Feeling alone

melissa2013m
melissa2013m Posts: 28 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's a struggle each & everyday for me. I have depression & anxiety. I'm currently a stay at home wife, I'm home alone all day long while kids are at school ages 6 & 8 and hubby's at work from 6am- 9pm, no adult interaction what so ever I don't have many friends people make me extremely nervous and can't talk because I feel so awkward plus I'm super shy, I also have no family close by to talk or spend time with so I literally ate myself to over 260lbs at 5'1ish because of loneliness & boredom. Yes I know that's no excuse for bad eating habits and have no one to blame but myself but it's truly hard and I hate myself for it. Now I struggle to even find the motivation to lose it. I need support & motivation!!! someone to give me guidance, just a friend I can open up to and vent my struggles too when I feel like giving up and crying.

Replies

  • mmnv79
    mmnv79 Posts: 538 Member
    Could you do some voluntary work to keep you active and meet other people? I have no family and I'm happy on my own. In fact, I need more hours a day to do all the things I would like to do in my spare time, genealogy, walking and listening to music, reading, crafts, swimming,...
  • dejavuohlala
    dejavuohlala Posts: 1,821 Member
    Fell free to add for support and motivation on this journey. Voluntary work is very rewarding, do you have hobbies? Take care
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
    Have you considered professional help? Social anxiety is usually treatable. Once you get to a functional level, it will be much easier to put yourself in social situations so you don't feel lonely all the time.
  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
    I don't have kids but I do know what it's like to spend all day alone in the house, sad and anxious. I was unemployed for a year and a half due to depression and I also put on a lot of weight. Humans are supposed to be social, I think it's the worst thing in the world for you to be lonely. And food is a comfort, you don't have to blame or hate yourself at all for looking for something to make yourself feel better but you know it's not a long term solution. Food never really fills that hole!

    I second looking for professional help, I didn't and I really wish I had. Pulling yourself out of a place like that is hard enough as it is without doing it without any support. I actually moved back to my mum's house at 27 because I just couldn't do it by myself. I will say that just getting out of the house was good for me. I started couch-to-5k, got headphones on so I didn't have to even hear another person and went for walks/ slow runs in a local park while everyone else was at work and I could cope with my social anxiety. Exercise isn't a solution to mental health problems but it certainly doesn't hurt, even just the fresh air and getting into a little routine was very helpful for me. Volunteer work (or even a part-time job?) while the kids are at school is also a good idea. The process of looking into it, make lists of possible places to apply to etc, is a good way to add some structure to your day to start with. Really the most important thing is just doing something, anything at all to get yourself started. Then you start building on it, teeny tiny steps at a time if necessary. You posted here and wrote all that out, you admitted you're struggling and that is a little step 1 already!
  • Klmom123
    Klmom123 Posts: 91 Member
    Being a stay at home Mom can be very lonely. I stayed home with all three of my girls until they were school age, and even then (and now) I only work part time . So there are still days where it’s lonely. If you can just find one person in the same situation as you it would help. Maybe a walking buddy or coffee date once a week. Overall I like being alone , but everyone needs to spend time with a friend once in awhile to break up the Loneliness and boredom. Good luck! Maybe this weight loss journey will help you not feel so isolated .
  • kimothyschma
    kimothyschma Posts: 209 Member
    I’m a stay at home mom, very familiar with the loneliness as well. Feel free to add me if you want! So sorry you’re having a tough time.

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