat wings nor a turkey neck. My stomach skin shrank a lot, but after severe obesity and children (strength marks and a LOT of loose skin), only about 1/2 of it went away. Just work on losing the weight and getting closer to your ideal. Incorporate strength training & cardio, and be patient.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I am in my fifties and I am not going to assault you with my before and afters. I’ve got wattles. I’ve got surplus skin i tuck in. I still look younger and healthier than I have looked in a decade. Besides, I’ve got a new spring in my step now that I’m not carrying around so many surplus pounds.

    Lose the weight. The pluses are all worth it.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,782 Member
    At 53yo, I lost 50+ lbs and now look 10-15 years younger, so I'm told.
  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    Greentrees123 wrote: »
    @100-my friend is kind of caustic, supportive is not in his nature. I'm insecure enough to let it worry me. But you are right, it's absurd to let him stop me. He doesn't have to live in this body. And you're also right that I should focus on the health aspect, and it is the most important reason to lose weight fo sure. But there's the vain side of me that wants to not be grossed out by what I see in the mirror or embarrassed to go places.
    I was looking into trying to gain muscle and lose weight at the same time which would mean lower calorie intake but not drastically low + higher protein intake.

    You'll be fine. Don't let the what ifs worry you. Go have a look at the success stories. You'll see many people who had a lot to lose who now look fantastic. I'm a little older than you but I promise you that it's doable and you'll feel much better after getting healthy.
    Eat enough protein to help offset muscle loss and don't run a huge deficit. Keep hydrated. Try to look into a beginners lifting program, you'll thank yourself later on if you start lifting now.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,068 Member
    I lost 50+ pounds at age 59-60. For my own tastes, I looked worst part way through. There was an unfortunate stage where I still had fat, but instead of it being somewhat firm, it was squishy/floppy, conspiring with gravity to keep my skin stretched out and kind of hang-y. Not a good look. By goal weight, most of the squishy fat was gone, but my face/neck looked a little gaunt or drawn, and I still had loose skin. Over a couple of months or so, probably because of glycogen replenishment or something, my face/neck started looking more normal/healthy, and the loose skin kept shrinking into at least my 2nd year of maintenance, even at my age. At this point, I don't think I look materially different from a li'l ol' lady who's always been this weight.

    I admit, I lost less weight that you will, but you're also much younger. I think you have excellent odds for results that are much better than you think . . . and very, very much better than your friend thinks.

    My point is, you won't really know what your results will be until you get to goal weight, and give it some time beyond, so don't stress too much about it along the way. You will look better overall, for sure.

    I agree with others that most people look younger. In these threads (links below), 3rd parties mention this over and over in commenting on people's before and after pictures. I think if you take a look, you'll be heartened:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1167854/photo-only-success-stories
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10207059/before-and-after-face-edition
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited June 2018
    I don't believe in dieting or dropping it like it's hot. Think gentle changes for the permanent win. I released 100 lbs. over the course of 2 years. I started in 2014.

    Pain is the precursor to change.

    When the pain intensifies and it does, painful knees, feet, back, shoulders, joints and the signs of T2 - diabetes - start knocking at your door, you'll want change and you may be tempted to go at it fast. Rapid weight loss gimmicks, powders, food group elimination diets disguised as 'this is not a diet' but they are a very much a diet just wrapped up with more slick marketing tricks. All of these are a mind and body warp.

    All of these diets are a total disconnect for the brain.

    There are a million weight loss books and eating protocols out there. Every single one of them promises you the miracle cure. Remember: Just because someone rephrases all of the old dieting terms with new words, it's still walking and quacking like a diet.

    Doing things you don't want to do all in the name of weight loss is the recipe for eating it all back.

    What your friend wants and thinks is immaterial at this point. Not everyone has our best interest at heart. Know that going in and all through the process. What do you want today and going forward for the rest of your life.

    If you want it...let nothing deter you. Let them eat your dust.
  • kdbulger
    kdbulger Posts: 396 Member
    I would rather be able to run like I can now, shop in any store I wish, keep up with my kids, be able to jump up and go without pain or aches, etc than look a little less wrinkly. What is the point of looking young if I can't *do* anything because of my weight? You lose weight but gain a life!

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