Starting Over

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therealklane
therealklane Posts: 2,172 Member
edited July 2018 in Motivation and Support
Hey guys!

I have been on MFP since March 2014. Between the time I joined and ~October 2015, I lost 145 lbs with the help of MFP, working out, and eating properly. When I joined MFP, my purpose was to lose the extreme excess weight and push myself hard enough to be able to pass fitness tests for a job in law enforcement. In October 2015, things started to head south. I began having extreme stomach pain and no one could figure out what was wrong until I had exploratory surgery and it was determined to be appendicitis. Since then, I have struggled beyond measure to try to lose weight. In fact, I essentially gave up after September 2016 when I had a second surgery to remove a mass from my back that was pressing on spinal nerves (benign).

Somewhere between the rejection from law enforcement agencies over my inability to pass a FT due to push ups and recovery from surgeries, I just quit. I would go to the gym from time to time, but I would come home and binge eat. I quit working with my trainer. It turned into almost nightly binges and no activity whatsoever. Excuses, I know, but there was a lot happening and I turned to food when I should’ve turned back to exercise.

Today, I have gained all but about 15 of the 145 lbs I’d once lost. I have been every emotion between depressed to angry and disgusted with myself. However, I have decided that it’s time to move past all of this and start from scratch. I am now actually working law enforcement and need to lose all of this weight again, not only for my health, but for the safety of myself and those with whom I work. I also am getting married next year some time (date not yet set in stone) and would like to be at least close to where I was before it all hit the fan. SO. I am here for motivation and friends who can provide motivation and a good kick in the *kitten* when necessary throughout my continued journey. I promise to do my best to provide the same.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

ETA: previous progress pics and then a pic of me from a friends graduation last month. Doing this from my phone so...sorry if it’s messed up.

Replies

  • therealklane
    therealklane Posts: 2,172 Member
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    That’s so true. I say that to myself all the time. I just need to truly believe it.

    I also need to get over my fear of going back to the gym. I have been walking and working out at home, but I need to force myself to walk back through those doors.
  • MELinTexas2018
    MELinTexas2018 Posts: 23 Member
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    hi girls - i'm kind of in the same boat. lost so much, then gained it all back + more.
    at this point i need to lose about 75 lbs.
    i will try to add you. good luck with your journey and congrats on your wedding next year! :smiley:
  • klorben
    klorben Posts: 16 Member
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    I hear you. I lost 85 pounds about four years ago, and after some massive life upsets (divorce, death of mother and brother) I gained close to 60 pounds back. Now I’m back and trying to find all that motivation I had before.

    I still attend the gym (definitely not as much as I used to), but it can be awkward because it’s a smaller gym where everyone knows everyone... so these people have seen me “skinny” and now
    I feel gross and like a failure when they see me.

    I’m really just trying to take it one day at a time at this point. I have all or nothing thinking, which kills my progress. I started making “just for today” goals. I type them into the notes section on my phone... like “just for today I will not eat ice cream after dinner”. It helps to think I only need to hit the goal “just today” and it isn’t so overwhelming in thinking “I can never eat ice cream again!”
  • DarkTwain
    DarkTwain Posts: 130 Member
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    I lost 60 lbs, a few years ago, 35 last year and here I am taking some "before" photos again. Now I'm nearing 30 it's only going to be harder to get off if I gain again. It gets frustrating because I know I kept some good habits but it's not showing as quickly this time. I'm back here because being active on MFP was something I was doing in 2015, that I'm not doing now. Guess we'll see.
  • jenbehe
    jenbehe Posts: 110 Member
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    I'm in the same boat! Lost 50, gained back 80 over 4 years.

    Looking to go slowly this time and focus on health - not just weight loss. I didn't put the weight on in a month, and I can't take it off in a month.

    Feel free to add me!
  • mkjjjjerj3
    mkjjjjerj3 Posts: 4 Member
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    Hello,

    Same boat ... first congrats on the upcoming wedding and your recommitment to health.

    Returning after a layoff and a regaining of 40lbs Ugh! Went through a program including medication and counseling and the gained it all back. Nothing fits anymore and more and more folks comment on my weight gain. UGH!!!!

    I am a volunteer fireman and the weight is getting in the way...need to lose some pounds.

    No living in the past just need to focus on the future.

    We lost before and we can all do it again..we have the support of the community which makes us stronger.

    Happy to have a supporting community to return to. Wishing everyone all the best and looking forward to supporting the community.

    All the best!
    Joe
  • thisPGHlife
    thisPGHlife Posts: 440 Member
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    Lost 73 and put back on almost 100. For the number of people in this boat, it must be a luxury liner. Where are we taking a cruise to? 😁

    I may be won't but it seems like what helped to motivate you in the past is having a goal. While you still have a long term goal, your wedding, what are the smaller goals that will get your there? Once you've achieved the goal of being x weight for your wedding, what's your next long term goal and what are the short term goals that will get you there?

    And they don't all have to be weight based goals. I'm fact, once you reach a certain point, you should only have the weight based goal of maintaining (unless you want to put on muscle but regardless, you're going to eventually got maintenance). Why not set goals for achieving something in a sport you like? Or set a goal for trying new sports? Or setting a goal for being the fastest at something or being able to do the most of something? If you're into hiking or running, I know near me there is a distance hiking challenge every June and a hiking based Ultra marathon every August/September. You could also get into things like mud runs or Spartan Race.

    You can do this. You are amazing. You are a wonderful, strong, successful person. I believe in you.
  • pookajunebug
    pookajunebug Posts: 38 Member
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    Hey lady,

    So many of us know how you feel in regards to losing weight and then re-gaining it due to the stressors of life, no matter what they may be. Let me tell you though I applaud your strength and courage to share your story here with us! It's fantastic that you've met your goal of pursuing a law enforcement career, and as the wife of a former police officer, I understand how important it is to be in top physical condition for your job. My wife was a police officer in the Army and then as a civilian and the book work is just as important as the physical work in law enforcement. First responders are prone to back injuries so it's imperative to have as much strength and flexibility in that area of your body, especially as a LEO when you don't know when or how you're going to have to fight for your life.

    Feel free to add me here on MFP! I am looking for motivating friends as well and we need all the support we can get! You can do this!!

    PS. Thank you for your service to your community. #bluefamily

    Jess
  • MELinTexas2018
    MELinTexas2018 Posts: 23 Member
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    jenbehe wrote: »
    I didn't put the weight on in a month, and I can't take it off in a month.

    ^^^i need to remember this^^^
  • ThatFunnyFatGurl
    ThatFunnyFatGurl Posts: 18 Member
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    Here's to fresh starts! Feel free to add
  • therealklane
    therealklane Posts: 2,172 Member
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    Thanks for the comments everyone. It is hard to remember that we didn’t put the weight on in one day. It’s also important to remember that we will have days that aren’t great (like I did yesterday) and that’s okay. It is just one day or one meal and it doesn’t define the rest of the week.
  • MELinTexas2018
    MELinTexas2018 Posts: 23 Member
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    therealklane wrote: »
    Thanks for the comments everyone. It is hard to remember that we didn’t put the weight on in one day. It’s also important to remember that we will have days that aren’t great (like I did yesterday) and that’s okay. It is just one day or one meal and it doesn’t define the rest of the week.

    i once read this:

    don't let one bad meal mess up your whole day.
    don't let one bad day mess up your whole week.
    don't let one bad week mess up your whole month.
    don't let one bad month mess up your whole year.
    don't let one bad year mess up your life.
    it has helped me over the past couple of weeks. there are times we WILL FAIL. it's Ok. we're human. <3<3<3
  • kvlaughlin1
    kvlaughlin1 Posts: 7 Member
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    I've lost 125 lbs in the past and gained all but 25 pounds back before. At the time, I thought I would NEVER let myself do that. I was done. I was done with dieting...and that's just it..mi didn't make the life changes even though I had doesn't it for over a year. Now, I'm back to having a long journey to getting myself back in shape. I have more at stake now.

    I'm here for motivation and support too.
    Feel free to add me as a friend on here.

    This entire journey can be difficult and discouraging but it is the support we have to help keep us motivated. Good luck! I know you can do it (you already did it once, you can do it again!)
  • therealklane
    therealklane Posts: 2,172 Member
    edited July 2018
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    kvlaughlin1 wrote: »
    At the time, I thought I would NEVER let myself do that. I was done. I was done with dieting...and that's just it..mi didn't make the life changes even though I had doesn't it for over a year.

    I vividly remember my mom saying “maybe you should keep some of your clothes just in case” and my reply was “I am NEVER going back to that.”

    It is really hard to think about those moments and why I let all of my hard work go. I dwelled on it for SO long and kept thinking “if no one is going to hire me, why am I working myself to death?” Then good things started happening. Now I am really seeing in my job that I need to be better physically.

    It has been a good week for the most part. I have logged everything, even the one night I had a mini binge. I got up the next day and kept kicking *kitten*.

    (Sent you a FR)

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