why is it so hard for me...

carbons2k
carbons2k Posts: 383 Member
edited October 1 in Chit-Chat
Im going on 31 in a month and I find myself thinking about it more and more. I dont know why its so hard for me to meet someone. I figured it was my weight, Im doing something about it and I feel great. Confidence is slowly coming, Im starting to feel good, look better... but for the life of me I cant meet someone worth a 2nd or 3rd date. I think im pretty easy going and im not picky at all. I can see beauty in just about anything or anyone. As I become friends with people on here I see how happy they are can cant help but to feel jealous, especially since everyone is younger than I am! UGH!!!!! I guess its bc im not built like brick *kitten* house, have huge arms, a 6 pack and awesome pecks....

Sorry just needed to vent..

the search continues!

Replies

  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
    I'd do you.
  • superflyrbi
    superflyrbi Posts: 80 Member
    I'd do you.

    /thread
  • carbons2k
    carbons2k Posts: 383 Member
    I'd do you.

    lol thanx! =-)
  • anna_lisa
    anna_lisa Posts: 486 Member
    awwwwwww. :-(

    this sounds cliche but is truely true. And may even seem counter intuitive. If you are not finding somebody you need to work on you. And this is what I mean::::

    We truely attract what we project. The best book I could recommend is called "Getting the Love you Want" By Harville Hendrix Read the first portion of the book (the second portion is for couples)

    Give up the search, focus on you. when you get to the point when you are truely and honestly content with who you are alone whether you meet somebody or not. Typically is when people find the kind of relationship that they could truely want and wish for.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    31? You're just a kid! LOL

    It must be frustrating for you, but don't get stressed about it; life has a habit of throwing nice surprises at you when you least expect it. :smile:

    Oh, and don't get hung up on the six pack thing. Take a look around you, probably less than 1% of the male population can claim that, and it doesn't stop them forming satisfying relationships.
  • Bmoviemama
    Bmoviemama Posts: 90
    It's hard to find quality people you give with. I've been married 3 X and engaged 3 times (currently engaged) and it's hard
    to find that special someone (especially being a 40 year old chick into comic books and video games!!!) Try online dating
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    It's just hard to date these days. I have lots of friends who feel the same as you. Don't give up. Keep dating and I am sure you will come across someone who is worth a 2nd or 3rd date!
  • stronglikebull
    stronglikebull Posts: 402
    change your nipple piercing reward to something else and i'd do you too.
  • Bmoviemama
    Bmoviemama Posts: 90
    31? You're just a kid! LOL

    It must be frustrating for you, but don't get stressed about it; life has a habit of throwing nice surprises at you when you least expect it. :smile:

    ^ great response ;)
  • kendradl
    kendradl Posts: 595 Member
    If I was single, a couple of years younger and lived in your area I would ask you out :love: You are totally cute and seem really nice, take your time and find the right person - she will show up eventually :flowerforyou:
  • Mariposa187
    Mariposa187 Posts: 344 Member
    I'd do you.

    sounds like someone thinks ur :smokin: hot

    I think it just takes time. I was friends with my husband for two years before we started dating. I don't know if your religious but I always told myself that in time God will show me who I am meant to be with. You usually find someone when you least expect it. Just keep working on being happy with yourself and before you know it your special someone will appear
  • krlaws2
    krlaws2 Posts: 47
    It's not about looks. Let's be honest, there are a lot of unattractive people in happy relationships. I agree with pp and look at yourself and look at the women you are choosing to date. Confidence is very appealing, so work on your self-confidence and you won't be able to keep the women away from you.
  • carbons2k
    carbons2k Posts: 383 Member
    change your nipple piercing reward to something else and i'd do you too.

    its just something i wrote. I dont think id actually do it!

    I dont drink so going to bars and clubs really isnt my thing. Most of my friends are married and have kids so going out consists of going to someones house for a bbq or just to chill. I dont think id have a lot of confidence at least for another 20lbs. I always get the your "your cute" but then I suggest dinner or something and theyre always busy. I guess your all right... i gotta do me before I can be out there...
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    Where you are looking may have something to do with it as well.
  • Emilyannewithane
    Emilyannewithane Posts: 48
    Honestly, sometimes you just have to be brave and ask someone out! How many people have you asked out lately? You might be missing out on someone amazing because you don't ask....
    So, ASK.
  • carbons2k
    carbons2k Posts: 383 Member
    Honestly, sometimes you just have to be brave and ask someone out! How many people have you asked out lately? You might be missing out on someone amazing because you don't ask....
    So, ASK.

    lately.. 2 people. 1 girl has been canceling for 3 weeks (shes done) and another one told me shes busy all week probably next week is good. This the story of my life!
  • tmiqueen
    tmiqueen Posts: 254 Member
    You're on the right track with losing weight and feeling great! It's a great way to love yourself. Believe me, if you can't be happy with yourself, you'll never be happy with anyone else either.

    I'm 37 and I've been divorced for almost 15 years now and have had minimal success. I wouldn't consider myself picky by any means, but I like a guy who has a good sense of humor, a positive attitude, financially able to take care of themselves (read: not looking for a sugar mama...lol), intelligent, thinks of me above his friends (and sometimes himself) and takes care of himself.

    I could give a crap if a guy has muscles because that usually translates into "he's more into himself than he will ever be into me" or "he must be lacking somewhere else (cough) if he feels the need to spend hours at the gym trying to get buff". I just like a guy to be healthy and take care of himself (daily showers, clean teeth, uses deodorant, doesn't eat gastronomial toxic waste...etc).

    I've met and dated some drop-dead gorgeous men in my life, but I'll tell you what...if they don't have the personality to back it up, all of that hard work they go through is meaningless. They were so good looking, but the more I got to know them, their personalities are what made them ugly in my eyes. I've also dated some...."quirky" and "non-traditional" looking guys and they've been some of the nicest men I've dated. Their personalities were infectious and enjoyable to be around. They had self-deprecating humor, without sounding like they were talking down on themselves in a negative way.

    I've also gone out with a guy who I'd consider a great friend and "nice guy", and not a super male model by any means, but his biting wit made him attractive to me. Unfortunately, he was always so down on himself and complained about everything that it made it depressing to want to be around him. The negativity was just too much for me. If he ever changed his "Dougie Downer" attitude, I might rethink it.

    Just some things to chew on.
  • carbons2k
    carbons2k Posts: 383 Member
    Yea, I try not to get down on myself, but sometimes I just think and Im like "WTF is wrong with me!" I kinda wish I started this in January so I could go to the beach in the summer. At this rate itll be november when I hit my goal weight lol
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
    STOP LOOKING, seriously it sounds cheesey as hell but I wasn't looking and I found my OH and he was right under my nose in the disguise of a friend the whole time, we have been together nearly 2 years.

    Take some you time, like people are suggesting just get to know yourself again and stop putting so much pressure on yourself, 31 is not old!!!!

    Good things come to those who wait, look at me I am full of cliches tonight, think I have exercise endofins rushing around my head.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    lately.. 2 people. 1 girl has been canceling for 3 weeks (shes done) and another one told me shes busy all week probably next week is good. This the story of my life!

    Errrrr, isn't this called just being a man? Lots of us have gone through this or will do. Some women are flaky you know?

    But let's be honest here. If a women is attracted to you this dance is very, very easy. If you call she will make time for you and a date. If you are at dinner she will invite you back to hers for a drink. If you go for the kiss her hand will find your belt buckle...

    To improve the odds in your favour you simply have to make the most of what you currently have. If you aren't at goal weight doesn't mean you can't dress well, smell nice, have great personal hygiene. If you don't have a huge amount of money currently doesn't stop you being creative or imaginative with the dates you go on. There's always something you can improve.

    Keep aspiring, keep reaching, keep striving. Never put your dreams outside of relationships on hold because you get down about not having someone in your life. If just....keep going... there will come a point when you realise you are playing with a strong hand, that the game is stacked with you not against you.

    At that point (if a woman hasn't snagged you already ;) you will have more female attention than you can possibly deal with. You know the sad thing? Sometimes it is a complete pain in the *kitten*...
  • carbons2k
    carbons2k Posts: 383 Member
    Thanx everyone... Looks like I gotta take it 1 day at a time!
  • angelicdisgrace
    angelicdisgrace Posts: 2,071 Member
    Im going on 31 in a month and I find myself thinking about it more and more. I dont know why its so hard for me to meet someone. I figured it was my weight, Im doing something about it and I feel great. Confidence is slowly coming, Im starting to feel good, look better... but for the life of me I cant meet someone worth a 2nd or 3rd date. I think im pretty easy going and im not picky at all. I can see beauty in just about anything or anyone. As I become friends with people on here I see how happy they are can cant help but to feel jealous, especially since everyone is younger than I am! UGH!!!!! I guess its bc im not built like brick *kitten* house, have huge arms, a 6 pack and awesome pecks....

    Sorry just needed to vent..

    the search continues!

    I'm probably way older than you. Hang in there!
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    I would try online dating!
    My husband and I met on WoW (World of Warcraft) and after sharing MANY hours in dungeons (yeah we are dorks) together... we sparked and now we are married and have a kid!
    You will find love when you least expect it and where you least expect it! DON'T GIVE UP!
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