How do you make friends?

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Rworthy
Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
in Motivation and Support
How do you make friends? I have never been good at it. I meet people I get along with, then I obviously am too overbearing - I want to make plans to hang out again / exchange numbers / tell them to find me on facebook - they never do. I am always reaching out and no one ever reaches back. I think it's useless to try to make friends in your 30s. I can't live my life this alone all the time. I'm in a new place - been here for a year. I know people through my boyfriend's work, but the wives/girlfriends NEVER like me. I don't know why. I have been trying to figure this out my whole life. I try to make online friends, but they also just get sick of me and never post on my MFP or Facebook. I really just don't know what else to do at this point.

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  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    Just be yourself. Love those around you and just be kind.
  • krystonite
    krystonite Posts: 553 Member
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    Find a meet up group online for your area that caters to special interests. That way you know you're meeting people like yourself. When I first moved to NC I joined a meet up group for chess players and movie enthusiasts. It does help.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    I'll be your friend! It's hard to tell what might be holding people up from getting close to you... but making friends is really hard. It takes a lot of work on both sides to make adult friendships work!
  • Lemonaiding
    Lemonaiding Posts: 78 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel. I am a fairly enthusiastic person when I meet people I like. And the ones that respond the same way as I do are definitely the keepers. I want to be your friend! I'm going to add you.
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
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    Just be yourself. Love those around you and just be kind.

    Yeah..that definitely works for SoldierDad!!!! He rocks and is just about the sweetest cowboy around for sure.
    :wink: :love: :flowerforyou:
  • rufflestx
    rufflestx Posts: 76
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    I agree with 99.9% of what you are telling us. I like the idea of joining a group in the area from the meetup dot com web site. I believe it is nation wide. Keep trying
  • alicebud
    alicebud Posts: 72 Member
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    Volunteer with an organization you are interested in. It is amazing how moch you can find in common with someone even when you are doing something as simple as picking up litter along the roadside or stuffing envelopes.
  • LexieSweetheart
    LexieSweetheart Posts: 793 Member
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    I had this same problem but then I jopined a class at my gym and made a few there. I think just get out there like everyone else said volunteer, join a club meetup.com has lots of group activities where u can meet people
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
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    I don't lol. I don't have the opportunity. we moved to this area in 2008 and im a sahm so I don't have any adult interaction.
  • mpf1
    mpf1 Posts: 1,437 Member
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    h
  • ValerieofAvon
    ValerieofAvon Posts: 7
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    I understand .. relationships are tough. Just love yourself and do what you know is right. Keep being friendly and kind.:happy:
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Obviously I don't know you, but does the paragraph below sound familiar?
    Narcissism isn't the vain selfish characteristic portrayed in art and TV. It is a crippling condition that some of us have. It basically means that you don't listen much to other people, you just wait to tell your story. Even if it doesn't relate all that much to the conversation. its not easy to control. Its almost the opposite of stuttering.
    You have to practice listening and make sure to have interesting enriching experiences to share.
    As far as the wives of your husband's friends, who knows. They could just be *****y.

    Its great you are losing weight. That was a big gain you are recovering from.
  • sae1316
    sae1316 Posts: 70 Member
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    Try joining a club or group in your city or community like Rotary, Junior Women's League, a book club, church or volunteer at the hospital or animal shelter. Reach out to your neighbors. Keep your chin up and be your sweet self...you'll make friends :smile:
  • lucylou91
    lucylou91 Posts: 16
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    i'll add you :) x
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
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    Obviously I don't know you, but does the paragraph below sound familiar?
    Narcissism isn't the vain selfish characteristic portrayed in art and TV. It is a crippling condition that some of us have. It basically means that you don't listen much to other people, you just wait to tell your story. Even if it doesn't relate all that much to the conversation. its not easy to control. Its almost the opposite of stuttering.
    You have to practice listening and make sure to have interesting enriching experiences to share.
    As far as the wives of your husband's friends, who knows. They could just be *****y.

    Its great you are losing weight. That was a big gain you are recovering from.
    WTF? Okay. Right.
  • curlyjayne
    curlyjayne Posts: 120
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    hi please feel free to add me as a friend x
  • Rworthy
    Rworthy Posts: 271 Member
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    Thanks for all of your responses. I don't want sympathy friends. I want real suggestions on how to make friends in real life. Thanks. And I'm not a narcissist. Thank you.
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,396 Member
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    It's very hard to make friends as an adult and especially difficult if you move to a new city where the folks you meet have been around each other for awhile. Also a lot of adults are in different stages of their lives: married, married with kids, single, dating. Every stage brings about different interests and availability to be a friend. The best thing you can do is continue to put yourself out there by doing things you enjoy. Be friendly to people at the gym, volunteer for a cause you believe in. Make certain you aren't coming across as desperate though by trying to get a friendship going too fast. If you do the same class at a gym all the time, suggest to the instructor that you guys do a happy hour and offer to organize it or ask somebody you see there and chat with to go have coffee afterwards. It is difficult so good luck!

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