Anyone have saboteur’s at home?
robinbrooksparker
Posts: 20 Member
My husband knows how hard I have worked to lose weight and get in shape. Why does he continually bring home pie, cake, ice cream and cookies? At first I thought by sheer willpower I could just not eat those things but I start craving them. Even though I know they are bad and certainly not FOOD. It’s easy to get over a craving when you have to get in the car and go get it. Or even ordering a pizza. But when it’s right there...in my kitchen.
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I have a male partner and three children. Every single one of them is supportive. They can bring whatever food they wish into the house, and I don't mind at all. I'm on the program, not them. I'm the one responsible for sticking with it.
I wouldn't view the food as 'bad', perhaps just not ideal on a regular basis. But, if something he brings home really takes your fancy, see if there is a way you can work it into your allowance. Obviously, you won't be able to do that with everything.
To be honest, I think I'll be more worried about saboteurs when I end up in a social setting, which hasn't happened just yet. I find that a little more unpredictable.6 -
People are strange. Maybe not assume malice first. Maybe he wants to show that he loves you, and those things are something you've always eaten and enjoyed? Have you told him that constantly being tempted, makes it hard for you to stick to your plan? And of course, is your plan to never eat pie, cake, ice cream and cookies again? Ask yourself, if calling it bad, and not food, and the prospect of never eating them again, actually could be contributing to your cravings?11
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Have you talked with him about it? Asked him to support you in your weight loss?
An honest conversation saying, "Honey, I'm trying hard to lose weight and I'm struggling. It's very hard for me to moderate (whatever type of food). Can you think of a way that will help me?" Let him come up with a solution (that hopefully works for both of you). People will commit better to their own idea, rather than someone else's.
Side note: Pie, cake, ice cream and cookies certainly ARE food. They are a more caloric food, but they are food. And if you can moderate them, you can have some as long as they fit in your daily calorie goal.8 -
Why are those foods bad? I fit in some form of dessert, usually ice cream, nearly every night. It's just one portion, weighed out to fit my calories.4
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Yeah the wife still does that to me. I just try to ignore it as much as possible and concentrate on my own path. I will try to find something that fits within my program that I eat and curb those cravings. Sometimes a low carb protein shake or protein bar will satisfy. It's difficult needless to say. Learned a hard lesson this last weekend and had a very small portion of lasagna my wife baked, it did not settle with me for almost 24 hours and while it tasted great it was a reminder that I just can't do those types of carbs anymore. I will admit I sometimes give in to temptation but then get back on plan the next day or even next meal. It's just getting back on plan that is the most important part or it's way to easy to fall back into old bad eating habits.2
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Fit it in according to weight....measurement....calories. your frame of reference is DENIAL. Not a success bound place to be in.
Keep what is not finished in back of fridge and cupboard. After a few days throw it away!
If you demonstrate you don't loooove the stuff he brings home or smash it beyond recognition with the back of a fry pan.....he will stop bringing it home.4 -
My husband just yesterday suggested we buy chocolate chip cookies stuff and make some... I feel you however, feeling as though he is doing it on purpose remember you have loved these things and probably him too. Having it is not awful just remember moderation is always key. When mine brings home stuff like this I usually have a bite when I am craving it but make myself walk away and get the kids to eat it up or let him get what he wants and throw out the rest.2
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kommodevaran wrote: »Maybe not assume malice first. Maybe he wants to show that he loves you, and those things are something you've always eaten and enjoyed?
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Have you talked with him about it? Asked him to support you in your weight loss?
An honest conversation saying, "Honey, I'm trying hard to lose weight and I'm struggling. It's very hard for me to moderate (whatever type of food). Can you think of a way that will help me?" Let him come up with a solution (that hopefully works for both of you). People will commit better to their own idea, rather than someone else's.
Side note: Pie, cake, ice cream and cookies certainly ARE food. They are a more caloric food, but they are food. And if you can moderate them, you can have some as long as they fit in your daily calorie goal.
reading back my original post and have to apologize. It’s me that’s trying to change me. Everyone else should be free to do what they want. I need to be accountable for food I put in my mouth. I think I’m mad at myself for not being able to control myself when this stuff is easily accessible. Damn the Publix cakes!!!
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Know you have had a change of heart, but it can still be super difficult to resist "goodies" that are RIGHT THERE!
My husband & I are now on different routes with regards to weight. He had a lot less to lose than me & now he's actually having to have lots of lovely cakes, crisps & biccies to keep his calorie count up(He just kept losing weight eating more of what he's usually eats & he doesn't want/need that). Meanwhile I've at least 30lbs left to lose!
As a result, there are ALWAYS treats around...always always! At first it was really difficult to stick with my 70 calorie oat bar while he tucked into a 300cal apple pie or something!
Time has helped an awful lot but initially, I had a bit of what I fancied within my calorie range...even so far as just to have a bite of whatever he was having, 50cals or so. It was a taste & it was enough. Today if I REALLY fancy something he has in the house, I will factor myself in a full portion...but it's surprising how little that happens, quite amazing how much I've come to favour my carefully honed substitutes!
Be kind to yourself, have a wee bit of what you fancy....even if it really IS just a wee bit!
Best luck!
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I think what originally got me was my husband wanting to go kayaking for Father’s Day and then saying I had earned the cake and ice cream. Only he had bought a whole cake and a gallon on ice cream. Neither are gone yet. It’s just sitting in the fridge mocking me!!!0
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robinbrooksparker wrote: »I think what originally got me was my husband wanting to go kayaking for Father’s Day and then saying I had earned the cake and ice cream. Only he had bought a whole cake and a gallon on ice cream. Neither are gone yet. It’s just sitting in the fridge mocking me!!!
We had ribs, potato salad, corn on the cob, pie and ice cream for Father's Day. It was delicious. It was one day and we celebrated without tracking.
We also only bought half a pie, so it was gone that day. We always have ice cream in the house, and I have some pretty much every night within my calorie allowance.
The best thing you can do with this situation is learn from it, and do it differently next time. However that would work best for you. Get dessert at a restaurant so there's no leftovers. Get something he loves but you don't. Don't get anything. Live and learn!1
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