Where is that girl?

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Where is that girl that decided she was tired of being overweight? Where is that girl that followed a lower carb diet and lost 96lbs?

She's here... She gained 60lbs back over the course of 4 years..

My last baby was born in 2014 and i kept the weight off so well.. As my youngest started showing signs of developmental delay, I started to slowly eat and drink away the anxiety of it all....

Here I am today... Down 29lbs from my all time highest weight and so depressed about myself I don't want to be seen in public.

We have an official Autism Spectrum diagnosis for my almost 4 year old and he's doing very well in school, but I can't seem to get out of this funk and stick to any kind of heathy eating plan.
When will I stop feeling sorry for myself and love myself enough to get back on track??


I just needed to get this out... Thank you fit reading.

Replies

  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,477 Member
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    I didn’t decide I loved my 285lb self but I did decide I was entitled to basic respect same as any person. I decided that I was a worthy cause.

    We only get one life. If this isn’t how you want yours to go, it’s up to you to change it. But if you wait for a wave of emotion to come along and carry you in some other direction, it may never come. Like I said, I decided stuff. Then I decided I needed to stick up for my own decisions. You can.
  • bufger
    bufger Posts: 763 Member
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    For me one day I just wanted to be fitter. Not out of breath doing basic things, not sitting out of the parents race on my kids sports day, not missing social interactions because they were based on some kind of sport. I just didn't want to miss out and eventually it was enough to make a lasting lifestyle change and not just a diet.
  • hud54014
    hud54014 Posts: 3,777 Member
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    Hi... You didn't say how long ago the diagnosis was received, so I'm assuming it's fairly recent. If that's the case, you got a bomb dropped on you when you found out, even if you had prior suspicions. Coming to terms with learning your child has autism is an ongoing process and it takes A LOT out of you. My kiddo is almost 13 years old, and I'm still processing things as he goes through different stages of life. The only way I can describe it is a never ending emotional roller-coaster full of joyful wins and heartbreaking losses. It can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Like you, I also lost myself, and as a result gained quite a bit of weight. I'm halfway to my goal now.

    You also mentioned anxiety and depression. Those do not mix well with autism or weight management. See a doctor if you haven't. It can make a world of difference...

    Anyway, I think you need to cut yourself a break, give yourself permission to feel however you want, and if you haven't already, find some friends facing similar challenges. Do you have Special Olympics in your area or other sports programs tailored to special needs? If so, I would urge you to get involved. It's a lot fun and gets you outdoors meeting other people.

    All the best to you and your amazing child! Please feel free to add me, if you need an ear. :)





  • KatrinaDelRey
    KatrinaDelRey Posts: 100 Member
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    Girl, I feel you so much on this!
    My son got his diagnosis last year and it’s been a year of focusing on making sure he was getting the help he needed and making it through kindergarten. Now I realize I left myself behind in the process but we got this!
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,290 Member
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    You are being self destructive. Your young helpless children need a healthy alert mom who is in charge of her life and theirs. It doesn't matter if they have autism or not. And really .. especially if they have special needs, they need you even more.

    I understand this is a blow and it is hard and unexpected. But you can't let this rob you of your happiness and rob your kids of having a happy mom. Having a sad mom is zero fun.

    That girl is inside of you...shed the weight and the sorrow . You're a strong woman and things will get better.
  • arnnanz
    arnnanz Posts: 34 Member
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    Hugs to you. I’ve found Brooke Castillo’s The Life Coach School podcast really helpful for these feelings. Your son will be a star! I’m happy there is a trend towards the world recognising neurodiversity - though it’s tough parenting them.
  • PicNic00
    PicNic00 Posts: 269 Member
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    Thank you all so much for your kind words!
  • PicNic00
    PicNic00 Posts: 269 Member
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    He was diagnosed 4 months ago.. He's such a sweetie
  • PicNic00
    PicNic00 Posts: 269 Member
    edited August 2018
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  • auzziecawth
    auzziecawth Posts: 244 Member
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    Well I can’t say I understand what you’re going through just remember that you matter too. You’ll be much better able to take care of your darling boy the way he deserves and needs if you take care of your health mentally and physically as well. ❤️ Good luck on a journey that I’m sure will be equal parts rewarding for every hard moment. You got this
  • jumper120
    jumper120 Posts: 7 Member
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    I completely understand. I have 2 adult sons with autism who will live at home until we aren’t able to care for them. Food is my drug. I’m a stress eater and there is always a lot of stress. Seems like one of them is always having an issue and once that is worked out or the phase ends the other starts. This is the most I’ve ever weighed and I have a goal to lose about 50 pounds. Today marks my first week complete.