Grief & Diet

kdillon606
kdillon606 Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
A family member of mine passed away recently and I had been keeping my diet together until the funeral on Friday. I drove with another family member about 5+/- hours in the morning on a strict timeline to get there by 10am so I had McDonalds for the first time in months. I kept it to one egg mcmuffin meal with orange juice of which I have been avoiding as well since juice is so calorie dense and I'd rather have actual food. After the funeral, I was quite upset and had pasta, salad, and a LARGE cookie for desert. Honestly can't remember what I had for dinner and just down-spiraled for the rest of the weekend. Eggs, bacon, homefries, pasta, ice cream ect. All my moderation motivation just went clear out the window for three days... This felt like a huge hit since I have been doing so well and losing consistently even though its been small .5lbs changes.

Anyways... I need some advice for getting past a really weak moment of mine that is really bringing me down. I'm back to my deficit but emotionally I'm in a rough spot. I would also like to open this discussion up to hearing about how people have dealt with grief and dieting.

Thank you!

Replies

  • Anrok
    Anrok Posts: 13 Member
    I'm sorry for your loss. I can't relate exactly to your story but I do know you can't beat yourself up over a few bad days. Keep looking forward, what's done is done and there's no need to punish yourself. You were going through a trying and emotional time and taking comfort in a few excessive meals was OK. I'm going to repeat that because that's the most important part- it's ok that you slipped up.
    We have goals and we're trying to learn moderation and make it habit but sometimes we struggle and that's part of the process. Drink a lot of water the next few days to flush out water weight you may have put on, and don't weigh in for a week or so. Give yourself time to get back to your routine and don't let a bad weekend be an excuse to give up. You'll get through it.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Try to put the over eating behind you. It was not a normal few days and It was not over a long enough time to have a detrimental affect on your diet. Don't carry it on it will just give you more to be upset about.

    I am sorry for your loss, coming to terms with a death in the family is really hard but you will get to a point where it eases. Just be kind to yourself and take your time there are no rules when it comes to grieving.

  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,594 Member
    Give yourself some forgiveness. You were faced with an extremely difficult situation. You may have a slight increase in the scale this week, but if you aren’t ready to face the scale wait another week to weigh in. And just start now getting back on track with eating.

    I am so sorry for your loss. Grief is difficult.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    edited July 2018
    I am very sorry for your loss.

    Do not beat yourself up. Just go back on plan. It's a blip in time. It's over. You can't change it at this point. Take care of yourself.
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,727 Member
    Don't beat yourself up. Losing a family member sucks.

    Don't let the loss and the slip up gang up on you. It happened, and was a perfectly normal response to that level of stress. Time to get back on the horse and go back to what's been working for you.

    Different people find different things therapeutic. Most people find the endorphins from moderate sustained cardio exercise to be somewhat beneficial. So if you've been running, go for a run. If you haven't--Go for a brisk walk. If you don't want to be alone, find someone to walk or run with you. You can try keeping a journal-either on paper or electronic. Public or private, as you are comfortable with it.

    You didn't mention how close a family member or how integral to your life, It can be harder for someone who was moderately close, but integral to certain times or seasons than for someone who was formative in your life. IOW, losing Auntie Lily who you only saw every Christmas could be harder at Christmas than losing a parent or sibling whose loss must be fully integrated before you return to dealing with pressing forward. Be prepared for challenges and for reminders at uncomfortable or inconvenient times.

    Most people find that talking through it with a close friend or two helps in bringing out and processing the immediate aftermath.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    I am very sorry for your loss.

    Do not beat yourself up. Just go back on plan. It's a blip in time. It's over. You can't change it at this point. Take care of yourself.

    This. This is excellent advice.
  • allmannerofthings
    allmannerofthings Posts: 829 Member
    Sorry for your loss. Grief is hard, exhausting, stressful and just about every other bad thing you can think of. I lost my mum recently. Be gentle with yourself and get back on track slowly. Take one action, which ever is easiest for you. You will get back. Great advice from @stanmann571
  • whathapnd
    whathapnd Posts: 1,304 Member
    I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with others that beating yourself up won't do you any good in the short or long run, but reflecting on your eating during this time might provide insight for future periods of grief/stress.

    Questions I would ask myself are:1) Was my grief the underlying issue, or was it being thrown out of my element regarding food availability/schedule (i.e. being rushed and having to eat fast food on the road) 2) Did I respond to those calorie dense foods more strongly because I've been denying myself those foods while losing? 3) Am I prone to over-eating when dealing with big emotions?

    Knowing the answers to those questions might help you mentally prepare when faced with the next grieving/stressful event. Or maybe not. Life is filled with big emotional/stressful events. Adding guilt on top of those events won't change that.

    Glad you're back on plan.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    You might want to consider a couple of weeks at maintenance... weight loss isn't always the number 1 priority
  • martindclay
    martindclay Posts: 1 Member
    The past does not equal the future. Focus commit and take action. Never retreat never surrender.
  • kdillon606
    kdillon606 Posts: 14 Member
    Thank you all for your replies! I need to hear some outside perspective from people outside of family and friends because sometime they sugar coat stuff which makes it hard to believe..

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