Psychology
ColorMe_Beautiful24
Posts: 67 Member
INsecurity????
Why is insecurity viewed as such a negative thing as if everyone does not have it?
*If is was socially acceptable to openly talk about your insecurities do you think people would be more honest with themselves about why they want to change certain aspects of themselves?
* I know everyone does not have it to the same degree but why are people shamed for not liking things about themselves?
Why is insecurity viewed as such a negative thing as if everyone does not have it?
*If is was socially acceptable to openly talk about your insecurities do you think people would be more honest with themselves about why they want to change certain aspects of themselves?
* I know everyone does not have it to the same degree but why are people shamed for not liking things about themselves?
2
Replies
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Poetic_Justice24 wrote: »INsecurity????
Why is insecurity viewed as such a negative thing as if everyone does not have it?
*If is was socially acceptable to openly talk about your insecurities do you think people would be more honest with themselves about why they want to change certain aspects of themselves?
* I know everyone does not have it to the same degree but why are people shamed for not liking things about themselves?
Are they shamed for not liking things about themselves? Or do *kitten* people recognize someone struggling and take advantage of an opportunity for self gratification. Feed on another’s hurt.
Lifes struggle in my opinion; is a constant challenge to separate ego from higher self and follow the souls promptings for a better path. Me personally, I struggle with accepting circumstances as they are, as I seemingly get attached to ideals of how it should be. Instead of accepting the reality and finding solutions to improve it - the attachment Causes me to listen to my ego who is always mind fuxxxx me into believing I’m not worthy, or good looking enough, smart enough, etc. I don’t think people necessarily view insecurities or fears as a bad thing. I just think that there are some people who feel better about themselves shaming others for the same insecurities that they themselves deal with however, Create-the perception that only the weak feel those emotions.
I need to reup9 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Admitting insecurities humanizes someone. If anything I think people can relate better to others who are okay with admitting imperfection. However it is a slippery slope. While it may make one more relatable, it is not a healthy game to entertain the negativity of what is “wrong” with our bodies. The same energy is better spent on accepting imperfection and loving ourselves anyway, then making a positive daily contribution to being the healthiest we can be. In short, I have insecurities but I rarely vocalize them because focusing on them doesn’t make me better it makes me feel worse. You become what you think. I am flawed, surely. But my energy is focused on what is right with me, and how grateful I am for how far my body has taken me. It’s the positive energy that leads us and pushes us to be better than yesterday. If we ignore the rest and focus on what we love in time those “flaws” lose their value of importance.
Out - freaking - standing! I have to ask, did you write this in the middle of the night? This makes so much sense. Thanks for sharing...2 -
Everyone has something they are insecure about, it's just a natural part of being humanPoetic_Justice24 wrote: »Why is insecurity viewed as such a negative thing as if everyone does not have it?
I think it's much more socially acceptable to talk about them now than it was say, 20 years ago. However it is still viewed as a sign of weakness and others in your life may not want to deal with that. Many people are depressed, have anxiety attacks, etc and how many of us get told to "Cheer up" "Get over it" "You're being stupid"? It's because at our heart we are still animals and a weak animal is a danger to the social group. This is not really a conscious or rational thing, instead it lies within the Id and cannot be controlled.Poetic_Justice24 wrote: »*If is was socially acceptable to openly talk about your insecurities do you think people would be more honest with themselves about why they want to change certain aspects of themselves?Poetic_Justice24 wrote: »* I know everyone does not have it to the same degree but why are people shamed for not liking things about themselves?
I'm not really sure where to go with this one as I've never experienced it. I'd have to say because some people are just bullies and you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.0 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Admitting insecurities humanizes someone. If anything I think people can relate better to others who are okay with admitting imperfection. However it is a slippery slope. While it may make one more relatable, it is not a healthy game to entertain the negativity of what is “wrong” with our bodies. The same energy is better spent on accepting imperfection and loving ourselves anyway, then making a positive daily contribution to being the healthiest we can be. In short, I have insecurities but I rarely vocalize them because focusing on them doesn’t make me better it makes me feel worse. You become what you think. I am flawed, surely. But my energy is focused on what is right with me, and how grateful I am for how far my body has taken me. It’s the positive energy that leads us and pushes us to be better than yesterday. If we ignore the rest and focus on what we love in time those “flaws” lose their value of importance.
I don't completely agree with this. One of the reasons most people can't break the circular habits of losing weight being happy, gaining weight being sad, over and over again is because of lack of self reflection. What is wrong with your body, health and mind definitely need to be addressed, accepted as truth, then worked on. It's not negative to admit the truth of our imperfections, it's empowering. I agree working on improving ourselves, in any capacity is where the energy should be focused, but to label honest self critique as negative is a sabotoge. Its wrong to let someone else to tell you whats "wrong" with your body. Its wrong to want to change a perceived imperfection based on anothers view. Its absolutely necessary to accept our flaws before we change them, and that takes energy and courage, none of which is negative. In a world where the majority of selfies taken are not remotely a true representation of what a person looks like, it is far more common for people to hide from what bothers them than to accept and address. It's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to not want to be perfect. It's also ok to want to change that which bothers you, and keep that as a positive motivator as you work on change.7 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Admitting insecurities humanizes someone. If anything I think people can relate better to others who are okay with admitting imperfection. However it is a slippery slope. While it may make one more relatable, it is not a healthy game to entertain the negativity of what is “wrong” with our bodies. The same energy is better spent on accepting imperfection and loving ourselves anyway, then making a positive daily contribution to being the healthiest we can be. In short, I have insecurities but I rarely vocalize them because focusing on them doesn’t make me better it makes me feel worse. You become what you think. I am flawed, surely. But my energy is focused on what is right with me, and how grateful I am for how far my body has taken me. It’s the positive energy that leads us and pushes us to be better than yesterday. If we ignore the rest and focus on what we love in time those “flaws” lose their value of importance.
I love this...CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Admitting insecurities humanizes someone. If anything I think people can relate better to others who are okay with admitting imperfection. However it is a slippery slope. While it may make one more relatable, it is not a healthy game to entertain the negativity of what is “wrong” with our bodies. The same energy is better spent on accepting imperfection and loving ourselves anyway, then making a positive daily contribution to being the healthiest we can be. In short, I have insecurities but I rarely vocalize them because focusing on them doesn’t make me better it makes me feel worse. You become what you think. I am flawed, surely. But my energy is focused on what is right with me, and how grateful I am for how far my body has taken me. It’s the positive energy that leads us and pushes us to be better than yesterday. If we ignore the rest and focus on what we love in time those “flaws” lose their value of importance.
I don't completely agree with this. One of the reasons most people can't break the circular habits of losing weight being happy, gaining weight being sad, over and over again is because of lack of self reflection. What is wrong with your body, health and mind definitely need to be addressed, accepted as truth, then worked on. It's not negative to admit the truth of our imperfections, it's empowering. I agree working on improving ourselves, in any capacity is where the energy should be focused, but to label honest self critique as negative is a sabotoge. Its wrong to let someone else to tell you whats "wrong" with your body. Its wrong to want to change a perceived imperfection based on anothers view. Its absolutely necessary to accept our flaws before we change them, and that takes energy and courage, none of which is negative. In a world where the majority of selfies taken are not remotely a true representation of what a person looks like, it is far more common for people to hide from what bothers them than to accept and address. It's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to not want to be perfect. It's also ok to want to change that which bothers you, and keep that as a positive motivator as you work on change.
...and this...CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Admitting insecurities humanizes someone. If anything I think people can relate better to others who are okay with admitting imperfection. However it is a slippery slope. While it may make one more relatable, it is not a healthy game to entertain the negativity of what is “wrong” with our bodies. The same energy is better spent on accepting imperfection and loving ourselves anyway, then making a positive daily contribution to being the healthiest we can be. In short, I have insecurities but I rarely vocalize them because focusing on them doesn’t make me better it makes me feel worse. You become what you think. I am flawed, surely. But my energy is focused on what is right with me, and how grateful I am for how far my body has taken me. It’s the positive energy that leads us and pushes us to be better than yesterday. If we ignore the rest and focus on what we love in time those “flaws” lose their value of importance.
I agree with all of this, but I will add that I have had people thank me when I am honest about my struggles. I try to be upbeat, positive and motivating when posting statuses and that makes some people feel worse at times. In the social media world that everyone is obsessed with people are always posting only the good stuff and the perfect selfies. It gives a false sense of reality. Not everyone is perfect and has an amazing life. I love when people are real and admit their flaws or struggles. It is so important, especially for teenagers, to see that life isn't always puppy dogs and rainbows.
I'd find it very refreshing to see more people saying "This is what I struggle with, BUT this is how I cope with/embrace/intend to change it"
..and this. Feeling like I’m in church here this morning lol.7 -
CoffeeAndContour wrote: »Admitting insecurities humanizes someone. If anything I think people can relate better to others who are okay with admitting imperfection. However it is a slippery slope. While it may make one more relatable, it is not a healthy game to entertain the negativity of what is “wrong” with our bodies. The same energy is better spent on accepting imperfection and loving ourselves anyway, then making a positive daily contribution to being the healthiest we can be. In short, I have insecurities but I rarely vocalize them because focusing on them doesn’t make me better it makes me feel worse. You become what you think. I am flawed, surely. But my energy is focused on what is right with me, and how grateful I am for how far my body has taken me. It’s the positive energy that leads us and pushes us to be better than yesterday. If we ignore the rest and focus on what we love in time those “flaws” lose their value of importance.
I don't completely agree with this. One of the reasons most people can't break the circular habits of losing weight being happy, gaining weight being sad, over and over again is because of lack of self reflection. What is wrong with your body, health and mind definitely need to be addressed, accepted as truth, then worked on. It's not negative to admit the truth of our imperfections, it's empowering. I agree working on improving ourselves, in any capacity is where the energy should be focused, but to label honest self critique as negative is a sabotoge. Its wrong to let someone else to tell you whats "wrong" with your body. Its wrong to want to change a perceived imperfection based on anothers view. Its absolutely necessary to accept our flaws before we change them, and that takes energy and courage, none of which is negative. In a world where the majority of selfies taken are not remotely a true representation of what a person looks like, it is far more common for people to hide from what bothers them than to accept and address. It's ok to not be perfect. It's ok to not want to be perfect. It's also ok to want to change that which bothers you, and keep that as a positive motivator as you work on change.
I see what you are saying. Not all insecurities are solely about one's body though. Some of it may be things that can't be changed at all or aren't easy to change. I think there are lots of people who are insecure about their mental or financial situations. So many people not asking for help when they are struggling because everyone else SEEMS to have it all together.
I think you, me and @CoffeeAndContour are all saying the same thing though.... People should be willing to admit their flaws, struggles, insecurities, whatever but dwelling on them or using them as an excuse doesn't help anyone.
Yes, I agree. It's why I said body, health, and mind. Actually until you change your mindset on something you will never be able to fix it whether it be physical, financial, etc. I understand there are things that cannot be changed, those are the things that need to be accepted as who a person is and not give a negative connotation. But my point is the things that can be changed, should not be forgotten or thought as negative. It's a sense of empowerment to realize everyday what you don't like and what steps everyday you are taking to change them. And hell yeah some changes are brutally difficult....so what. It only makes making them that much more rewarding, and when a slip is made, we all slip, reminding yourself what I'm doing is hard but worth it. I'm not into sugar coating tasks or forgetting them because it was once an issue. The second you decide to change something, that negative becomes a positive.4 -
I think it's nice to be able to relate to others when we are open about our insecurities. It makes us feel human and see that we aren't alone in our struggles. However, it can be a slippery slope because misery loves company. It's hard for me to associate with people who are constantly negative. Attitudes are contagious, whether negative or positive. I find myself attracted to those who push past obstacles and fight hard to become better.
As a mom of girls, one of them a teenager, I have to make a daily conscious effort to not vocalize my flaws and insecurities. That's a hard thing to do. I find myself venting to my mfp friends sometimes instead of letting my daughters hear any negative self talk. It's absolutely damaging for young girls to witness and hear body shaming and bashing of others. I know, I'm 38 years old and still feel the effects of this.6 -
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I think the difficulty of admitting our flaws is in part also that it conflicts with a usual belief, for most of us, that we are not hypocrites. To know you should do something, but still not do it (or the corollary) is to be somewhat hypocritical or at the very least is a failure of logical reasoning.
I raise my hand as one, though it’s painful to admit, and the data say I’m not alone. Marketing research folks have known this a long time, that our beliefs and our actions are not well correlated.
I don’t have a great answer for the issue. The gap between what I know and what I do is a source of friction for me. I suppose we all have ways of reconciling these, but it’s difficult sometimes- at least for me.1 -
Whatever flaws I know of in myself, I deal with privately. I can be guaranteed that other people will see my flaws immediately and discuss and exploit them. We can all be assured of that. No need to tell on yourself. Your own flaws are your own to manage and control.
I wish years ago, someone could have told me that I need to let go of all the chaos and bad stuff, that I was not what that luggage tried to define me as being. Bad things happen to everyone. Some of us choose to internalize it and become victims of our own remorse.
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deweese7717 wrote: »Poetic_Justice24 wrote: »INsecurity????
Why is insecurity viewed as such a negative thing as if everyone does not have it?
*If is was socially acceptable to openly talk about your insecurities do you think people would be more honest with themselves about why they want to change certain aspects of themselves?
* I know everyone does not have it to the same degree but why are people shamed for not liking things about themselves?
Are they shamed for not liking things about themselves? Or do *kitten* people recognize someone struggling and take advantage of an opportunity for self gratification. Feed on another’s hurt.
Lifes struggle in my opinion; is a constant challenge to separate ego from higher self and follow the souls promptings for a better path. Me personally, I struggle with accepting circumstances as they are, as I seemingly get attached to ideals of how it should be. Instead of accepting the reality and finding solutions to improve it - the attachment Causes me to listen to my ego who is always mind fuxxxx me into believing I’m not worthy, or good looking enough, smart enough, etc. I don’t think people necessarily view insecurities or fears as a bad thing. I just think that there are some people who feel better about themselves shaming others for the same insecurities that they themselves deal with however, Create-the perception that only the weak feel those emotions.
I need to reup
TWINSIES1 -
Teamleslie wrote: »deweese7717 wrote: »Poetic_Justice24 wrote: »INsecurity????
Why is insecurity viewed as such a negative thing as if everyone does not have it?
*If is was socially acceptable to openly talk about your insecurities do you think people would be more honest with themselves about why they want to change certain aspects of themselves?
* I know everyone does not have it to the same degree but why are people shamed for not liking things about themselves?
Are they shamed for not liking things about themselves? Or do *kitten* people recognize someone struggling and take advantage of an opportunity for self gratification. Feed on another’s hurt.
Lifes struggle in my opinion; is a constant challenge to separate ego from higher self and follow the souls promptings for a better path. Me personally, I struggle with accepting circumstances as they are, as I seemingly get attached to ideals of how it should be. Instead of accepting the reality and finding solutions to improve it - the attachment Causes me to listen to my ego who is always mind fuxxxx me into believing I’m not worthy, or good looking enough, smart enough, etc. I don’t think people necessarily view insecurities or fears as a bad thing. I just think that there are some people who feel better about themselves shaming others for the same insecurities that they themselves deal with however, Create-the perception that only the weak feel those emotions.
I need to reup
TWINSIES
The struggle is real sis0 -
Thank you. Great flick1 -
I have insecurities, I'm human. Depending the person, situation or environment I'm sometimes ok talking about it.
But I don't like when it's used against me to manipulate me or take advantage of me. That's a reason I would shy away. I bet a lot of people would.1 -
No I agree in its entirety. Insecurity is a part of human nature. I feel more comfortable when we can communicate our insecurities whether it’s weight, not being able to budget, not knowing how to do something, I just feel it’s healthier to be able to speak on issues and actively find solutions to resolve them. But what I know about insecurity that’s not always easy and the last thing we need is to be judged for our flaws0
This discussion has been closed.
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