Would you let your spouse weigh you in?

Emily3907
Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
in Motivation and Support
Here is the situation:
Both DH and I are motivated about losing weight. I have much more to lose than he does, but he still wants to lose about 25-30 pounds (he has already lost 65). We are both very good about supporting one another, giving each other a little slack and neither of us is trying to guilt, control or manipulate the other about weight loss or appearance, etc. We both have more success when we have a little bit of accountability and so far, we have not really set up a way to be accountable, other than just discussing our highs/lows. Neither of us have anything to hide and we both already know approximately what each other weighs.

So, my question is, would you let your spouse witness your weigh in number, with the goal of having an accountability factor? I know I would probably push myself a little more, if I knew I was weighing in with my spouse once every so often (we are considering every two weeks).

My husband thinks this is an awesome idea and I do to, I just have more of a concern about this crossing some codependency boundary or creating a weird relationship dynamic that could lean unhealthy. I have no reason for concern as it stands right now regarding our relationship health. I know he would be nothing but supportive, as I would be for him.

Just wondering if you think it is weird, or if you would do it yourself.
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Replies

  • gallicinvasion
    gallicinvasion Posts: 1,015 Member
    I don't think it's weird; adding accountability can definitely help.
  • tbright1965
    tbright1965 Posts: 852 Member
    Yes, but I doubt she would let me see.

    I took a picture of my last weigh-in and sent it to her and my 20 year old daughter.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    I have shared my weight online, so I don't think it's a problem to share it with a spouse. You have to do what feels right for you. I think a good approach is to not make it into a big deal, just a habit.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    Considering you guys are already supportive and helpful to one another, I wouldn't bat an eye. I think it might be unhealthy if one partner was overly invested, demeaning, or otherwise obsessed with what their spouse's weight, but your situation is nothing like that.
  • C_Stretton
    C_Stretton Posts: 201 Member
    I don't think there's anything weird about it; my husband in my biggest supporter in just about everything and I do the same (I hope) for him. Getting healthy together is no acceptation. He knows my scale number I know his.
  • Emily3907
    Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I have shared my weight online, so I don't think it's a problem to share it with a spouse. You have to do what feels right for you. I think a good approach is to not make it into a big deal, just a habit.

    Valid points! We would probably make it a habit. Like every other Tuesday or something like that. Just a quick hop on the scale and move on with our day (maybe with some compliments thrown in there <3 )
  • AKTipsyCat
    AKTipsyCat Posts: 240 Member
    Not weird at all if you have a healthy dynamic, *team* approach to weight loss.
  • sublimerain9642
    sublimerain9642 Posts: 8 Member
    What a good idea!
  • steveko89
    steveko89 Posts: 2,223 Member
    It definitely helps me when my wife is on-board with my goals. It doesn't always work out to be logistically advantageous or efficient but we do best when we grocery shop together to stay accountable for the type of foods we bring into our home. Our support for one another usually takes the shape of "let me do <random household task> for you so you can <exercise activity> while I do so" rather than watching each other the scale. Granted, some of that stems from me being a data junky and weighing myself everyday while I can remember 2-3 times my wife has weighed herself in 5+ years of marriage. Philosophically, it comes down to ensuring the process is in place rather than using scale results as the critical control point.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    We already know what we each weigh. I don't think weighing in with him would be a motivating factor for me, personally.
  • mulecanter
    mulecanter Posts: 1,792 Member
    If you are both attacking the same goals it seems ok. Mutual support is great. If one of you reaches goal or quits it becomes more dicey as the others' progress could become tacit criticism. Keep communicating.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,532 Member
    No.
  • lsutigerscage
    lsutigerscage Posts: 26 Member
    My husband and I are both in this journey together. Every Saturday, the first thing we do in the morning is weigh ourselves, and then take each other's measurements. He measures me while I enter my numbers into my body measurement app, and then I measure him while he enters his. It keeps us accountable; and for us, it's about supporting one another and really working at this as a team.
  • Emily3907
    Emily3907 Posts: 1,461 Member
    lsutigerscage wrote: »
    My husband and I are both in this journey together. Every Saturday, the first thing we do in the morning is weigh ourselves, and then take each other's measurements. He measures me while I enter my numbers into my body measurement app, and then I measure him while he enters his. It keeps us accountable; and for us, it's about supporting one another and really working at this as a team.

    Love that measurement idea! I always have a difficult time doing it myself and staying accurate!
  • CaffeinatedConfectionist
    CaffeinatedConfectionist Posts: 1,046 Member
    I would, but my boyfriend (I'm assuming you're not discrimating against us unmarried folk) would have to have to care first. Fitness is my thing, not his, or ours.

    But really... the man sees me naked (and vice versa). The number on the scale isn't going to tell us anything about each other that we don't already know.

    It sounds like you guys have a really healthy dynamic, so if it is motivating for you, go for it! I think it could be asking for trouble in relationships where one or both people are insecure or liable to get hurt feelings or give up if they don't lose as fast as the other person, or as fast as they expected
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I have always written my weight on the kitchen calendar every week. Dh can see it if he wants. Anyone who walks in can see the numbers I guess. I don't really do it with an idea that it will keep me accountable. It is just record keeping like I have done for years. I use the app too but still put it on the calendar right away.
    Dh does not weigh regularly or share his weight much. He is a healthy weight and if I saw he stepped on the scale asked how he was doing he would just give a more vague answer. I think he knows that he weighs less than me and it is a little more uncomfortable than if he were losing weight too or were bigger than me.
    I don't see a problem with sharing weight unless it leads to the partner commenting or advising too much.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I don't have a problem with my husband knowing how much I weigh. Even at my biggest. I mean, he saw me naked. It's not like he didn't know I was fat.
  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 834 Member
    I think this is fine! My husband and I knew each other's weight and he'd see when I got on the scale and I'd see his (I mean the scale was in the washroom so it wasn't like it was hard to see). We'd talk about our weights...

    In fact, when I hit a new low, I'm the first to bounce into the game room and shout to the room "GUESS WHAT?! I LOST MORE WEIGHT!"

    And when I see a trend upward, I'm all, "LISTEN I'M GAINING, WE GOTTA DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!" We share meal planning (I'm a terrible cook, but a mean dish washer; he's an AMAZING cook and hates dishes -- WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER).

    Anyway, I think you do you. Do what's comfortable and right for you and your relationship!

    Good luck!
  • LumberJacck
    LumberJacck Posts: 559 Member
    Yes, but...

    As you probably know, there are times when weight loss is successful, and there are times when it isn't. You may not want them to see how you are going when you're slowly gaining. Or maybe you do. But would you want them to see you slowly gain over a year with no reversal of course? Because I'm sure that most people here have been in that situation.
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    edited August 2018
    Yes. We're closing in on 18 years together, there is nothing to hide.
  • Candyspun
    Candyspun Posts: 370 Member
    I'm happy for anyone at all to see my weight number on the scales.
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
    Emily3907 wrote: »
    Here is the situation:
    Both DH and I are motivated about losing weight. I have much more to lose than he does, but he still wants to lose about 25-30 pounds (he has already lost 65). We are both very good about supporting one another, giving each other a little slack and neither of us is trying to guilt, control or manipulate the other about weight loss or appearance, etc. We both have more success when we have a little bit of accountability and so far, we have not really set up a way to be accountable, other than just discussing our highs/lows. Neither of us have anything to hide and we both already know approximately what each other weighs.

    So, my question is, would you let your spouse witness your weigh in number, with the goal of having an accountability factor? I know I would probably push myself a little more, if I knew I was weighing in with my spouse once every so often (we are considering every two weeks).

    My husband thinks this is an awesome idea and I do to, I just have more of a concern about this crossing some codependency boundary or creating a weird relationship dynamic that could lean unhealthy. I have no reason for concern as it stands right now regarding our relationship health. I know he would be nothing but supportive, as I would be for him.

    Just wondering if you think it is weird, or if you would do it yourself.

    Weighing in with my sibling with old family friends as witnesses benefitted me greatly when I was freight-weight heavy, for it forced me to maintain my calorie deficit to not disappoint "the community." Now, years later, presently on my cut, friends privy my weigh-ins, on the daily (AM), since we'd started our Dinner Group (where we take turns preparing and hosting a dinner, rotating from house to house, within our neighbourhood), committed to the same eating plan (dietary choice), readying ourselves for a sorority sister-friend's nuptials.

    Weighing in together as a couple, as each other's accountability partner, in your fitness & good health pursuits is a far cry from what is weird. Throughout these processes, we sometimes are our harshest critics. I have buddies who are equally accessible to my progress, for they're worrywarts - scrutinising my calories, my splits, my hydration, my workout(s) and my weekly weigh-in average. When committed to - Calorie Deficit + Resistance/Strength training + Other workout preferences, your weigh-ins should prove to be something you look forward to doing, with those who love you looking in.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,599 Member
    Would you let your spouse weigh you in?

    :lol:

    NO!

    My weight is my business, not anyone else's.

  • allison8668
    allison8668 Posts: 885 Member
    I don't care who sees my weight anymore. I freely post it on here and talk about it. Now, 2 years ago was a different story.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    My husband and I have both prepped and competed in lots of bodybuilding shows together - we've been at each others weigh ins, skin fold measurements, in body scans etc, and regularly do each others skinfolds... Nothing to hide from him! Talking about results and how to go about achieving different goals is normal to us.
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    I blurt out my weight numbers to anyone who asks, be it loss or gain, even random strangers. I also know people who consider their weight number too personal to share even with the closest to them. It would depend on the person I guess? From your OP it looks like neither of you would feel violated, so I say go for it. If it starts causing too much pressure, you could always change the dynamics by simply telling him that it's not having the effect you hoped it would.
  • TeresaW1020
    TeresaW1020 Posts: 3,231 Member
    My husband is my best friend and my biggest supporter. I weigh every morning and write it down on a spreadsheet and he cheers when I lose and helps me figure out why I might have gained. It has really helped me to stay on track.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    my husband has no concept of what the number means and is only bothered when my boobs go!

    he is trying to gain weight so tells me what he weighs each week as i feed him!
  • leahcarnnachaos
    leahcarnnachaos Posts: 3 Member
    We actually weigh each other first thing Sunday morning but it's nothing to do with accountability, and everything to do with the fact that we're both short sighted and not usually wearing our glasses and therefore can't see or read the scale numbers when we're on the scales! It's much easier to have the other person read them, saves a lot of squinting. Even without that issue though, we'd know each others weight as we'd talk about it and support each others progress, and the occasional lack of (plus we're MFP friends!)

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