This is so hard, tell me its worth it

I've been dieting for almost 6 months and I've only lost 17 pounds. I have 120 pounds to lose. When I just count calories, and eat 1200 to 1400 a day, I lose about 1.5 pounds a month, the only way I lose more is fasting on 800 calories for 5 days, every 3 weeks. This week I went on holiday, on a tiny boat, and I didnt fast or count calories. It was only 5 days and I figured I would gain maybe 2 pounds as we had to eat out most of the time. I gained 5 pounds. About 6 weeks worth of weight loss regained in 5 days. We also walked 10 to 15k steps a day, once we moored up, so it's not like I was idle. I have health issues, I have hyperthyroidism (yes hyper not hypo) and lupus, and I really need to do this, but I do not want to spend the rest of my life fasting just to maintain weight loss. It doesn't feel worth it to me. I have so much to lose, I should be able to take 5 days off, surely? Last time I lost all the weight, I ended up surviving off less than 500 calories a day just to maintain it. It sucked and I was unhappy. If this is how hard its going to be, is it really worth it? If I just eat a healthy diet, eat mindfully and exercise, I slowly gain weight which I was doing for the last couple of years.

Replies

  • all4yum
    all4yum Posts: 43 Member
    I think that if you focus more on logging correctly (have a moderate but true and consistent calorie deficit) and patience (including monitoring your weight consistently and over time), and less on "healthy eating" and exercise, you will have enough mental energy to stick to that calorie deficit, and then you lose weight.

    This what I did for the first 3 months. I focused on logging every single thing I ate, stuck to the mfp calorie deficit and weighed daily, so I could see the pattern of weight loss, and for the first two months I lost 1.5 pounds, the 3rd I lost 0.75 pounds. When you've got 120 pounds to lose, that's not enough. It's not enough to keep motivation when you know it would take nearly 7 years to lose the weight. I know everyone is different but when you see women my size losing weight pretty fast on a moderate deficit, or when my 60 year old mother can lose 4 pounds a week, just cutting out cookies, it's hard to keep saying "sure, let's keep dieting and lose a pound a month". The fasting means I lose 6 to 8 pounds a month. And that keeps me motivated. But I can't live my life knowing I can't even take 5 days off counting every calorie without setting myself back 6 weeks. That's too stressful. I know my thyroid plays a role, but that isn't going to get better as they plan on just removing it, it sucks. Surely there must just be a middle ground where I can enjoy life, eat a normal, healthy diet and still lose a reasonable about of weight. Because I've lived a life where I exercised every day, I ran, I went to the gym, and I still had to have a severe calorie deficit to just maintain my weight loss and no, I don't want to live that life. I'm not a quitter. No matter what new illness my body has thrown at me, I've kept going. But I don't want to live my life obsessed with food and every single calorie. Just to lose a tiny amount of weight. How is that worth it?
  • ChelleDee07
    ChelleDee07 Posts: 396 Member
    I'll also have to ask, are you using a digital food scale. What we think is a serving is often not the case. In addition, packaging lies on serving sizes as well. The only way to KNOW for 100% what you are consuming is to weigh your food.
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited July 2018
    Pain is the precursor to change. With every passing year the ground grows colder. A decade from now this will not be any easier. It's possible that you may be knocking up against insulin resistance. If so, you are in for the fight of your life but it can be done. It takes true grit. No one can tell you this is worth it. Our words are meaningless when you're faced with fixing your meals and tracking your food. You're going to have to muster UP by an act of your will to care about your body. Not willpower, willpower runs out. Pull on that unction, a strong desire for lasting change. Start thinking waaaay down the road, not months or even 2 years from now. When the pain increases in your joints, knees, feet, back, shoulders you will want change. Do it now while you're young. Why don't you sit down with someone outside of your family, face-to-face. Not a quack but someone who can look you directly in the eyes and lay it all on the line. You've got to fight for your overall health and well being. We all do.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    all4yum wrote: »
    I think that if you focus more on logging correctly (have a moderate but true and consistent calorie deficit) and patience (including monitoring your weight consistently and over time), and less on "healthy eating" and exercise, you will have enough mental energy to stick to that calorie deficit, and then you lose weight.

    This what I did for the first 3 months. I focused on logging every single thing I ate, stuck to the mfp calorie deficit and weighed daily, so I could see the pattern of weight loss, and for the first two months I lost 1.5 pounds, the 3rd I lost 0.75 pounds. When you've got 120 pounds to lose, that's not enough. It's not enough to keep motivation when you know it would take nearly 7 years to lose the weight. I know everyone is different but when you see women my size losing weight pretty fast on a moderate deficit, or when my 60 year old mother can lose 4 pounds a week, just cutting out cookies, it's hard to keep saying "sure, let's keep dieting and lose a pound a month". The fasting means I lose 6 to 8 pounds a month. And that keeps me motivated. But I can't live my life knowing I can't even take 5 days off counting every calorie without setting myself back 6 weeks. That's too stressful. I know my thyroid plays a role, but that isn't going to get better as they plan on just removing it, it sucks. Surely there must just be a middle ground where I can enjoy life, eat a normal, healthy diet and still lose a reasonable about of weight. Because I've lived a life where I exercised every day, I ran, I went to the gym, and I still had to have a severe calorie deficit to just maintain my weight loss and no, I don't want to live that life. I'm not a quitter. No matter what new illness my body has thrown at me, I've kept going. But I don't want to live my life obsessed with food and every single calorie. Just to lose a tiny amount of weight. How is that worth it?

    Are you on medications to compensate for your thyroid? Having that under control will make a difference. Any other medical conditions? Certain conditions such as PCOS and insulin resistance may respond better to low carb. This isn't universally true, but many women find it to be helpful. I will also echo the use of a food scale as well as ensuring that the entries you use are correct. The database is full of inaccuracies. Food packages are allowed to be off by up to 20%, so an individually packaged item could contain quite a few more calories than you realize.
  • iowalinda
    iowalinda Posts: 357 Member
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  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    Being fat is hard, losing weight is hard.... choose your hard

    Yep... kitten that woo.
  • ryenday
    ryenday Posts: 1,540 Member
    OP: It is hard. It is harder for some than for others. And many people find some times during the diet easier and harder even though they didn’t change their eating habits or exercise.

    But please don’t give up.

    But IT IS ABSOLUTELY worth it. The health benefits, the pain mitigation and prevention. The energy. The mood enhancing etc.

    I’m surprised among the earlier responses (which have some good advice, if a bit unsympathetically presented) no one mentions that you may not have gained back 5 pounds. The scale can be very misleading, especially if we go on a break where we eat foods that we were not eating (saltier or carb heavy might cause water retention) - and water weight fluctuations of over 5 pounds for females (especially around TOM) are common.

    As for the hard - there are many different approaches to calorie restriction that may be easier or harder for you. Me, I was the most unhappy, hangriest person on a steady day in day out 1200 calories a day. When I switched how and what I ate ( to Intermittent fasting (5:2 and 16:8) and ate a starchy potato most days) with the same WEEKLY calories it was so much easier - for me. Other people find restricting carbs make it easier to stick to their calorie goal. Etc...

    So besides the good advice above on being accurate with your calories, You might try different approaches and see if any help. Again, it is different for everyone and took me months to find an approach that was relatively easy for me. in case it helps: My personal big breakthrough was realizing that eating breakfast left me hungry all day long, but postponing my first meal til noon helped me feel more satisfied the rest of the day AND saved me the breakfast calories for a bigger meal later.

    I wish you good luck and just want to reiterate: it is worth it!
  • mariececilia10
    mariececilia10 Posts: 77 Member
    I'll also have to ask, are you using a digital food scale. What we think is a serving is often not the case. In addition, packaging lies on serving sizes as well. The only way to KNOW for 100% what you are consuming is to weigh your food.

    Speaking to this a little bit, I was just in the store getting ice cream. I checked the nutrition info for the same flavor but two different brands - both had the serving size as 1/2 cup, but one was 150 calories while the other was 290 calories. I was about to get the one with less calories, thinking it was a difference in recipes, but when I re-checked the labels, the “150 calorie per half-cup serving” ice cream listed 66 grams as a half cup as compared to one-hundred-and-something grams in the “290 calories per half-cup serving” brand. They worked out to be roughly the same if you pay attention to the grams rather than the 1/2 cup measurement. Those sneaks!
  • tonkacrew3
    tonkacrew3 Posts: 51 Member
    Please hold on. I have lupus and fibromyalgia. All this talk about weighing food and counting calories just didn’t work for me. I use this app as a way to keep me accountable but I don’t live and die by it. Lupus has it’s own special challenges and limitations. Just breathe and stay balanced and calm.

    My suggestions are to look up “Full Plate Living” it is a way of eating that becomes a lifestyle. It has helped me tremendously! The fiber in the fruits and veggies encourages your body to lower inflammation, which is the #1 enemy of a connective tissue disease. This way of eating is also sustainable and cheaper. I find recipes using the list of fiber rich foods and make easy and sometimes even junk food copycat recipes that are healthy. This, and drinking lots of water, staying away from “diet” drinks and foods (which have ingredients that make lupus worse), moving as much as I can, and adding unfiltered apple cider vinegar to my tea every day (which also helps lower inflammation) has helped me get SO much better!!!

    The Full Plate Living website and book used to be called the “Full Plate Diet” because you can enjoy eating all these foods without worrying about counting calories. It also allows you to eat well so your body doesn’t do without and has to work harder to feel better. Which, with lupus, we DON’T need!

    I hope this helps. I know the pain and nausea and just plain sicknesses that lupus causes. I know too that I am doing better thanks to this lifestyle change. I can’t be perfectly healthy but any amount of better is good in my book. 😊
  • tonkacrew3
    tonkacrew3 Posts: 51 Member
    Oh...and an added benefit, because I am not stressing about “losing weight” my weight is lowering on it’s own. My body is getting the proper nutrition so the lupus is also more under control. Win, win.
  • SueSueDio
    SueSueDio Posts: 4,796 Member
    edited July 2018
    I might be mistaken, but I think @tomteboda has lupus - if she's still around, maybe she can comment on what worked for her?

    I'd agree with those who say it IS worth it, no matter how long it takes. But it shouldn't be as difficult as it seems to be for you, so something's not right somewhere. I'd definitely suggest getting a food scale and weighing and logging everything you eat and drink as accurately as possible. No "cheat days" where you don't log, no forgetting about the oils, condiments and sauces, no pretending that the foods you're embarrassed to log didn't actually get eaten. (Not saying that you ARE doing any of these things, but they're common reasons why people don't get an accurate calorie count.)

    Please don't be offended by the suggestions to weigh your food for accuracy. Some people feel it's rude for others to comment that they must be eating more than they think, as if the suggestion is actually that the person struggling is just plain greedy. That's not what anyone means at all - it's just that most of us are pretty poor at estimating portion sizes (there's a couple of good videos kicking around somewhere), and getting a food scale is both an eye-opening experience and a kick start to success for many. Please give it a try!