Compulsive eating, can't stop gaining

shovav91
shovav91 Posts: 2,335 Member
in Motivation and Support
The title says it all. I used to be super thing (see my profile picture) but I've had problems with compulsive eating for years but they've gotten progressively worse. I eat in secret, every time I pass the kitchen I grab something, I have no self-control and when I try to stop myself I literally begin to panic. I've gained 30 lbs this year. I feel so out of control and so lost and so hopeless. None of my clothes fit. I don't know what to do. I'm starting a new teaching job next week and I cannot let this run my life. I'm in therapy, but I can't seem to do what we discuss when I get home. I've literally thrown things in the garbage and gone back from them. I'm so ashamed and exhausted. Sorry for the rant, I just don't know where else to turn.

Replies

  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    edited August 2018
    What if you rephrase and regroup? Don't try to stop yourself, instead stop saying you have no self-control. Saying you have no self-control is giving up control. Have you told your therapist that you can't do whatever it is he/she advices you to do? Maybe your previous low weight is backfiring? Do/can you eat in company?
  • h1udd
    h1udd Posts: 623 Member
    hugs ! .... I know what you are feeling, I struggle with the same although I "fortunately" struggle with the other end of the situation and under eat to compensate, so I dont gain weight !

    It is ruining your life, but opening up about it is the step you need to progress .. you need to choose a better peer group though than an internet forum, you need people that actually care about you and will support YOUR way forward, not try and steer you towards there methods and ideas.

    What works with me .. not only for the Eating disorder, but the other hard to control emotionally driven irritations is giving them a personality and 2 books that have really helped have been

    (1) life without ed - eating disorder book
    (2) the chimp paradox - controlling emotional behavior.

    in both these books the author gives a personality to the disorder .. in the case of the first, she effectively breakes up and divorces Ed ! and in the second the emotional part of the brain is of course the chimp.

    by personalising these I can generally control them, ignore them and use them to my advantage .... although I have had situations stood in a supermarket, angrily chewing the skin off my fingers as I mentally have an argument with one OR both of them at the same time.

    I dont always get my way .... but its working enough to put the trend in my favour as I work out the real reason behind why I do the things I do .

  • h1udd
    h1udd Posts: 623 Member
    oh to add .... the reason I do what I do seems to stem from the ideas in this book

    (3) the subtle art of not giving a f**k

    its helped me loads to care about the correct stuff for me and stop feeling like an entightled, victimised narcissist
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,532 Member
    Agree that you first need to bring this to your therapist- that being that you can’t put into practice the things you decide at the sessions.

    Also agree that you may be able to change your actions if you change the way you talk to yourself.

    But that said- we’re just some folks pecking away on line. Talk to your therapist some more, it may be time to consider medication.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    I also agree that talking about this with your therapist is best but I'd also focus on what you said here: "when I try to stop myself I literally begin to panic." What exactly happens? Can you physically set the food down, walk away and either keep walking / pacing or sit quietly and breathe deeply and tell yourself the food will be there later if you really need and/or want it?

    Anxiety is tough to deal with but learning coping techniques that work for you would be a good start. I'm sorry you're struggling with this but keep working on finding some help.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    check out Brooke Castillo's book, If I'm So Smart Why Can't I Lose Weight. She also runs the Lifecoach school podcast, which as several really good episodes on emotional eating, based on a fairly straightforward think-feel-act "model" of (a) what you think leads to (b) how you feel, which leads to (c) how you act. She's a bit of a self-promoter, but her podcasts may give you some good insights, and maybe help you direct a conversation with a therapist.
  • jgdsf73
    jgdsf73 Posts: 41 Member
    h1udd wrote: »
    oh to add .... the reason I do what I do seems to stem from the ideas in this book

    (3) the subtle art of not giving a f**k

    its helped me loads to care about the correct stuff for me and stop feeling like an entightled, victimised narcissist

    Great read! I picked this book up in an airport last summer and finished it before my flight landed.
  • makkimakki2018
    makkimakki2018 Posts: 414 Member
    Maybe you can tone things down by making things less accessible. Stop bringing food thats easy to eat into your home. Make sure everything needs to be prepared. It'll take more out of your day to have to prepare everything each time you wanna eat thus maybe making you eat less? Just a thought.
  • vingogly
    vingogly Posts: 1,785 Member
    I don't keep tubs of ice cream or bars of chocolate in my house, because I know I'll be tempted to eat too much of it. If I want a dish of ice cream or a chocolate bar, I'll make a trip to get it. I have lower calorie options for snacking.

    For the behavioral side of managing your weight, I recommend Dr. Judith Beck's "Beck Diet Solution" (she's the daughter of Aaron Beck, who developed the cognitive-behavioral therapy approach). Her book is available at bookstores and Amazon. There are free resources available on her site, including daily tips and a newsletter:

    http://diet.beckinstitute.org/

    It's *not* a diet, it's a cognitive approach that will help you develop better skills and thought patterns. It will work with CICO, paleo, low carb, Weight Watchers, whatever approach you decide to take to losing weight. Your therapist can't force you to do things when you're not in session, you need to take responsibility for changing your own behavior.
  • ppencle
    ppencle Posts: 3 Member
    I'm having the same problem too. I can stick to my calorie plan while at work but, once I reach home, I scarf down everything (and anything) in sight. I've regained 7 of the 18lbs I lost. Any ideas of what I can do? I'm a married mom of two sons and I'm the only one watching my diet. :/:/
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    ppencle wrote: »
    I'm having the same problem too. I can stick to my calorie plan while at work but, once I reach home, I scarf down everything (and anything) in sight. I've regained 7 of the 18lbs I lost. Any ideas of what I can do? I'm a married mom of two sons and I'm the only one watching my diet. :/:/

    Are you eating enough during the day?

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