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Need to and want to lose weight but can’t seem to stick to anything
iwillnotquit78
Posts: 2 Member
Hi all,
So I wanted to come on here to get some advice/tips from those of you who are on a journey to losing weight and/or who have already lost a significant amount of weight. Every time I try to do a “lifestyle change” I never follow through or quit after a month or two in it. I’m always disappointed in myself and after months of just gaining back any weight I’ve lost and just eating junk I’m sick of living this way but at the same time I can’t seem to get started. I also feel like I have no motivation to start and the moment I see something I wanna eat that I shouldn’t I just lose it and go for it.
I’m so sick of living this way and I do want to change not only for my physical appearance but for my health as well! Please if any of you could give me some good advice I would appreciate it a ton.
Thank you!
So I wanted to come on here to get some advice/tips from those of you who are on a journey to losing weight and/or who have already lost a significant amount of weight. Every time I try to do a “lifestyle change” I never follow through or quit after a month or two in it. I’m always disappointed in myself and after months of just gaining back any weight I’ve lost and just eating junk I’m sick of living this way but at the same time I can’t seem to get started. I also feel like I have no motivation to start and the moment I see something I wanna eat that I shouldn’t I just lose it and go for it.
I’m so sick of living this way and I do want to change not only for my physical appearance but for my health as well! Please if any of you could give me some good advice I would appreciate it a ton.
Thank you!
3
Replies
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Start small, you don't need to cut out all food, CICO is great because you can eat whatever you want you just have to ensure it fits in your daily allowance.
For example, maybe every day you usually eat 2 biscuits, then make the new habit only 1 biscuit. Or every other day you go for a walk.
Don't overwhelm yourself by cutting out foods or starting an intense exercise regime, just pick one or two things that are easy to do/change and go from there.2 -
I think you're starting to get valuable insight. Being overweight, vanity, even health scares, isn't really enough motivation to lose weight. There are a few reasons, and I'm sure I'm not aware of every one yet:
You might be motivated to lose weight, but you don't just lose weight, weightloss is what happens when you eat less and move more, consistently, for real and for a long time, and that's what you'd need motivation for. As you're probably not eating too much with the purpose of gaining weight, just eating less is not something you'd want, be motivated for, just like that. You need to 1) be fed up with the lifestyle that's making you overweight, and 2) have a viable alternative.
Then some more on the forces that drives us to overeat: Most of us have ideas - more or less vague and restictive - of a proper diet. But the guilt when we desire, or eat something I wanna eat that I shouldn’t, can be so overwhelming that we start to eat, and overeat, exactly those things, for comfort, and for spite, and of course, just because we can. To stop separating foods into good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, and now, too, clean/processed, and just eat whatever we like in moderation, and enjoy it - while of course taking care to nourish ourselves properly - is so important to be able to manage weight.7 -
I found that eating twice a day works for me as of now. Maybe try experimenting with restrictions that fit your lifestyle? When I was eating more frequently, I found that I was hungry all the time and feeling deprived all the time!
2 -
iwillnotquit78 wrote: »Hi all,
Every time I try to do a “lifestyle change” I never follow through or quit after a month or two in it
...
I’m sick of living this way
You might be rationally sick of living the way you're living right now but it is comfortable and known to you. It's very very hard to step out of ingrained habits, especially if you try and go full lifestyle change all at once. You have a lifestyle now that isn't perfect for whatever reasons but it doesn't need to be chucked straight in the bin. Make small changes, very tiny, not scary at all changes that are easy to stick to then just keep doing that until you've pruned your current lifestyle into a lovely topiary of improved habits.
I would start with writing a list of the behaviours and habits you have that don't make you feel good about yourself. Tackle one at a time. Could be "Hey I have too many drinks on the weekend, lets try only having a couple" or "I get a LOT of takeout, I could look up how to make some fun dishes at home instead" or "I drive to the shop way too often, I should walk that 10 mins". None of those are hard individually but all at once, yikes.
5 -
I have had the most success just tracking my calorie intake without making big changes.
Over time I have made small changes like getting more protein, adding more vegetables, and increasing my activity. It took time. Prelogging my food for the day has been pretty helpful to making better choices.
I decided that drinking my calories did nothing for me satisfaction wise so drink very low or no calorie drinks.
Set a reasonable goal like losing 1 lb a week if you have more than 20 lbs to lose. A slower more sustainable plan is better than faster lost where you burn out and regain everything.
Don't give up a bunch of stuff. Start logging what you normally eat as accurately as you can for a week or 2. See where you are using more calories and where you can start tweaking. Make small changes over time. Get a food scale. Look at labels and nutritional information.
A lot of us get fat through consuming just a few hundred calories too much regularly for our activity level. Big portions, a fancy coffee drink, a bit too much peanut butter or guacamole, an extra helping at dinner, some extra bread and butter, a couple of extra cookies here and there. Logging can help you see where you might be doing tbat. A food scale can be very eye opening. An entire lifestyle change is not necessary to lose weight just making sure you are eating the right amount of calories for you. You do not have to be perfect every day. If you have a higher calorie day log it and move on.
If you are an emotional/boredom eater/drinker I highly recommend developing new coping tools.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10300319/most-helpful-posts-general-diet-and-weight-loss-help-must-reads#latest
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10359984/women-menstrual-cycle-weight-and-fitness-matters/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10575000/water-weight-gain-stop-panicking#latest
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10532249/do-you-eat-what-you-want/p1
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1234699/logging-accurately-step-by-step-guide/p1
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10563959/volume-eaters-thread/p17 -
Calculate a modest calorie deficit aimed at losing 1 lb per week. Get a food scale. And start a food diary. Try to hit your number.
You will soon find that to hit your number you have to have a plan. Plan each day and week. Set up a system of weekly weigh ins.
Always log everything into your diary, good, bad or ugly. If you don’t know how many calories is in a meal or dish, make a good faith guess and keep going. The process is more important than the numbers.
Always evaluate your program for 2 things. Do you have a downward trend over time at the scale? Are you satisfied with how you are living? If you get hung up on either point, the answer is determination, problem solving and patience. Not just throwing up you hands and walking away.
Weight loss is a set of things to do. Do not make the mistake of turning it into a set of don’ts. There is nothing you can’t eat if you can make the numbers work.
Try to start your plan around food that you like. Some high calorie favorites can possibly be modified to make them work. Some can be had in controled portions. Some you will eventually decide just aren’t worth the calories.
Consider how you will cope when discouraged. Never let your brain convince you that things are hopeless. Thinking like that is just an old bad habit. Yes, our brains have habits. Just because you do not instantly solve a weight loss related problem does not mean it is impossible. If your plan doesn’t work for a particular day or situation, make it better. Never quit.
6 -
iwillnotquit78 wrote: »Hi all,
Every time I try to do a “lifestyle change” I never follow through or quit after a month or two in it
...
I’m sick of living this way
You might be rationally sick of living the way you're living right now but it is comfortable and known to you. It's very very hard to step out of ingrained habits, especially if you try and go full lifestyle change all at once. You have a lifestyle now that isn't perfect for whatever reasons but it doesn't need to be chucked straight in the bin. Make small changes, very tiny, not scary at all changes that are easy to stick to then just keep doing that until you've pruned your current lifestyle into a lovely topiary of improved habits.
I would start with writing a list of the behaviours and habits you have that don't make you feel good about yourself. Tackle one at a time. Could be "Hey I have too many drinks on the weekend, lets try only having a couple" or "I get a LOT of takeout, I could look up how to make some fun dishes at home instead" or "I drive to the shop way too often, I should walk that 10 mins". None of those are hard individually but all at once, yikes.
Very sound advice here.0 -
What worked for me was changing my behavior in areas where I felt I could make a permanent change. Losing slowly while learning healthier habits. In the beginning I just ate smaller portions. for example 2 tacos instead of 4. Then I began to substitute things like corn tortillas for flour (50 calories vs 160 calories for the ones I used to use). I started spiralizing veggies instead of using pasta. Things like that but it had to be something that didn't make me feel deprived. Slowly I changed my eating habits. Take your time and don't feel like it's a race. If you can live with your changes you will lose and then find maintenance easier. Don't try to change everything overnight. Make small changes one at a time and if something doesn't work out don't quit. I still use sour cream for example while others use greek yogurt. I prefer sour cream and it's worth the extra calories to me. Find what works for you.
Finally the most important thing for me was logging what I ate and staying in my calorie allowance. Even if I tripped up and went over my allowance for the day I logged it. This was vital and I learned something from it. Often when I thought I'd really blown it and in the past would have continued eating because I ruined it anyway, I found it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. Logging keeps me sane and even though I'm in maintenance I still log EVERY day. I've maintained my loss for almost a year now.3 -
You don't need motivation. You need reasons to make the changes you need to make. Which you state you have.
Lots of great advice here. I'll add this:
When you start putting food choices into categories of things you should or shouldn't eat, you're asking for a world of trouble. It's not really about the what as much as it is the how much. Here's more on that:
https://wordpress.com/post/countcurtblog.wordpress.com/496
2 -
I was in the same boat and finally have found my stride. I found a gym that includes an accountability person on their staff that has been there to answer all my questions, cheer me on and just check in with. I could never keep up with going to the gym and working out by myself, but my new gym has group classes with varying levels of health and fitness but everyone on the same page about moving forward. This has also helped. I have struggled lately with sticking to my meal plan (also provided by my gym) because I have found it too easy and tempting to "cheat a little" which ultimately always turns into a lot. That's why I'm using MFP to track my eating because seeing numbers in black and white helps me resist temptation. Surround yourself with people who will help and motivate you. You CAN do this!1
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I read something once in some advice column that I've always remembered. It was about quitting smoking, but I've found it applies to my weight loss efforts -iwillnotquit78 wrote: »Hi all,
So I wanted to come on here to get some advice/tips from those of you who are on a journey to losing weight and/or who have already lost a significant amount of weight. Every time I try to do a “lifestyle change” I never follow through or quit after a month or two in it. I’m always disappointed in myself and after months of just gaining back any weight I’ve lost and just eating junk I’m sick of living this way but at the same time I can’t seem to get started. I also feel like I have no motivation to start and the moment I see something I wanna eat that I shouldn’t I just lose it and go for it.
I’m so sick of living this way and I do want to change not only for my physical appearance but for my health as well! Please if any of you could give me some good advice I would appreciate it a ton.
Thank you!
"Dear Advice Columnist: I've tried to quit smoking a hundred times, but I've always started up again. What should I do? - Chronic Coffin Nailer"
"Dear Nailer: Try again."
As long as I'm getting proper nutrition (i.e., eating enough calories and meeting my macros, especially for protein) and not losing too fast, trying again to lose weight can't hurt me.* But it could help me.
(*Repeated very-low-calorie rapid-weight-loss diets could hurt indeed me, but so could just doing one of those diets: they're a dumb and dangerous idea. Please always be sensible about your health.)
I started on MFP six years ago, and lost 30 lbs. Then my life went off the rails, and my weight loss efforts went with it. When I came back this time, I'd regained 25 of those pounds. But that's still five pounds I netted, and who's to say I wouldn't have gained even more by now if I hadn't worked so hard back in 2012?
My advice to the OP:
1) Look at why you want to do this: your physical appearance, your health, and because you're sick of living this way. Those are all very good and valid reasons.
2) Envision the future you'll have in say, three months; and in a year or two, if you stick with your weight loss plan. What will it look and feel like when you're on your way to, and when you're at, your goal? How will your life have gotten better?
3) Start small, maybe by just committing to logging your food, just for 3 weeks. Twenty-one days. Sixty-three meals and however many snacks. You don't need to make any further changes or promises for now. Just do that one small thing and see where it takes you.
Good luck!
4 -
My advice is take a before picture in your underwear...front and profile. Look at it every day. That's what I did at the end of December and I've lost all my weight. When I looked at my picture, I stuck to my plan..when I felt weak.. I look at my pictures ...and stuck to my plan.5
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Thank you all so much for your responses! I am definitely looking forward to implementing these tips into my daily routine and really sticking to this!1
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Aside from all the above advice, try and remember your WHY? Why do you want to get in shape? Why do you want to look a certain way? When times are hard, ask yourself and remind yourself.... Why? Good luck0
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