Stuck in the "comfort zone" How do I get out?

guerree94
guerree94 Posts: 5 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
Hello everyone,
Im in desperate need of advice. About a year and a half ago I was on top of my health journey. I weighed about 250 and managed to get to 217 and then i met my significant other... In no way shape or form am I putting this on him, but since we have been together I have lost my motivation to be healthier. I'm not sure what it is, hes tried to get me to go to the gym with him, but i have no motivation. I'm very comfortable with him, but my health has declined dramatically. I currently weigh 257 and feel like I cant walk down the hall or up a floor of stairs without hyperventilating. Any advice on how to get out of the "comfort zone "

Replies

  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    If you are really brave you could ask your partner to be truthful about how he feels about your weight. Often realizing that our partner is concerned or unhappy about it makes us think twice about being comfortable.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
    What were you doing to get to 217 pounds? Can you do that again? If not, why not, what was it?
  • Millicent3015
    Millicent3015 Posts: 374 Member
    It's not really about motivation. You have health issues due to your weight and they may get worse if you don't do something about it. Your bf has tried to get you to go to the gym; that should tell you that he's probably concerned. Go to the doctor if your motivation to do anything is seriously lacking, or if you've lost interest in doing things you used to enjoy, or if everyday tasks now seem insurmountable.

    If it's just a matter of you feeling comfortable with your bf, it might just be that you've become complacent. In that case you may need to give yourself a kick up the backside and start going to the gym with your bf. That might spur you on to make the lifestyle changes you need.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,543 Member
    1 piece of paper, line down the middle.

    Make 2 lists. Why you want to lose weight on one side, why you don’t want to lose weight on the other.

    Some folks reject the idea there are reasons not to lose weight. But if you dont have reasons not to lose, you would do it. Spend some time on this and make a good list. Big things and little things. Even if they strike you as dumb. Take a day or two to think it over.


    When you think you’ve got two good lists, study the don’ts. What kind of deals or compromises can the lose weight side make with the don’t want to side? Recognize that losing pounds is one thing, living with the process is another. Resist the temptation to think you can just run over the don’ts if you really want to. Doesn’t work like that.

    Maybe this will get you unstuck.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
    It doesn't sound like you are comfortable at all in your current state.

    Break this up by identifying habits that harm your desired healthy state. Prioritize these 1-5, then cross off 2-5. Find a habit that promotes health and implement this. After you have successfully replaced this and modified your behavior repeat the exercise.
  • californiajasso
    californiajasso Posts: 2 Member
    When I get into an unmotivated slump, I buy new workout products to motivate myself. I took some time off lifting because of my work schedule, but after I bought a new shaker and a new brand of protein, I felt ready to workout! Obviously, you should be worried by your health concerns, but this is just a quick way to heighten my mood.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    It doesn't sound like you are comfortable at all in your current state.

    Break this up by identifying habits that harm your desired healthy state. Prioritize these 1-5, then cross off 2-5. Find a habit that promotes health and implement this. After you have successfully replaced this and modified your behavior repeat the exercise.

    Pretty much this...

    I knew I wasn't super healthy and not the least bit fit, but a trip to my doctor for my 38 birthday physical got me out of my "comfort zone"...he pretty much told me that if I didn't get my *kitten* together that I'd likely be very sick, if not dead by my early 60s...not very comforting.

    I didn't make whole sale changes overnight...that is too daunting and likely the biggest reason that so many people fail long term. I took steps in the right direction over time and focused on behaviors and replacing bad habits with good habits...it is a process, not a flip the switch kind of thing.

    That was almost 6 years ago...still rockin'
  • guerree94
    guerree94 Posts: 5 Member
    Thank you for your guys advice! I hope I can pick up where I started about a year and a half ago.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,333 Member
    Don't sabotage your new found happiness by neglecting your health. Your boyfriend fell in love with you at 217. Now you've gained 40 pounds. You think he's okay with that? You could be kidding yourself. The hints to go to the gym are.. yes.. hints to lose weight. Don't let your new found comfort ruin the good things you created when you embraced better health.

  • smolmaus
    smolmaus Posts: 442 Member
    I know you say you don't know what it is that's caused you to feel like you don't care about your health but it's really important that you do some self examination here. Something has changed, beyond just "got a bf now" and unless you figure out what has changed in your emotional state you won't really know how to fix it. Nobody with a totally healthy brain space keeps on making unhealthy choices when they're already really feeling the consequences.

    Does he make you feel good about yourself? The post above (while I disagree with the tone) hits on something, if he is encouraging you to go to the gym and lose weight, yes it would be a healthy choice for you but I know from experience that having an SO make those suggestions (esp if they are insistent or pushy) doesn't feel good sometimes. And for me it made me even less likely to go. Do you feel pressure to be "attractive" for him, where before you were just doing it for you? I might be projecting here (probably am) but if I was thinking I had to exercise and eat right for somebody else's approval, there's not a chance in hell I would want to do it.
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