What does "support" mean to you?
147Me
Posts: 25 Member
I see a lot of people here making requests for "support" and I suppose I don't really understand what they mean by that.
A while back, I tried to connect with someone who wanted "support" in their weight loss efforts.
Unfortunately, it felt more like they wanted me to take responsibility for their weight loss.
Now, I'm not sure what to expect from anyone else who says they want "support".
Was I just unlucky, or is this to be expected?
I want to help and contribute, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
A while back, I tried to connect with someone who wanted "support" in their weight loss efforts.
Unfortunately, it felt more like they wanted me to take responsibility for their weight loss.
Now, I'm not sure what to expect from anyone else who says they want "support".
Was I just unlucky, or is this to be expected?
I want to help and contribute, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
1
Replies
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I think you support people best by your own actions. Maybe if you're motivated, it'll help them stay motivated. You can't take responsibility for anyone else's weight loss though. All of that has to come from them.2
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For me at least it means someone to talk to about the daily process who won't get bored because they are on the same journey.2
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For me it means to give ideas to help me along the way. I don’t want a buddy to be my accountability person - that’s my job. But when I’m flagging, having a hard time... I want people to say - you got this. And “I tried this... maybe it will help.” And when I share success, I want people to shout from the rooftops with me.0
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Support to me is messaging the person every day and checking on them with a statement of encouragement. Also when they mess up to guide them back to the diet program0
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Support can mean many things. Personally the best way I believe I support someone is to inform them correctly. So many do unnecessary things for weight loss (gimmicks, scams)and end up spending money and time that they didn't need to. The more correct information they have, the likelihood of reaching their goal if they apply it correctly.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Support = being able to listen.3
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I see a lot of people here making requests for "support" and I suppose I don't really understand what they mean by that.
A while back, I tried to connect with someone who wanted "support" in their weight loss efforts.
Unfortunately, it felt more like they wanted me to take responsibility for their weight loss.
Now, I'm not sure what to expect from anyone else who says they want "support".
Was I just unlucky, or is this to be expected?
I want to help and contribute, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
I quite often friend people who post that they are looking for pals on the forums... and then they never post or comment or interact at all. I have no idea what they want in the way of support!2 -
I don't know what others want, but I've got enough going on without having to be the cheer leading section for everyone under the sun. I keep my friends list small, and I am always happy to share a few messages back and forth with any of them. But I'm not going to hunt them (or anyone else) down. If you're feeling down and need support, I'm happy to listen. If you are having a difficult time with your goals and want some support, I'm happy to do that as well. But people need to ask. I'm not a mind reader. I can't tell if you're struggling, unless you say so. I'm pretty much the same way. Unless I say I'm having a hard time and need some TLC, I don't expect anyone to know, and I don't expect them to message me regularly to check on me. I really don't get the "you must constantly feed my need for attention" that some people seem to have. It's the internet, it's not that serious. Maybe I'm just a cranky old lady, but my friends seem to like me well enough.5
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When you've got people on your FL for awhile, you slowly get to know them. Somedays they'll write that things aren't going well or they'll have a success and want to share it. I try to comment on those days to give them a boost. It doesn't cost me anything and it helps people. That's what I do for support. On a normal day, I don't comment, nor do I go looking at their diaries--unless asked. If anyone thinks I can help them--such as a trip to Rome, asking for info--I'm pleased to help. Just PM me. I always do what I can.3
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TavistockToad wrote: »
I quite often friend people who post that they are looking for pals on the forums
Ms Toad above is what I would call an ideal support friend. As much as I love the booyahs and awesomes and well done’s for my tears and sweat .... it’s the valuable, one liners and simple questions posed that make me realise I should eat more, I should rest more, I should stress and panic less ... and eating a snickers bar won’t end my world.
The best support also comes from friending people that are at a similar place to you, you walk that road together
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TavistockToad wrote: »
I quite often friend people who post that they are looking for pals on the forums
Ms Toad above is what I would call an ideal support friend. As much as I love the booyahs and awesomes and well done’s for my tears and sweat .... it’s the valuable, one liners and simple questions posed that make me realise I should eat more, I should rest more, I should stress and panic less ... and eating a snickers bar won’t end my world.
The best support also comes from friending people that are at a similar place to you, you walk that road together
awww, you're too kind! :flowerforyou:1 -
It's someone else also working to lose weight that I can talk to0
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I feel supported by seeing people posting about the same highs and lows that I am experiencing, it's reassuring that I'm no different to anyone else. You can't share these things with family and friend as they really have no idea what you're going through so when someone posts that they've put 4lb on overnight and everyone says it's probably water I don't panic when it happens to me. Likewise if anyone is struggling and needs motivation I'm happy to step up and offer it, and when they've got to one of their goals I'm in there with a whoop.0
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TavistockToad wrote: »
I quite often friend people who post that they are looking for pals on the forums
Ms Toad above is what I would call an ideal support friend. As much as I love the booyahs and awesomes and well done’s for my tears and sweat .... it’s the valuable, one liners and simple questions posed that make me realise I should eat more, I should rest more, I should stress and panic less ... and eating a snickers bar won’t end my world.
The best support also comes from friending people that are at a similar place to you, you walk that road together
I second this, support is not just about cheerleading, but also about calling out the BS and a verbal kick up the *kitten* from time-to-time, particularly if there is under-eating or over-exercising. Sometimes it's just being reminded to see the bigger picture is all that is needed. I don't need someone holding my hand per se, but it's nice to have people who have similar goals or who have already achieved them to inspire you along the way.
Ultimately the choice about what goes in my mouth is mine alone, I wouldn't expect someone to be slapping my hand away either in real life or online.
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For me, it means keeping me accountable, giving me tips, and being brutally honest with me. It does not mean taking responsibility for my journey.0
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These answers are great! Thank you for the response.
After reading them all, I think I might have been on the right track before, in assuming that "support" meant being able to discuss the process of change with someone who is similar or has a similar approach to physical improvement.
Yet, some have mentioned that they believe "support" is about holding them accountable; some say they only need someone to 'listen' to them; and others want support in the form of helpful tips...
It really does seem like there's quite a bit of variation in expectations!
This might have been where I went wrong before; I wasn't specific enough about the kind of support I was willing to give or receive.
Thanks for the input, everyone!1 -
For me, it would be someone (or several people) who was willing to talk and answer any questions I may have. Someone who makes me feel welcomed into the community and someone whom I am able to support, equally and over a long period of time as opposed to just a novelty support if that makes sense.0
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For me, it’s knowing they’re there, getting a regular like or ”great job” does wonders when you’re powering through a difficult week. I have a larger calorie goal than most of my friends, that doesn’t matter. I found a guy who was bulking very supportive, the only thing our goals had in common was that he wanted to be heavier than me and I wanted to be lighter than him. Often the support I need is simple encouragement and reminding me about the ”gospel truths” of weight loss when I’m frustrated: weight loss isn’t linear, slow and steady wins the race, CICO is what matters etc. The things you know but don’t always feel, and just need someone to remind you about. My friends are great at reinforcing positive habits and actions.1
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Support:
1. Being able to listen
2. Being understanding when bad days happen
3. Giving honest advise when asked. That includes saying "I don't know", if I don't know.
4. Congratulating on accomplishments.0
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