Diabeties Sucks

Being Diabetic sucks. Sticking my fingers hurts, injecting Insulin 2x a day is painful and expensive. Always following my Low Carb Food Program is hard. I am Hungry ALL the time. It makes me Moody and Grumpy....

But the Icing on this Poop Cake, I went to the Doctor today, I gained 4 Lbs instead of losing 4 Lbs as my program promised me I would. Welcome to the Wonderful World of Insulin.... I have had Zero Cheat day, my A1C is 5.5 down from 13. My average BS is 127, these number SCREAM She is Following her Program.... She is Doing Everything Right.... Still, she gained weight.....

So I ask myself, what is the Effing Point. I will have Diabetes the Rest of My Life. I will always have to inject Insulin, unless I get a Pump. No.. Thank YOU...

Is this how I want to live it??? Hungry, Moody, Grumpy??? Pissey??? I cant say if this is any quality of life, being chained to a Bottle and Needles or Big Pharmacy doesn't give that crap away.

What Really, Really Kills me are two (2) Things... I Worked my Butt off to make it through Grad School, all on my own... No Loans, No Grants, No Freebies and No Parents. Only to than work my Butt off for thirty (30) years at a job that could have cared less if I fell over dead. Was a single Mom to a Wonderful Daughter, only to lose her to the streets and Drugs finally got her in 2005.

Saved my money, invested in my 401K. Have a Great House. At a time when I should be enjoying the fruits of my labors, I am held back by this Ball and Chain. I didn't do this to myself, I Inherited this disease from my Mother.

Yes, this is me having a Pity Party. Yes, this is me saying Efff You Diabetes. Its my Pity Party and I will Cry if I want too...…


My Obit can read, she Died a Slow, Long Death from Eternal Effing Disappointment......

Replies

  • Diem78
    Diem78 Posts: 1,720 Member
    I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and angry. And I'm truly sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain of losing a child. Weight loss won't show on the scale every single week for every single person. There are all kinds of reasons why. Water retention being the main one I experience regularly. (Eating too much salt. Hormones. New exercise can cause it, etc..) I hope you feel better about things soon. If you keep feeling hopeless, it may be time to talk to a professional about it.
  • dbrichards107
    dbrichards107 Posts: 1 Member
    First, diabetes truly sucks.
    Second your A1c improvement is amazing.
    Third, for me it is super hard to lose weight while taking insulin but it can be done. I have to be active enough (according to fitbit) that I have a daily calorie deficit of more than 1000 calories per day. That is, MFP says my budget is 2700 calories but I eat 1700 calories.
    Of course every diabetic has a different story and I am sure yours will be quite unique. I hope other diabetics rally to support you.
    Fourth, consider doing sugar testing on your thigh. It will not give the same number as a finger stick (which I also hate) but if you consistently test on your thighs (alternating) you will be able to notice changes in how your body is responding to your lifestyle choices.
    I am not a professional, just a 30 year veteran. I hope you soon have happy days.
    All the best.
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,863 Member
    My sister is a diabetic on insulin and she struggles with her weight too. She's been using Weight Watcher and has had some success with diet and exercise, but not to the extent she wishes. But look at your A1C and blood sugar results! As you say they scream that you are succeeding. I understand your disappointment about the 4 pounds - but keep in mind that it may just be a temporary setback. I know it is hard, trying to meet the goals of diabetic diet, while following a low calorie diet can be frustrating, but it is possible. I hope things are much better for you soon.
  • goals15000
    goals15000 Posts: 18 Member
    Keep your head up amazing lady 💪❤️