are men really more attracted by sight than women?

mrmarius
mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
according to conventional wisdom, men are supposedly attracted more so to what they see while women are supposedly attracted to personality. So accordingly guy sees gal and thinks she's beautiful approaches her, she likes his ''charm'' and they live happily ever after.... But how true is this really? Ive heard many women speak about how turned on they were at the sight of a man,or how they know how far things will go with a man just by looking at them. This seems to suggest that women are just as turned on by sight as men are maybe even moreso. Discuss...
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Replies

  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    I think it's all physical at first...if you weren't physically attracted to start with you would never approach them and get to know their personality. At least this holds true for myself....
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    And then there are some who are attracted because of success and money, regardless of physical appearance and personality.
  • sc1572
    sc1572 Posts: 2,309 Member
    In my opinion, looks do count for some, but I am much more focused on personality. :)
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
    I think it's all physical at first...if you weren't physically attracted to start with you would never approach them and get to know their personality. At least this holds true for myself....

    Yes it starts off by physical attraction, but more so when we get to know a man. Personally I love a "real" man who knows what he wants but is not a jerk. Pretty much like my hubby :love:
  • Shweedog
    Shweedog Posts: 883 Member
    The way I interpret that is this- both men and women are attracted at first sight. But a man will still pursue a women even if her personality is less than par, whereas a women will forgo the good time if the guy is an *kitten*.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
    The way I interpret that is this- both men and women are attracted at first sight. But a man will still pursue a women even if her personality is less than par, whereas a women will forgo the good time if the guy is an *kitten*.

    well said!
  • Yes, in general, but there are exceptions. What this means is in terms of sexual attraction, Men judge mostly on looks. They know in 10 seconds "Yes" or "No". Women judge on other things. If someone is WAY outside of what they'd go for, they can give a "Hell No" instantly, but there is a much larger range of guys who go into the "Maybe" stack and they have to get to know him better to know. Even if a man is attractive, a first kiss and some cuddling might have to happen before I know if attraction is there. For a man, if he's attracted, he'll do her even if she is stupid, bad kisser, whatever, as long as she made the "Yes" list in the first 10 seconds, it's more likely (but not certain) to still be yes.

    This doesn't mean that based on looks a guy knows relationship or not, but he does know about attraction more quickly based on looks on average than the average woman does. That is because we are deciding on other things, and part of it is how you treat them.
  • kcrojas630
    kcrojas630 Posts: 145 Member
    Yes, you have to have the initial physical attraction, but, at least for me, if a man is dull or just off in the personality traits, he then automatically becomes unattractive. Where I think men can overlook the personality for a little longer just to get some from a hot chick. I have been physically attracted to, then talk to them and wow... all of the sudden they are repulsive.
  • goron59
    goron59 Posts: 890 Member
    Maybe, but:

    "The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman – any woman – with beautiful legs."

    - Marlene Dietrich:
  • tn2010
    tn2010 Posts: 228 Member
    I think it depends on how you go about the pursuit. If you're in a bar, you pick the one you are physically attracted to. In my case, my relationships have always stemmed from my peers, so the attraction usually happens during the time I'm getting to know them in social circles, so the personality has come before the physical attraction.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    The way I interpret that is this- both men and women are attracted at first sight. But a man will still pursue a women even if her personality is less than par, whereas a women will forgo the good time if the guy is an *kitten*.

    This I agree with.

    You can obviously see on my face if I've spotted a good looking hottie...but if I were to talk to him (IF I were single) and he turned out to be a totaly doofus...yeah I'd be less likely to consider taking him home!
  • There are studies that show men respond more to positive visual stimulation (attractiveness, money, whatever) than women. Conversely, women respond more to negative imagery than men. This was all done by doing brain activity scans while subjects were shown assorted images. SO, that could be an argument showing that men are more effected by what they see and women are generally more turned OFF by certain things. Could account for what you are saying about women "knowing how far things will go" with a man (maybe they saw something they didn't like, but think hey whatever).

    From personal experience, I always went slightly by looks, but definitely much more by personality. I'm just lucky I got a guy with both :]
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
    I met Boyfriend on the internet. I fell for his personality before we met in person.
  • VegGrrl
    VegGrrl Posts: 336 Member
    Looks are usually what attracts me first (well, he has to catch my attention to find out anything more about him!), but I've also been attracted by voice (phone), and wit (online). If the hot man opens his mouth and says stupid *kitten* - he is instantly rendered incredibly ugly IMO. But it can work the other way as well - so-so guy turns out to be hilarious and intelligent, he goes up astronomically on the scale!

    I think some men feel the same way, but some women value looks above all else as well.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
    I think that all people have a minimum level attractiveness that a person has to meet before they get further thought. For people more attracted to a personality, a less attractive person can get past the intial eye test easier. For people more visual you would have to more attractive to pass the initial eye test.

    I think a person with a good personality can have success regardless of their looks if they can find a way past first impressions.

    Personally, I don't see too many women that I would consider so unattractive that I'd refuse them if they asked me out (if I were single of course). Other things might put me off though, like how they dress(to a point), how they talk (do they at least sound smart)...ect.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    And then there are some who are attracted because of success and money, regardless of physical appearance and personality.

    That goes for men and women, btw.
  • I think the differences between men and women in this department don't lie just in aesthetics. I think it is a combination of primal instinct--and societal allowances that men are allowed to ascribe to, that women can't as easily pull off without being admonished.
  • lookpretty
    lookpretty Posts: 276 Member
    When I look at a man it takes under one second for me to decide his financial situation, his attitude, his motivation level and his personal hygiene habits, in this first second most are disregarded, I can tell so so fast what I think of a man, then if at the end of that one second he is attractrive Im in for an introduction, but he has to go through a lot of points of inspection before my mind even is able to see if he is attraction, its like siiix paaa whoa hair, big should..... whoa are those shorts faded?, its very fast
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    I think it is safe to say that unless forced together in a situation such as work it is always looks that start things off with both sexes.

    After that it is the person and we are all different,some ladies live for the risky excitement of a "bad boy" even thought that rarely comes to a good result long term.
    Some guys are desperate for a trophy and if she turns out to be a b***h in mu opinion get what they deserve.

    I really don`t think many guys are really all about looks,I have known of some that were 10s but were so miserable or fragile just being with them would make you dread the next day.

    Probably being too idealistic but I want a partner and soul mate and that isn`t what is on the outside,it has to be the person.
    Physical attraction is part of that but a very small part that gets things going.
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
    I think it is safe to say that unless forced together in a situation such as work it is always looks that start things off with both sexes.

    After that it is the person and we are all different,some ladies live for the risky excitement of a "bad boy" even thought that rarely comes to a good result long term.
    Some guys are desperate for a trophy and if she turns out to be a b***h in mu opinion get what they deserve.

    I really don`t think many guys are really all about looks,I have known of some that were 10s but were so miserable or fragile just being with them would make you dread the next day.

    Probably being too idealistic but I want a partner and soul mate and that isn`t what is on the outside,it has to be the person.
    Physical attraction is part of that but a very small part that gets things going.

    I agree, Well said, Carl!
  • LeelaLosing
    LeelaLosing Posts: 237 Member
    i'd have to say it's a combination.....looks might (or might not) get me to look but they would rarely get me to accept a date if I think a guy has an undesireable personality.

    i usually get the most attracted to a guy when i've spent some time around him, get to know him, and then the looks usually kick that up even more! that's the fun part!!
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I think many women have so much more on their check list when looking for a man than men do. I base this on hearing so many woman talk about what they want and expect from a man, it seems to me men are far easier to please and have less expectations from potential partners.

    In answer to the original question I think we are all attracted by what we see.....then the checklists start!
  • ceebs9
    ceebs9 Posts: 511 Member
    When I look at a man it takes under one second for me to decide his financial situation, his attitude, his motivation level and his personal hygiene habits, in this first second most are disregarded, I can tell so so fast what I think of a man, then if at the end of that one second he is attractrive Im in for an introduction, but he has to go through a lot of points of inspection before my mind even is able to see if he is attraction, its like siiix paaa whoa hair, big should..... whoa are those shorts faded?, its very fast

    Huh?
  • superhippiechik
    superhippiechik Posts: 1,044 Member
    Looks draw me in and personality keeps me interested. I don't care how fine you are,if you are stuupid it is a deal breaker!
  • lookpretty
    lookpretty Posts: 276 Member
    When I look at a man it takes under one second for me to decide his financial situation, his attitude, his motivation level and his personal hygiene habits, in this first second most are disregarded, I can tell so so fast what I think of a man, then if at the end of that one second he is attractrive Im in for an introduction, but he has to go through a lot of points of inspection before my mind even is able to see if he is attraction, its like siiix paaa whoa hair, big should..... whoa are those shorts faded?, its very fast

    Huh?

    Thank you, that was a very helpful comment
  • ambermichon
    ambermichon Posts: 404 Member
    The initial attraction is physical...by sight but personality is oh so important. Who wants to look at a beautiful face and body on someone who has nothing to say or who is a jerk or has no sense of humor??!! PASS. However if you are not attracted to someone generally speaking you may never know there personality as there is no spark
  • ceebs9
    ceebs9 Posts: 511 Member
    When I look at a man it takes under one second for me to decide his financial situation, his attitude, his motivation level and his personal hygiene habits, in this first second most are disregarded, I can tell so so fast what I think of a man, then if at the end of that one second he is attractrive Im in for an introduction, but he has to go through a lot of points of inspection before my mind even is able to see if he is attraction, its like siiix paaa whoa hair, big should..... whoa are those shorts faded?, its very fast

    Huh?



    Thank you, that was a very helpful comment

    :laugh: Sorry. I truly had no idea what you were trying to say. So you can tell in under a second what someone's financial status is? His attitude and motivation? Really? Come on now.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    When I look at a man it takes under one second for me to decide his financial situation, his attitude, his motivation level and his personal hygiene habits, in this first second most are disregarded, I can tell so so fast what I think of a man, then if at the end of that one second he is attractrive Im in for an introduction, but he has to go through a lot of points of inspection before my mind even is able to see if he is attraction, its like siiix paaa whoa hair, big should..... whoa are those shorts faded?, its very fast

    Huh?



    Thank you, that was a very helpful comment

    :laugh: Sorry. I truly had no idea what you were trying to say. So you can tell in under a second what someone's financial status is? His attitude and motivation? Really? Come on now.

    Where does one acquire skills to determine someone's financials in less than a second... since it takes full second to determine other factors such as 'tude, motivation and hygiene (ewww :S)? Just curious?!?

    I think initially women are just as visual as men are. We like what we like, but it's not a deal maker or deal buster. A man may have Miranda kerr as a girlfriend, but thinks Adrianna Lima is better. Nothing is ever #goodenough! A woman wants <insert hottie of the the week> but settles for neil Patrick Harris....
  • mdfeller
    mdfeller Posts: 135
    I think there are many ways to answer this.

    In the "happily ever after" it's not just about looks, but does play into it at least 35%. The rest is personality I guess. How he treats me, etc.

    In the "physical" aspect, it could go either way. For instance, at one point in time, if there was a sob story, such as a guy being deployed and not getting laid in 8+ months, looks wouldn't really matter if alcohol was involved, so it would purely play on personality. -OR- if a guy is totally hot and looks like a good lay, then personality wouldn't matter. Which I think the same could be said for guys?

    So in answer to your question, I myself being of the female gender, would be considered to the view that women can and definitely are like guys sexually.
  • Attractiveness is very subjective. What is attractive to one is not to another. I am attracted to eyes first. Then personality. Then the rest of the body. I am more attracted to a average looking man but not a muscular one. Not sure why. But that's just me.
This discussion has been closed.