Starting Over, Again :/

Is anybody here starting over too? I need a pep talk.

If successful, this will be my third big weight loss, and it will definitely be the biggest. Both times I lost weight before, I eventually gained it back and then some. Even when I created lasting lifestyle changes, I still ended up reverting back to old, bad behaviors. Most of it stems from the moment I decide that I probably don't have to track calories any more, because I know what I'm doing. Haahahaha... The universe thinks otherwise :)

Here was my last weight loss success - almost 20 lbs down that time! Left-after, 124 lbs. Right-before, 143 lbs. That was 5 years ago.

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And here's now - a whopping 170 pounds on a small frame.

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This latest gain is really no surprise. It's been a slow, steady progress of gaining weight over time. I had reached my previous all-time high about 3 years ago and then just kept on trucking. I meant to lose the weight eventually, but life just got in the way. This summer I'm going through a separation and between the giant life change and some additional mood-stabilizing meds, I gained 10 pounds seemingly overnight. I didn't help myself by deciding that I was free to eat takeout as much as I wanted to now that I'm single! Yikes. No, Jen, just no.

That was my breaking point though. The day the scale hit 170. So I pulled on my workout gear, snapped a before pic, and hit the treadmill.

I'm going back to basics. Back to the only thing that's ever worked for me - calorie tracking, Fitbit wearing, and regular workouts. Back to the wonderful MFP community that helped me through the first two losses.

I know I can do it, because I already did! I know what's possible. I also know the challenges that lie ahead. This is a great place to be in :) See how I'm giving myself a pep talk? I know y'all will do better! Who's in this for the second, third, or umpteen hundredth time? How do you re-motivate yourself? Do you try something new or do what's worked before?

Replies

  • mamasara2
    mamasara2 Posts: 194 Member
    edited June 2018
    Yes. 2009 I went through a divorce and lost 30lbs. Kept it off for a while, then got remarried. Second child and years later, I am back at 175 and want to get back down to the 135-145 range. I was in the 180s when I started back up again last month. It's horrible not being comfortable in my body. Clothes don't fit my body properly when I am overweight- everything looks dumpy. So not cool!

    I'm enjoying the process a little more this time around and trying to stay patient.
  • mamasara2
    mamasara2 Posts: 194 Member
    I think I'm tired of trying different eating styles and all that jazz- I admit I have tried fad diets and miracle weighloss regimes in the past. Seems like the only thing that really works for me is diet change and exercising regularly.
  • hokeehales
    hokeehales Posts: 5 Member
    Girl! You are so not alone! I posted about this earlier today. I've lost weight and gained it back. I am horrible for emotional/boredom/pms eating. This most recent gained was caused by my father passing away in December. I've been eating ALL of the feelings haha. I technically have 70lbs I would like to lose but I just want to feel and look good. We can do this! I believe in you!
  • walking2running
    walking2running Posts: 140 Member
    You're not alone. You can do it!
  • djsoos
    djsoos Posts: 135 Member
    edited June 2018
    That post above is great !!! I need the last paragraph to be hitting me hard every 3 hours, LOL.

    Good luck with getting back in the swing of things !! :)
  • snobunny014
    snobunny014 Posts: 1 Member
    Same boat.....it sucks. I went from 191 to 145 (over a couple year period, healthy weight loss). Three years ago I was in the best shape of my life at 31. Now I'm at 171 and a size 15. I could cry. Thank you for posting this. I need to know someone else feels this frustration. We got this girlie! Every choice we make puts us one step closer to the goal. What worked before will work again. We know what to do.....now let's get to doing it. I will say though, weight gain from medication can be stubborn, so don't let it discourage you if it is slow going for a bit
  • cheff
    cheff Posts: 3 Member
    Same boat! Lost 35 lbs when I was 23-25 yo and now I'm 32 to and have gained 15 of it back and feel the rest could happen easily if I'm not careful. Determined to lose those 15. Would love to follow all of you and support each other!
  • Katierosefree
    Katierosefree Posts: 8 Member
    Same here sister! 🙋‍♀️ I’ve been slowly creeping up for the last two and a half years. Then all of a sudden, BAM! Hello highest weight I’ve ever been! When I tell people that I weigh 170, they don’t believe me or tell me that “I carry it really well.” 🤦‍♀️ Either way, it’s not comfortable Lol

    So this last week I decided that since it’s officially summer and my kids are home, I need to make a routine and just get on it. I’m hoping that the kids will want to workout with me and keep it fun...we shall see. Haha (They’re 13 and 9) 🤞🤷‍♀️

    Thanks for your post, it’s a refreshingly honest post! I’d like to add you if that’s ok? Just gotta figure out how to do that. Lol Good luck, and keep it up!! You motivated me not to eat that s’mores deliciousness that’s been calling my name! ❤️

  • alynxx2016
    alynxx2016 Posts: 61 Member
    Same boat here and my main downfall is stopping tracking calories combined with some injury that hindered me going to the gym. I cannot do any type of high impact or jumping workouts and each time I try them I end up with at least a week out of the gym. I am now just a few pounds off my original starting point after losing nearly 30 lbs using Mfp. I'm starting again doing one day at a time. Will head to gym tomorrow and aim for at least 4 days a week.
  • MariadfdCruz
    MariadfdCruz Posts: 69 Member
    Same boat here! I changed Country 2 years ago and it has been hard to loose the weight I gained before and after moving Countries. Life happened and I couldn´t keep healthy eating and regular exercise. I gained the weight slowly, too and at this point I´ve fighting to get back. As you, at this point I reach the point, it is enough and here I am strongly trying it again, with MFP. Good luck! You may add me, if you would like.
  • jenf330
    jenf330 Posts: 66 Member
    Same here sister! 🙋‍♀️ I’ve been slowly creeping up for the last two and a half years. Then all of a sudden, BAM! Hello highest weight I’ve ever been! When I tell people that I weigh 170, they don’t believe me or tell me that “I carry it really well.” 🤦‍♀️ Either way, it’s not comfortable Lol

    So this last week I decided that since it’s officially summer and my kids are home, I need to make a routine and just get on it. I’m hoping that the kids will want to workout with me and keep it fun...we shall see. Haha (They’re 13 and 9) 🤞🤷‍♀️

    Thanks for your post, it’s a refreshingly honest post! I’d like to add you if that’s ok? Just gotta figure out how to do that. Lol Good luck, and keep it up!! You motivated me not to eat that s’mores deliciousness that’s been calling my name! ❤️

    Ugh, I hate those comments from people who don't believe I weigh that much! Yes, I do. Or, if I don't, will someone tell the scale that? I know that I personally don't "carry it well." I have a small frame, so any extra weight shows up very quickly. I wish I could carry it well. If I did, I'd probably rock it and not worry about anything. But you're right, it comes down to comfort. I'm not comfortable. I'm working to get back to comfortable! We can do this!
  • jenf330
    jenf330 Posts: 66 Member
    alynxx2016 wrote: »
    Same boat here and my main downfall is stopping tracking calories combined with some injury that hindered me going to the gym. I cannot do any type of high impact or jumping workouts and each time I try them I end up with at least a week out of the gym. I am now just a few pounds off my original starting point after losing nearly 30 lbs using Mfp. I'm starting again doing one day at a time. Will head to gym tomorrow and aim for at least 4 days a week.

    I also had an injury that's kept me from doing the workouts I used to be able to do. I recently just discovered pilates on the reformer. It's so wonderful! Low impact and stress-relieving too. Have you tried it? I don't notice my injury at all in that class.

    Best of luck to you! I know we can do it again :)
  • jenf330
    jenf330 Posts: 66 Member
    Same boat.....it sucks. I went from 191 to 145 (over a couple year period, healthy weight loss). Three years ago I was in the best shape of my life at 31. Now I'm at 171 and a size 15. I could cry. Thank you for posting this. I need to know someone else feels this frustration. We got this girlie! Every choice we make puts us one step closer to the goal. What worked before will work again. We know what to do.....now let's get to doing it. I will say though, weight gain from medication can be stubborn, so don't let it discourage you if it is slow going for a bit

    Wow! You got this for sure! You've already been so successful :smile:

    I know what you mean about the medication weight though. That was what actually kept me from trying for years, because I didn't think it would do any good. That's been a hard thing to accept and move past. I know it will be harder, but I need to still try. I'm trying to think about this in terms of health more than weight loss. It's tough though! I want to lose weight! ;-P Best of luck to you!
  • jenf330
    jenf330 Posts: 66 Member
    mamasara2 wrote: »
    Yes. 2009 I went through a divorce and lost 30lbs. Kept it off for a while, then got remarried. Second child and years later, I am back at 175 and want to get back down to the 135-145 range. I was in the 180s when I started back up again last month. It's horrible not being comfortable in my body. Clothes don't fit my body properly when I am overweight- everything looks dumpy. So not cool!

    I'm enjoying the process a little more this time around and trying to stay patient.

    As I'm reading through people's stories, it seems like divorce is quite the motivating factor :smiley: Hey, whatever works, right?

    I hear you about the comfort thing. I refuse to buy another size up, but the result is that my pants are SUPER uncomfortable. Even my workout clothes are too tight. It's awful.

    But hey, you are already a success story! 10 pounds in just a month - wow! You got this :)
  • m1ssannthropy
    m1ssannthropy Posts: 35 Member
    I'm so happy to see I'm not alone <3 So yeah, bad relationship = weight gain. Post bad relationship I stood on the scale and gained back a whopping 14 kilo! Whuuuuut... I have now reorganized my jeans into - fits, almost fits, will fit in about 10 kilo and will fit if I reach my target weight. I did go to Primark and got me a few 3 to 8 euro pants a size up to be comfortable, because if I get stressed out I'm more likely to turn to comfort food. I'm back in the game nearly 70 days now and have lost 8 kilo, only 6 kilo more to be back where I was in july 2017! I'm 163 cm.
    I also had a small surgical procedure last year which prevented me working out, but other than that I like to joke that my winter body is on point... :#
  • jenf330
    jenf330 Posts: 66 Member
    I'm so happy to see I'm not alone <3 So yeah, bad relationship = weight gain. Post bad relationship I stood on the scale and gained back a whopping 14 kilo! Whuuuuut... I have now reorganized my jeans into - fits, almost fits, will fit in about 10 kilo and will fit if I reach my target weight. I did go to Primark and got me a few 3 to 8 euro pants a size up to be comfortable, because if I get stressed out I'm more likely to turn to comfort food. I'm back in the game nearly 70 days now and have lost 8 kilo, only 6 kilo more to be back where I was in july 2017! I'm 163 cm.
    I also had a small surgical procedure last year which prevented me working out, but other than that I like to joke that my winter body is on point... :#

    Yes! I love your jeans organization!! I have an entire box of "hopefully will fit again someday" clothes.

    I didn't understand most of the kilo-speak :wink: - Americans, amiright? - but it sounds like you're on the right track already! I can't wait to start seeing some progress like that. Good luck!
  • evarossi2006
    evarossi2006 Posts: 1 Member
    I am on the same “boat” not for bad relationship (at least now :) but for gaining and losing weights I started over 75 days ago and lost 12kg so far but still additional 15kg to go; therefore we can do it!! :) the diet I am doing now is pretty good and helping me a lot but for someone can be considered with too many restriction. What I do is to measure my weight only each 20/30 days and look only at recording calories and measuring success with dresses (those I could not wear anymore).
  • 2GetFit2018
    2GetFit2018 Posts: 12 Member
    Done this several times in my life and I am back to it again as well. Only thing that works for me is counting calories and lots of exercise.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited June 2018
    I have ridden that merry-go-round and the horses' saddles were worn smooth. The brain is the greatest mountain we have to climb. It's human nature to get to the optimum set point and think that our weight is magically fixed. Maintenance is a balancing act that someone like me will be working on for the rest of my life. There's no such thing as the finish line.

    The brain really doesn't care if you stay at your optimum setpoint or not. It's more than happy to see to it that you eat it all back. It actually enjoys helping you eat it all back because the deep grooves in the brain are the resting comfort level. It's at peace when you take a trip back down memory lane by eating all the things. The brain is back in the saddle again. In charge.

    Tracking food is easy. Willpower doesn't fix it. Willpower runs out. You have to find the greater cause that will catapult you back to the optimum setpoint. There's the brain weight vs. the dream weight. The two rarely agree. With each passing dieting excursion and eating it all back, the body's setpoint does some changing.

    It doesn't matter if you keep gaining and losing the same 10 or 15 lbs over the course of lifetime or if it's 50 or 100 or 150, when you eat it all back there's metabolic blowback. That's why if you can get a grip on it sooner rather than later, you will have a much better chance of getting there and actually staying there for the rest of your life.

    Don't think short term or when you get to the other side of all this. There's more work once the weight releasing is done. I had to throw everything out with the bathwater and reframe everything for my brain. I'm still working on the disconnects for the brain. Brain Training.

    Restrictive food protocols define themselves as a lifestyle change. That's a disconnect. It's just another diet all gussied up by rephrasing old dieting terms with new ones. The brain knows the truth and it starts to rebel. At some point while we're asleep at the wheel on autopilot the brain sits right back down at the controls pulling all of the levers. Before you know what hit you, you've eaten it all back.

    Not one single time... Not one single time during the eating it all back phase did the brain STOP you. No, it did not because it likes being in charge. Then you awaken and you take the bull by the horns.

    You learn that the old approaches to dieting and weight loss will no longer serve you. You change everything UP. I threw the dieting books away, tossed out all of my before photos because those don't work for me. After so many befores and a few afters, they wash each other out. You get back up on your feet and you fight like hail with I can't fool myself realism.

    This time, you know in your heart that you are not going to go through this again. You mean it will all of your being and you keep fighting. You refuse to accept the genetics or environmental cues that have caused those UP and down, wild swings with weight. When you're really through, no one can stop you. Let nothing deter you and tell the brain just to shut the hail up. You are back in the charge. The real you. The part of you that cares about everything and everyone. Your soul or your spirit. Body. Mind. Spirit.

    The trifecta. When you pull on all three of them together there ain't nothin' gonna stop you now. Happy Trails. Let'er Buck.
  • veronicapanita28
    veronicapanita28 Posts: 1 Member
    Same here! Ultimately, I accessed the Premium feature on MFP as stats say you are more likely to lose weight with this account...
    Yeah, though, while it is motivating, I know only a balanced diet and steady exercise works in my case. All I have to do is skip the emotional/ stress eating habits, and yes it sucks. But, I did it twice, third time's gonna be a charm. And I keep telling myself that everything is possible and the only thing staying in my way is myself and my bad choices.
    Wish you the best and patience for anyone who's at n-th run!
  • jenf330
    jenf330 Posts: 66 Member
    Same here! Ultimately, I accessed the Premium feature on MFP as stats say you are more likely to lose weight with this account...
    Yeah, though, while it is motivating, I know only a balanced diet and steady exercise works in my case. All I have to do is skip the emotional/ stress eating habits, and yes it sucks. But, I did it twice, third time's gonna be a charm. And I keep telling myself that everything is possible and the only thing staying in my way is myself and my bad choices.
    Wish you the best and patience for anyone who's at n-th run!

    I'm also the only one standing in my way. I pretended for a long time that my weight was out of my control, but it never was.

    Let me know how the Premium works out for you! I've never used it. Good luck!
  • Colofit
    Colofit Posts: 177 Member
    Me too...hit menopause and BOOM 12 lbs on my mid section! (help I have become my Mother!!) I am back at counting calories and working out ... in 3 weeks have lost 4 lbs. I would like to lose another 10 but I keep telling myself that patience is a MUST this time.