Emotional Eaters, how do you cope?

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  • ZekeandKyliesMom
    ZekeandKyliesMom Posts: 71 Member
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    I have to practice this ALL the time with myself and my family...

    You are, no doubt, a good person - trust yourself.

    Be your ideal mom to yourself [the Ideal Mom is not a chocolate bar - it's someone/you who takes time to listen to you and to provide positive support mentally and physically]

    1. Halt and step aside to acknowledge you need an intermission.
    2. Consider what the issue is (frazzled, angry, shocked, lost...?)
    3. Take a deep breath and drink some water [like when the kid can't sleep an night, he comes out to the kitchen, has a glass of water, and then goes back to bed happy]
    4. Let yourself know it's ok to slow down...and breath!

    Emotions (depression, anger, love) and Work are mindless sometimes. It's good to bring yourself back into the mindful and aware condition (using your Ideal Mom) - then you will eat the things that are going to help you rather than the things that will thwart you (carrot sticks, berries, triscuits, bananas, apples, etc. whole foods that you could eat lots of!]


    That is amazingly good advice and something I had never thought of! Thank you!
  • ZekeandKyliesMom
    ZekeandKyliesMom Posts: 71 Member
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    The first step to curing this is to be AWARE OF IT! For example, I found out My Sailor is deploying. ALL NIGHT LONG I WAS OBSESSED WITH CANDY. But I know myself so I - #1 DON'T KEEP "Comfort" FOODS AROUND! Food is FUEL, not 'comfort'.
    #2 - RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I recognized why I so badly wanted the junk, and talked about it. It helped a bit.
    #3 - DISTRACT YOURSELF. If you can't resolve a situation that is causing you to feel stressed/depressed, then distract yourself with something else. Read a book. Surf the web. Go for a walk. Whatever. DO SOMETHING ELSE. It might not take your mind off food completely, but it'll keep you from caving.
    #4 - RESOLVE THE STRESS. if you're depressed and it's "normal" (such as suffering from loss, grief, a bad day at work), understand that you can ride it out and tomorrow is a new day. Understand that eating will only bring you down lower as it will pack on the pounds. You'll be "stuffing" your emotions instead of dealing with them (and I don't think anyone would choose the coward's way of hiding from a challenge, like feeling your own emotions). Understand that if emotions overwhelm you, you CAN get help, from friends, family, therapists, etc. You're not alone. If you're suffering from more difficult issues, GET HELP. Eating cures NOTHING but starvation. It does NOT fill emotional holes!

    So how did I cope w/ the deployment news? (Did I mention it's his first deployment and my first year living away from home - I'm from California, we're in Washington? Well, there ya have it). I decided how many calories I could afford to use and asked My Sailor to enjoy some ice cream with me. We picked one that fell pretty close to my calorie range and made the following rules: 1) We're eating this all tonight, or throwing it away. Either way, it's NOT sitting around the house. 2) We're going to do something enriching for us as a couple tonight as well.

    It turned into some great couple time and a board game (Zombies!!!). It turned a tough situation into a great night.

    Now, I can't "cure" the stress, but I can talk about it with others. And I do - daily. I try to make it positive and think of spending the holidays with my family in California, and how much we'll have saved while he's gone, etc. It doesn't make it easy. It'll never be easy. But it doesn't mean that I have to make the situation WORSE by pigging out 24/7. Because, let's face it, after he leaves I'll still have to look at my body in the mirror and be proud of the woman I am and the decisions I've made. Going backwards will only make it worse. Besides! HE DESERVES A WOMAN AT HER BEST while he's giving his all!


    This actually made me cry! I cannot imagine going through what you are, it takes a special person to be a military wife... I admire how strong you ladies are. I couldn't do it.
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
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    Thanks everyone!!!

    I think part of my problem is that I missed my walk today because I couldn't get out of the office, I have been stressed out this week anyway and tomorrow is going to be total chaos. Meetings and reports, ack! Its making me crazy just thinking about it.

    I would love to do kickboxing but I have no balance lol and no money for it. So wii rythm boxing it is. :) My mom and I are going out friday night so I am using that to help motivate, I have to be a good girl this week so I don't demolish my efforts friday.
    Try to take it one moment at a time. You can't help tomorrow, but you can take it one moment at a time. All you have to do is whatever the next moment holds. A MOUNTAIN is really daunting, but a climber knows it's all just one step at a time.
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
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    The first step to curing this is to be AWARE OF IT! For example, I found out My Sailor is deploying. ALL NIGHT LONG I WAS OBSESSED WITH CANDY. But I know myself so I - #1 DON'T KEEP "Comfort" FOODS AROUND! Food is FUEL, not 'comfort'.
    #2 - RECOGNIZE WHAT YOU ARE DOING. I recognized why I so badly wanted the junk, and talked about it. It helped a bit.
    #3 - DISTRACT YOURSELF. If you can't resolve a situation that is causing you to feel stressed/depressed, then distract yourself with something else. Read a book. Surf the web. Go for a walk. Whatever. DO SOMETHING ELSE. It might not take your mind off food completely, but it'll keep you from caving.
    #4 - RESOLVE THE STRESS. if you're depressed and it's "normal" (such as suffering from loss, grief, a bad day at work), understand that you can ride it out and tomorrow is a new day. Understand that eating will only bring you down lower as it will pack on the pounds. You'll be "stuffing" your emotions instead of dealing with them (and I don't think anyone would choose the coward's way of hiding from a challenge, like feeling your own emotions). Understand that if emotions overwhelm you, you CAN get help, from friends, family, therapists, etc. You're not alone. If you're suffering from more difficult issues, GET HELP. Eating cures NOTHING but starvation. It does NOT fill emotional holes!

    So how did I cope w/ the deployment news? (Did I mention it's his first deployment and my first year living away from home - I'm from California, we're in Washington? Well, there ya have it). I decided how many calories I could afford to use and asked My Sailor to enjoy some ice cream with me. We picked one that fell pretty close to my calorie range and made the following rules: 1) We're eating this all tonight, or throwing it away. Either way, it's NOT sitting around the house. 2) We're going to do something enriching for us as a couple tonight as well.

    It turned into some great couple time and a board game (Zombies!!!). It turned a tough situation into a great night.

    Now, I can't "cure" the stress, but I can talk about it with others. And I do - daily. I try to make it positive and think of spending the holidays with my family in California, and how much we'll have saved while he's gone, etc. It doesn't make it easy. It'll never be easy. But it doesn't mean that I have to make the situation WORSE by pigging out 24/7. Because, let's face it, after he leaves I'll still have to look at my body in the mirror and be proud of the woman I am and the decisions I've made. Going backwards will only make it worse. Besides! HE DESERVES A WOMAN AT HER BEST while he's giving his all!


    This actually made me cry! I cannot imagine going through what you are, it takes a special person to be a military wife... I admire how strong you ladies are. I couldn't do it.

    Gosh! Thanks! He's my best friend, so there is no one else I'd rather be with. :) Just like everything else, it's one day at a time. (What did I do today to help myself feel better? Contacted an artist friend of mine and commissioned some small drawings be done so I can send them with him on the sub! Due to the nature of his work, we've been told to expect zero contact for the duration of his deployment, BUT I can send him with letters and stuff! So I'm choosing to focus on the good and pack a few surprises in his bag.)
  • MiladyMetal
    MiladyMetal Posts: 184 Member
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    I just don't keep the "bad stuff" in the house, then theres a limit to how much damage I can do!
    I agree with that! However dark chocolate is okay but one or two pieces at a time to help curb the craving. Also, keep myself busy, exercising, eating something healthier and one small piece of the dark chocolate or a 1/2 cup of lowfat sugar free ice cream.
  • Jenna70
    Jenna70 Posts: 130 Member
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    Emotional eating is a huge part of why/how I got to be where I am. It's very hard to not eat bad things when feeling really down. I think exercise is one of the best ways to combat the urge to eat; get busy doing something active, anything at all and drink a bunch of water while you are at it. Sometimes when I don't feel like going (dragging myself) to the gym I clean the house energetically.

    Remind yourself that eating is not going to fill that emotional black hole you are sitting in, it will actually make it worse when you add the regret after consuming the bad thing and anger at yourself for caving in. Try some positive self talk. I know it sounds silly and may feel silly at first, but stand in front of a mirror and SMILE at yourself (it's hard to feel down when you are smiling) and tell yourself you are beautiful and incredible and awesome (or whatever catch phrases work for you). I sometimes also employ deep breathing exercises with stretching while listening to soothing meditation music and focus on envisioning myself as I will be when I reach my fitness goals. Eating a cake/cupcakes/cookies/ice cream will not help my body look like the vision in my head and will not make me feel better. :)

    I realize some of this cannot be done while at work, but maybe some version can be done in the bathroom for just a few minutes.
  • Babs0515
    Babs0515 Posts: 7
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    You are halfway there knowing you want to eat for emotional reasons. How about asking yourself what you are upset about and quietly waiting for the answer. I was told a long time ago that I do not eat because of pain, I eat because I am uncomfortable. We all need to feel comforted. I now take the time to be quiet wait for the noise in my head to stop. I walk lots too!
  • shoshi68
    shoshi68 Posts: 407 Member
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    I remind myself: If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer. I take a deep breath, and sit with the emotion. Often, for me, it is the young "me" having the emotions, and it is to her I address my love and compassion. I know it sounds hokey, but when I want to eat emotionally, it is the little me inside that is calling out for love. Sitting with the emotion takes me back to the confusion and pain experienced by that little lonely girl, and giving her compassion gives her what she needs. Goodness knows she doesn't need food to feel better!

    Anyway, that is my journey - may not be applicable to yours, but this works for me.

    Best of luck! It is tough, and you can do it!

    Much love!
  • seriousaboutlife
    seriousaboutlife Posts: 177 Member
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    call somebody you can vent to... go for a walk... make a bet with a friend...

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