every day will be a little bit better

Dyna18
Dyna18 Posts: 17
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
Just over a year ago, we lost our only child/daughter (she was 18) in a road accident. To say the least, our lives has not nor will it ever be the same. Thru this time we have received MUCH support and love from many of our friends. During the first few weeks after the accident .. i had a friend say to me .. "in time you will learn to control the grief, not let the grief control you." I remember looking at her, and thinking.. what the hell does that mean??. Over these last 12 months, i have come to understand what she ment. I'm in charge of my own life. The events and occurances that happen in my life, do not define who and what i am. Yes, i'm gonna have bad days, but .. the better days will eventully outweigh the bad. I have to get up in the morning and decide that today will be better. If i start the day off with a negative vibe .. i set myself up to fail (so to speak). I allow myself those bad days, i do not feel guilty, or beat myself up for them. I miss my daughter every second of the day, the daily reminders of life around me are heartwrenching and unspeakable at times. But what i have learned (and still learning) is that i am in control. I cannot allow what other people think, see, say .. affect my well being. There will be those in your life that are a positive effect, and those that unwittingly say and do things that are quite the opposite. Every day is a new day. I cannot look back and go thru the what ifs, or i shoulda's. I've learned to apply this to my grief.
Now, what i'm learning is i need to apply this to my well being. Every day is a new day. I cannot go back and undo what i did or didn't do yesterday. What i ate, wether i exercised or didn't. I can only control what i do today. I can control what i put in my mouth or what i do with my body today!! i get up in the morning and decide TODAY will be a better day. If i have a bad day or even a bad moment .. so be it. I'm human. Allow yourself that. Don't berate yourself cuz you surcomed to temptation. It happens. As you walk the path into your new healthier lifestyle, you are going to trip over a cookie or two. Get up dust yourself off, and continue striving for that new path. Eventually, every day will be a little bit better.

Replies

  • LeeLynnP
    LeeLynnP Posts: 116 Member
    Here is to a better day!
  • techymum
    techymum Posts: 168
    Dear Dyna18,

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. One cannot imagine your life now. Last weekend we attended a family/friends reunion hosted by our friends who lost their only son one year ago as well. She told me how hard each day is, and similar to you, tries to get up each day and move forward.

    Weight loss really seems insignificant to these things.

    Blessings to you.
  • BGabbart
    BGabbart Posts: 173 Member
    Thank you for posting, it must have been hard. You help me to see what I have been thinking but could not put into words. Today is what matters we can not change what has already happen. May God bless you on your journey and fill you with His loving peace.
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
    Wow, I would like to thank you for your post. I will admit, having an 18 year old myself, I couldn't even finish reading your first sentence. But went back to it and now feel so happy to know you are okay. You have made something about today different?better for me today after reading it. Everything is true and you had great words to say. You are an inspiration. Thank you again.
  • AHealthierRhonda
    AHealthierRhonda Posts: 881 Member
    Very encouraging words! I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the agony but you are obviously a strong person that manages to see the glass as half full, as I do. I lost my Dad 2 years ago to Cancer. It was pretty sudden, though we had 3 months to say all that needed to be said, which I am eternally grateful for.
    We do all have the choice to have a good or bad day when we get out of bed. We can look at the events of the day and dwell on the negatives or we can search for the positives and smile. I am very impressd with your outlook on life and your choices! You are making your daughter very proud! Thinking of you always (and anyone else that has lost a loved one)
  • HollyLLillis
    HollyLLillis Posts: 113 Member
    Thank you for your post and thank you for helping me understand that the things in my life I feel are so hard to bare really are not that significant when you see someone elses pain. I have a daughter who is 18 and going to college, today actually. I worry about her everyday and will everyday for a while... I've had other losses in my life within my immediate family and I can understand the grief but I know the grief of losing a child is the hardest to bare... my mother had to deal with it and I saw how hard it was for her. My thoughts and prayers go out to you; you are a strong person, I can see that and you are and will be an insperation to many people in your life!!
  • VeryKerri
    VeryKerri Posts: 359 Member
    Thank you for posting this. I have been so selfish and self centered in my thinking these last two weeks. Only thinking about the scale not moving and feeling frustrated and wanting to give up. The temptations to eat bad and skip the gym have been strong. After reading your post, I am so angry for allowing myself to even consider it. What I am going through is NOTHING compared to what others are dealing with. Its time I stop feeling sorry for myself and do what I need to do. In short, SUCK IT UP KERRI!

    I am so very sorry for your loss and I pray that your healing continues. And thank you so much for giving me a mental kick in the right direction.
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