Sometimes, All You Think About is the Negative. (Photos Encouraged)

However this is not one of those moments for me. hehe sorry for the clickbait (;

Let me share a little backstory.

I'm sure like a lot of ya'll on this site, weight is a daily struggle. In some cases a constant, always been a problem struggle. I've been overweight for almost as long as I can remember, outside of a few short-lived years when I was around 18-19 years old.

I remember that time clearly in my head; It was the first time I had ever been in my opinion, slim. I was around 145 at my lowest. But the funny thing was.. I wasn't happy. It wasn't good enough. Because in my head I was always going to be the fat friend that no one liked. But the problem wasn't my weight. It was my mentality. To be honest I don't think any size would have made me love myself, or think that I was good enough.

Over 6 years I put on a staggering 88lbs, and I spent so long trying to do these quick fix yo-yo diets that always left me right back to where I started.. or higher.

I would like to share a success at this point of the story. I'm literally .2lbs away from being out of the 200s, but that .2 lbs isn't going to change how I look in the moment lol so I'm too excited to wait.

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I found this photo in my camera roll from when I started last August. And it really shook my reality a little bit. I thought that I had lost nothing.. but honestly I can see the difference. I'm not at my goal yet, but it really motivates me to push forward.

I had considered also sharing a photo with ya'll of the time period when I was at my lowest around 18 years old, but I have opted to leave it out for the simple reasoning that I am no long going to let my past, including my past weight good or bad, hold me back from being who I am right now.

But I feel like that's something that we do a lot, right? We hold on to the small moments of when we thought things were better, even if it didn't feel that way at the time, and kill ourselves with guilt and shame over things people say to us (to our faces or behind our backs), and more importantly the things we say about ourselves.

"How could I have put on so much weight, I'm so weak."

"This weight is never going to come off, what's the point in trying?"

ETC. ETC.

But really guys.. stop. Stop putting yourselves down. Because you know what? Good or bad that weight gain or weight loss is part of your stories. It's tied to your experiences. It's connected to your hardships and struggles.

And the fact that you are here trying to either put weight on, or take weight off makes you a goddamn hero in my book. So congratulations on your journeys. Continue busting your *kitten* doing what you're doing.

Feed your body right, but don't forget to feed your soul too. Don't jump on some quick fix diet that will leave you crushed later. Embrace yourself right now, however you may look, and push forward to a healthier, sustainable you.

Please feel free to share your thoughts of wisdom, and uplifting messages/photos. (:

P.S. Sorry for the HELLA long post. Sometimes you just need some love though <3

Replies

  • khlokins
    khlokins Posts: 31 Member
    L.O.L. I love how it turned my profanity into *kitten*. Too good. xD
  • Mads5715
    Mads5715 Posts: 17 Member
    I don't necessarily have something inspiring but rather a question for you because you've come to a better mentality. I've noticed in myself recently that my issue isn't specifically weight-related. It's more of a confidence issue. I had to look at myself honestly in the mirror the other day and realize 'I'm not fat. I'm not ugly. But I'm not happy with my appearance.' I feel like no matter what I wear I just can't see myself in a reasonable light. What suggestions do you have for building confidence in yourself no matter what point in your journey you're at? I'm sorry if I'm intruding on your post but I couldn't help but feel that maybe you'd have some advice based on your story.
  • khlokins
    khlokins Posts: 31 Member
    Mads5715 wrote: »
    I don't necessarily have something inspiring but rather a question for you because you've come to a better mentality. I've noticed in myself recently that my issue isn't specifically weight-related. It's more of a confidence issue. I had to look at myself honestly in the mirror the other day and realize 'I'm not fat. I'm not ugly. But I'm not happy with my appearance.' I feel like no matter what I wear I just can't see myself in a reasonable light. What suggestions do you have for building confidence in yourself no matter what point in your journey you're at? I'm sorry if I'm intruding on your post but I couldn't help but feel that maybe you'd have some advice based on your story.

    Honestly, I'm not perfect. I have in the past, and still do struggle with my body and my looks.

    But something I try to remind myself is that my body is my own. It's not going anywhere, it's not going to look like girls in magazines.. but it doesn't mean it's not beautiful.

    I think what's helped me, is keeping myself in that mindset, and eating and working out in a way that makes me feel like I've done right by my body, but is also something that I enjoy. I noticed when I started doing that, I started gaining a positive mentality towards my outter appearance.

    It's a daily battle for me too, and I completely understand. Sometimes you just gotta tell that little voice to eff off, and that you're beautiful for so many reasons, inside and out.

    Also.. pro tip: when you look in the mirror, stop finding flaws and start looking for the things you like in your appearance. It helps.
  • William54321
    William54321 Posts: 652 Member
    That is a wonderful observation. I myself never saw my weight loss for years though i lost 45lbs, i just suddenly noticed when i looked at a grad picture of my trainees and couldn't believe the difference in my own shape. Now its purely a health regime to stick too.
  • William54321
    William54321 Posts: 652 Member
    That is a wonderful observation. I myself never saw the weight difference until a grad picture of my trainees. Couldn't believe the difference. Now its all about keeping healthy, although my diet is seriously way off but i keep a check on cals