Losing Control & Feeling Guilty. Need to Get Back on Track

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GeauxL
GeauxL Posts: 57 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I started my weight loss journey a little over a year ago & have lost around 100lbs, I’ve got about 15 more to go. I am very proud of that & did it by eating heathy & exercise. I was really strict for the first 6 months or so, did not cheat or anything. I relaxed a little, a cheat meal/day once a week or 2-3 times a month but that was it & was still losing weight & getting compliments . Over the last 2 months, the weight loss has slowed down to a “drip” & my cheat days have increased to 1 or 2 days of the weekends. I haven’t gained weight in this time but stayed pretty much the same, lost .5lbs over the last month. Lately I feel like I’ve lost control; it’s like once I cheat, I can’t reign it back in & one meal turns into 2 days of falling off the wagon. And when this happens, I just feel like I’m spiraling & just can’t control myself. Then when it’s over, usually Sunday’s is when I jump back on the wagon full force, I feel so much shame & guilt. I’m just scared that I’m going to fall back into my old habits of unhealthy eating & my cheat days will become habit. And I know I feel & look so much better than when I was heavy & I want to continue losing weight but I just don’t know how to regain my mindset of success & it scares me. I don’t want to fall back into unhealthy eating & honestly, even when I do cheat, it isn’t “satisfying” anymore. It’s like I’m doing it & not even enjoying what I’m eating & I know I shouldn’t be doing it.
I guess what I’m asking is, has anyone else fallen into this pattern? If so, how did you rebound? What did you do to get back on track? Is this “normal” with people who’ve lost a lot of weight & been dieting a long time? Thanks.

Replies

  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
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    I find that on my weigh-in day, I tend to go off the rails a bit afterwards. Like I've got a week to work it off and I just want to eat all the things.

    Fortunately, the going off the rails happens at home, where I don't have a lot of high-calorie snacks anymore. So it's more, making a couple of PB&J sandwiches, maybe scarfing down multiple Fiber One bars or frozen Greek yogurt treats...

    I'm debating whether to do a 2-week diet break, where I eat at maintenance. Maybe that'll be enough to get me back on track. Or maybe, since I am still losing, I'm okay as I am. Probably do a diet break anyway; I haven't taken one in a while.

    I've dropped 105 lbs in 19 months, btw and I'm about 18 from goal.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,565 Member
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    Sounds like a good time for a diet break. https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10604863/of-refeeds-and-diet-breaks
  • layladrew26
    layladrew26 Posts: 111 Member
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    You should never feel guilty about eating food. It's something we all have to do to survive. You say your cheating. I used to think having a weekly takeaway was cheating but since I've developed a healthy relationship with food I've realised I can enjoy any food I like as long as it fits my calorie allowance and if I go over calories it doesn't matter as long as the weekly calories balance out. You have done amazingly well btw to lose 100lb, well done.
  • swimmchick87
    swimmchick87 Posts: 458 Member
    edited June 2018
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    I have always followed this pattern, and eventually end up regaining. I have finally figured out that for me, when the weight is significantly impacting my life, I'm really motivated to lose and can follow my plan a lot more easily. What I mean is, when I'm getting winded just walking around, when there is absolutely no clothing style that's flattering, when I feel uncomfortable all of the time, have to say no to activities due to my size/fitness level, etc. I'm motivated. When I lose a good amount and am at a weight I'm more comfortable with (even if it's still technically overweight), such as one where I can complete workouts and feel like I'm in decent shape, can participate in anything, feel good in certain clothing styles, etc. I'm not as motivated because it's harder to justify turning down the good food, drinks, etc.

    For me this "more comfortable" weight is around 160 pounds, even though BMI wise that's still overweight for me, so I feel like I can't just stop losing. So I end up still trying to lose, but cheating/going off the wagon more and more and saying "just one more day won't hurt..." when obviously those days really add up! My plan this time when I get to that weight is to change my mfp settings to lose .5 pounds per week. Hopefully getting more calories and having more flexibility with my plan will help me stay on track, and since I'm at my "more comfortable weight" it's not really that big of a deal if I only lose 2 pounds per month. If even that seems too hard, I plan to set at maintenance for however long it takes for me to be ready to start losing again. Even staying at 160 would be a heck of a lot better than my weight now (almost 200) or the constant yo-yo I've been doing, and by now I recognize that when I get there my focus need to be 100% on continuing to weigh in and continuing to log (I go way off the rails when I stop weighing) to avoid regaining rather than focusing on losing. Maybe you could consider doing something similar?
  • mark0664
    mark0664 Posts: 1 Member
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    OK...First things first...you have lost 100lbs. That is awesome. You should be feeling pride not guilt! You are amazing.
    In answer to your question, has anyone else fallen into this pattern...the answer is pretty much everyone who has ever lost weight. It is totally normal. It is inevitable. And there's nothing wrong with it. In fact it may be good for your body just to pause after such an extensive period of loss. Embrace it. Be happy so long as you maintain the gains you have made and don't start going too far the other way.
    What I would recommend is a mindset shift. Stop thinking about and talking about "cheat" days. Call them "treat" days. You have done an amazing thing, and you deserve to treat yourself occasionally. If you can do this, you will reward yourself for your efforts and then feel more empowered to get back with the programme...Don't wait until you crack and then feel guilty...go out there and treat yourself. Say, yeah...I have done something amazing...I deserve this little reward, and then go for it again.
    Obviously you need to be sensible with treats...but as the comment above rightly says...just keep it within the weekly balance - don't worry about one day or even two.
    A final thing...I don't know what exercise you do...but do try and add in a bit of strength training, as well as cardio. It will boost your metabolism and help kick-start that last 15lbs.
  • natfinn1
    natfinn1 Posts: 1 Member
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    Don't worry too much! You're doing great and I agree with what others have said about not beating yourself up. Guilt is a worthless emotion - it never helps you make better choices because when you feel bad about yourself, it's harder to move forward. I've been practising learning to recognise that negative self-talk and just choosing to reject that voice.
    In terms of learning to control yourself - I haven't mastered it yet. I've been working hard on is finding things that aren't food that I can use as rewards. For such a long time I've equated celebration and comfort with food, and eating is always my default response if I want to feel good. I definitely don't have the answer, but I've had small successes treating myself with other things. I've been trying to buy food that I like that I can gorge on with much less guilt like summer fruit, olives, guacamole and hummus, but I'd be lying if I said that satisfied me all the time.
    Yesterday I had to do two back-to-back classes at the gym to burn off the excess calories from a chocolate bar and a few slices of pizza I ate for lunch instead of the tuna salad I had waiting for me at home! I think ultimately, I know for my health I need to reign it in, but for now I think as long as I'm staying within my calorie allowance I can afford treats and can just focus on losing weight. I'm hoping that as I get better at eating better, my addiction to sugar and salty, high-fat foods will be curbed and it will get easier.
  • GeauxL
    GeauxL Posts: 57 Member
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    Thanks for all the encouragement & for helping me put into perspective that I’m not out here on an island doing bad things that no one else has ever done-it helps to remember everyone struggles.
    Mark 0664, over the last 5 months the I’ve added strength training (kettlebells & resistance machines) to my cardio, I’ve even upped my cardio routine. It’s the mental part that’s the hardest.
  • snickerscharlie
    snickerscharlie Posts: 8,578 Member
    edited June 2018
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    GeauxL wrote: »
    Thanks for all the encouragement & for helping me put into perspective that I’m not out here on an island doing bad things that no one else has ever done-it helps to remember everyone struggles.
    Mark 0664, over the last 5 months the I’ve added strength training (kettlebells & resistance machines) to my cardio, I’ve even upped my cardio routine. It’s the mental part that’s the hardest.

    The mental part is always the hardest!

    When you do fall off the wagon for a day or two, log everything you ate honestly and completely, learn from it and move on.

    You should be very pleased with the weight loss you've already achieved. You've got this!

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