Cannot stick to it!

kjoh12 · June 2018

Hi!
I'm in a rut and never imagined that battling my weight would ever be an issue for me. I have always been very petite. The past few years I have had major life stressors and in the past year have put on 30 lbs. I start and stop MFP within a week, two at the most. I cannot get myself motivated when the progress is so slow that I start to tell myself that I would rather gain a pound slowly then lose a pound slowly (crazy I know!), or tell myself that counting calories is no way to live. How do I keep at this, when I truly do need to lose weight?

Forever_December · June 2018

There's not magic formula. You have to just do it. Period. Eat smart, you don't have to count calories if it seems like a chore but keep in mind what you're eating. Nothing really more to it. You just have to do it. You either want it or you don't.

100_PROOF_ · June 2018

For years and years I thought about losing weight but couldn't muster up the motivation to actually do anything about it. I hated the way I looked but couldn't stick with it.
When I was finally truly ready to make the change, I did.
It won't work until you really truly want it. If you really want it than you will work for it. Nobody can do this for you, you gotta want it. You have to want it so badly that nothing will stop you. Once your ready it'll finally happen for you
It's okay that you are not truly ready to put forth the effort right now. I wasn't ready for years. But when I was, there was nothing that could stop me.
This is something you must work for. You must know that you're worth it. You must have the burning desire within yourself to make the necessary changes. Until then you'll just continue to spin your wheels.

kjoh12 · June 2018

I’m going to have to re-read this a few times and let it really sink in. I do deserve this, to focus on my health and mental health. Thanks 100_proof_

rolandmuts · June 2018

I've only started two weeks ago. Doc told me i needed to lose weight, otherwise I need to go on pills and other stuff. Don't like that idea. So, here I am. Sure, i had to go over a hump or two. About not being able to eat what i like, drink what i like. But i did spend time to search on what i am allowed to eat.

I see this as a game. You have very few rules (x number of calories, split up into carbs, fat, protein and sodium), what can you find to stay within those boundaries but is amazing to eat.

Try, but perhaps don't try too hard at the beginning to match all four categories, but i think you can compensate higher sodium with drinking more water. More protein will make you feel less hungry.

Tilapia seems to be a sweet spot for me. Egg whites in the microwave in the morning, with a cup of coffee. Things like that, i would normally not consider eating (that often).

Try to get a regularity into your diet. Really try and get the 4 meals idea straight from the beginning. Try to spread out the calorie intake throughout the day, without big spikes.

Block off a couple of regular spots in your day to do some exercise. My doc said that even brisk walking will help to hit the 10,000 steps.

If you start with that, getting in some exercise, feeling less hungry during a diet, perhaps this will make it easier to stick to different foods.

I noticed as well - it's so easy and convenient to grab something processed. It takes a little longer to prepare your own food. But then you know what's in it. That is for me part of the fun as well.

Diatonic12 · June 2018

Nip it in the bud now before it becomes a real hardship. Our friends and family don't have the heart or know how to take us aside and give us a wake up call. All of the planning and learning and introspecting and studying the in world means nothing if you don't go do something.

So go do something. There's only choices and consequences. Choose and set your will to follow through this time. Don't let the brain talk you out of it. The brain doesn't care if we ever follow through with anything. Have you ever thought about what causes you to leap out of bed in the morning and make it to work on time.

We are 100% accountable to ourselves when we know we have to show up for the boss. It pays the bills.

Show up for yourself, your quality of health will help you pay the bills for the rest of your life. Reframe it.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt · June 2018

@kjoh12 What aspect are finding hard to stick to? How many calories are you aiming for? Many newbies will enter their stats in the beginning and immediately tell MFP that they want to lose 2 lbs a week. That is a 1,000 calorie deficit per day from your total daily energy expenditure (TDEE, which is the total number of calories you burn in a normal day). Depending on how much weight you have to lose and how active you are, 1,000 calories less than your TDEE may be at or below 1200 calories. This means that if you tell MFP that you want to lose 2 lbs per week, it will automatically spit out a daily goal of 1200 calories, and that's just not sustainable for most people.

If you're willing to share your stats, perhaps we can suggest a more manageable starting point.

kjoh12 · June 2018

I'm currently set to lose a lb a week but perhaps should set that to 1/2 lb. MFP has me eating 1280 cals. I do have a full time desk job and two kids so I admit I'm not very active. I'm 32 years old, currently weighing 158 lbs on my 5'5 frame. While I'm not chubby, I'm certainly getting there, my body looks nothing like it used to a year ago and obviously I have developed an unhealthy relationship with food. I was 128-130 after having my kids before this binge eating/all day eating came into play.

100_PROOF_ · June 2018

kjoh12 wrote: »

I’m going to have to re-read this a few times and let it really sink in. I do deserve this, to focus on my health and mental health. Thanks 100_proof_

You absolutely deserve this.
Here's how it went for me-
For many years I sat around and stewed over my weight. I hated how I looked, I was jealous of other women because they where thin. I knew I needed to lose weight but just couldn't seem to make it click. Until one day when it did. Once I really believed in myself and really desired the change, I did it. I never looked back. I knew I was worth it and you are worth it too. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You deserve to look your best!
Now all you need to do is actually believe it for yourself and believe in yourself. If I can do it, you definitely can. I laid on a couch eating ice cream every night for years wishing I was thin and fit ( I still do lay on a couch and eat ice cream! Lol! But now I eat it in the proper portions) I would give up within a day. So I know exactly how you feel. I have been there myself.
Here's what helped me make the change-
I realized that weight loss came down to calories. There's no need to starve. No need to go low carb or whatever the fad of the week is. Just create a calorie deficit and you'll lose weight.
Calories in calories out.
Then after I that I began to see that I could eat more if I moved more. I exercised to earn extra calories. I knew that as long as I created a calorie deficit that I would still lose weight.
After that I was good to go! It wasn't as hard as I thought. I learned moderation and portion control. Once you learn moderation and portion control your good to go! You have the keys to lasting success.
There's going to be bumps in the road. That's normal. Not everyday will be good. There will be days that you do go over your calories. There will be days that you don't care. Forgive yourself and move on because you are worth it. Nobody is perfect.
You can do this. I promise you that you can. Nothing will stop you Once your truly ready.

DomesticKat · June 2018

Sure, you can gain that one pound, but it probably won't stop at one pound if you keep telling yourself the same excuse. Which means you could put on another 30 pounds in the next year. Or you can take one step at a time to reverse course and put yourself in a far better place a year from now. It's up to you, but you have to be ready to do it. No one else can make the choice for you.

I made the choice to change and commit to losing weight once I was adequately fed up with my choices and where they were leading me. I had to be angry enough in order to refuse to stay the same, because I knew I was capable and deserving of something better. I had to take full responsibility for my actions and stop lying to myself, and then I had to give up fighting the process. It took me almost a decade to really wrap my head around what I needed to do, and that was almost 100 pounds ago. Yep, it's a slow process, and it's something every, single one of us has to resign ourselves to. So you can either stay where you are and possibily continue to gain, or you can reconcile yourself to trusting the process and seeing it through. It's up to you.

DomesticKat · June 2018

And there isn't anything wrong with losing a half pound a week. If it's easier for you to stick to, a half pound a week is better than no weight loss a week. This isn't a race, and it's a good idea to lose more slowly so you can address the issues that got you here and help form better habits. I've been there. My highest weight was somewhere around 220 pounds 9 years ago. I weighed in at 131 pounds this morning and I've lost 63 pounds in a little over a year after having my fifth baby. If I can do it, I know you can do it. Commit to little changes over time that you trust you can stick to. Don't make things harder on yourself than they have to be.

Alyssa_Is_LosingIt · June 2018

kjoh12 wrote: »

I'm currently set to lose a lb a week but perhaps should set that to 1/2 lb. MFP has me eating 1280 cals. I do have a full time desk job and two kids so I admit I'm not very active. I'm 32 years old, currently weighing 158 lbs on my 5'5 frame. While I'm not chubby, I'm certainly getting there, my body looks nothing like it used to a year ago and obviously I have developed an unhealthy relationship with food. I was 128-130 after having my kids before this binge eating/all day eating came into play.

Oh yeah, I totally get that. I think setting your goal to 1/2 lb a week would be your best bet along with trying to find ways to be more active in your free time and find something that you enjoy fitness-wise to work towards. Being more active means you can eat more, which is always good.

Also, take the time to read some of the stickied posts at the top of each of the subforums - there's lots of good info in those.

I'm 31, work 8-5 at a desk job, I have 2 young kids, and I know how hard it can be to make time to focus on yourself and your health goals. It's all about having the right mindset and making your health a priority. Easier said than done, I know.

Just remember that you are important, too, and your kids will benefit from having a healthy and active mom.

You didn't get to where you're at overnight, so you can't expect to get to where you want to be overnight. It may take some time, but that time is going to pass anyway, so you may as well make the best of it. You can either be closer to where you want to be three months from now, or three months from now you can be wishing you had started today.

Good luck!

kjoh12 · June 2018

Thank you everyone. I wasn’t sure what I was asking for but I have received some good tough stuff here to think about.

AnvilHead · June 2018

The bottom line is that only you can make it happen. You're 100% in charge of your own destiny. As I tell myself when I don't feel like going to the gym, "Those weights aren't gonna lift themselves!".

The next year, and the year after that and all the years after that, are going to pass no matter what you do. Would you still rather be where you are a year from now, two years from now, or would you rather be a year or two closer to your goal (or *at* your goal, in that time frame)?

The thing is, patience and perseverance leads to forming good habits, and good habits lead to success. It becomes easier as the things you have to force yourself to do right now that feel so strange, become just "things you do" as part of your daily life. As you gradually (emphasis on gradually) start seeing positive changes, the reinforcement starts to snowball as you realize not only that you really can do this, but that you're actually doing it.

Maybe it doesn't work this way for everybody, but when I see the numbers dropping on the scale/bodyfat calipers, and/or see the changes in my body in the mirror, or in progress pics, I feed off it. Every little victory is part of a much bigger victory, another brick in the wall. The fact that I'm succeeding motivates me to succeed more. It makes me hungry to keep pushing - as I've often said to myself, "I didn't come this far just to come this far!".

neugebauer52 · June 2018

Every person is different - I had to find out what works for me. Having to lose 70 or more kgs, (150 pounds or more) I had (and have) to find a daily meal plan I am comfortable with and I can maintain for a very long time. With my daily meal plan I do not have any urges or cravings; it also means that I have to find my trigger food - food which makes me eat even more. Someone came up with a clever way: write down the 20 or 30 (healthy) food items you really enjoy, you really like and which you could eat every day, every second day or so. Now prepare yourself a daily meal plan around your choices. Check on myfitnesspal calories, macros etc and work from there. I am now 3 months down the line and so far it works for me.

nyponbell · June 2018

I am bookmarking this thread to read again, it is so inspiring and just what I needed to read too.

to everyone.

angelb1983 · June 2018

someone may have said this before. You may have to up your calories, at least that is what helped me. I started researching BMR and TDEE and I learned that I could eat more and still lose. I then bought a fitbit which amazes me how much I can eat and still lose. I have had that same mental battle though and I agree with the person that said nip it now. It is so much harder to lose when it piles on. I would like to lose at least 40 and I fight for every pound then I have a week where I mentally think the way you did and I have gained about 6 pounds back because I fought that 'whats the point, food is comfort' thing and its really even more than that because I feel Ive lost a lot of the muscle I gained so it switched back to fat ugh. Exercise is what helps me because it is a stress reliever and it helps me to eat more calories if I want

ncfitbit · June 2018

Can you find other ways to celebrate progress? Anything you do that makes it easier for you to stick to your calorie goal is worthy of praise so be sure to celebrate those accomplishments and not just the pounds on the scale. You are ahead of the game if you are aware of the thoughts you are having that make things harder for you. Focus on challenging those thoughts and behaviors. When I first started I had trouble logging every single thing I ate and would stick my hand in the sand about how much I was eating at night, but doing so was critical to making any progress. I wish I had focused on motivating myself to do that every single day earlier on.

And If you find that you are having trouble stringing together good days it might be worth putting some effort into finding several go to meals that you really enjoy and work from there. No, really. Food you love! We get into trouble when we try to fly by the seat of our pants and hope it works out at the end of the day. I find if I have planned to eat food I'm looking forward to it makes everything so much easier that day. You deserve to lose this weight and feel good about yourself so its worth it to take the time to plan and shop for food that will help you achieve that. And your kids deserve to have a happy mom so maybe think of all your efforts as serving several worthy goals instead of some dreaded chore. Good luck.

Jackie9003 · June 2018

100_PROOF_ wrote: »

kjoh12 wrote: »

I’m going to have to re-read this a few times and let it really sink in. I do deserve this, to focus on my health and mental health. Thanks 100_proof_

You absolutely deserve this.
Here's how it went for me-
For many years I sat around and stewed over my weight. I hated how I looked, I was jealous of other women because they where thin. I knew I needed to lose weight but just couldn't seem to make it click. Until one day when it did. Once I really believed in myself and really desired the change, I did it. I never looked back. I knew I was worth it and you are worth it too. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You deserve to look your best!
Now all you need to do is actually believe it for yourself and believe in yourself. If I can do it, you definitely can. I laid on a couch eating ice cream every night for years wishing I was thin and fit ( I still do lay on a couch and eat ice cream! Lol! But now I eat it in the proper portions) I would give up within a day. So I know exactly how you feel. I have been there myself.
Here's what helped me make the change-
I realized that weight loss came down to calories. There's no need to starve. No need to go low carb or whatever the fad of the week is. Just create a calorie deficit and you'll lose weight.
Calories in calories out.
Then after I that I began to see that I could eat more if I moved more. I exercised to earn extra calories. I knew that as long as I created a calorie deficit that I would still lose weight.
After that I was good to go! It wasn't as hard as I thought. I learned moderation and portion control. Once you learn moderation and portion control your good to go! You have the keys to lasting success.
There's going to be bumps in the road. That's normal. Not everyday will be good. There will be days that you do go over your calories. There will be days that you don't care. Forgive yourself and move on because you are worth it. Nobody is perfect.
You can do this. I promise you that you can. Nothing will stop you Once your truly ready.

This was absolutely me too until about 18 months ago! I would moan about the fact that I couldn't find anything nice to wear then go home and eat crisps. I convinced myself that I wouldn't be able to lose any weight because I was old (I was 47) and it's a known fact that it's harder for "old" people, and also my hormones must be out of whack because I'm going to be menopausal soon, and I absolutely have no time for any exercise - I thought while sat at my desk job that I drive the 1.5m to...
Then I started trying to moderate what I was eating a little - cut down on the takeaways, no cider or wine by the gallon and tried really hard not to snack. I realised after about a year I'd actually lost 14lb. So I started on here in September 2017 and on a mad impulse joined a fitness class - but my biggest revelation was that I could actually walk to work rather than drive - I had to as the chuffing car broke down lol - and that it only took an extra 10 minutes to walk as I spent most of it in a traffic jam.
Since then I've lost another 26lb and my outlook and attitude to eating is changing.

But my moral to all of this is that I couldn't do it until I was ready mentally - once I realised I COULD do it I really WANTED to do it - and that made all the difference.

Maybe you're not quite there yet either, but read through some of the success stories and imagine that's you, try making little changes that won't feel drastic, aim to go slow and set yourself a target - even if it's to only lose 2lbs in the next month - it's still a loss and when you achieve that you might just get that little buzz that you need.

Best of luck, as 100_proof_ says you can do this and you will when you're ready.

kettiecat · June 2018

Instead of weight loss goals would it help you to set fitness goals?

How often and how long are your breaks from MFP? Would allowing yourself to not track every day but as much as you can or just your weight or just your exercise help keep you mentally in the game? Or maybe no tracking but just a goal to check in everyday? So you stop viewing it as starting over but a slow continuous process.

Is there a racing/biking/orienteering/whatever activity event 3-6 months down the road you could sign up for to motivate you?

Are you willing to make your journey public to friends and family? Posting daily updates and asking others to help you stay on track?

Sharon_C · June 2018

You have to want it more than you don't. I am one pound away from leaving the 170s. My husband took us all to an ice cream parlor last night. I want to see 169 way more than I want to eat ice cream so I declined. You will get there some day.

Side note: 100_PROOF your words of wisdom are remarkable and if that is really your back I am insanely jealous!

Cannot stick to it!

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