Anyone got tured down because they were "heavy"?

BeeRod527
BeeRod527 Posts: 104
edited October 1 in Motivation and Support
I mean you go out with someone and they like their personality but don't like you from the neck down. I had that happen a few times. Recently one guy I went on a few dates with emailed me said he was sorry and wanted to give it another go. I basically told him to (rhymes with duck) off! I'm still the same person inside no matter what I look outside.

Did this happened to you? How did you cope with it? And to those who are in a relationship, did your partner ever bug you about your weight?

*typo on "turned"

Replies

  • peripah
    peripah Posts: 120 Member
    That's never happened to me, but gees, what a d ick move. Well done on telling him to get lost.
  • kimbux
    kimbux Posts: 154 Member
    I'm not gonna lie - it's happened and it SUCKS! Good for you for telling him to (Duck) off when he wanted a second chance. You are WORHT it so keep moving forward in your journey :)
  • butterfliblu
    butterfliblu Posts: 36 Member
    I think, sadly, that I am in the minority when it comes to support from a partner. My fiance is INCREDIBLY supportive and encouraging, yet has never once said anything negative about my weight. It's usually myself that beats me up- and he'll always say, "you're beautiful just as you are and I love you just as you are."

    We're in the process of losing weight together, and it feels SO GOOD to have a partner in this. Don't settle. Good for you for telling that guy to eff off! Seriously.

    And DO NOT buy into the idea that you can't be loved or dated because you happen to weigh more than a teenager. There are so many wonderful men out there. In my case, I had to date a lot of frogs until I was 29 and found the right man- it takes a LOT of dating and a lot of mistakes before learning who will treat you right. And the right man will not comment on your weight in any way other than positive or encouraging.

    Good luck!
  • homeport51
    homeport51 Posts: 198 Member
    It has happened to me too, but it doesn't make me mad. You can't help what you like or what you find attractive. I will admit there are physical attributes that float my boat and some that turn me off too. Doesn't matter how nice the person is, sometimes the chemistry isn't there. If you are honest, you will admit the same thing.
  • PanteraGirl
    PanteraGirl Posts: 566 Member
    Its never happened to me personally.....but people like that are not worth your time! To be with them they should like all of you!!! Just forget about him!

    I gained alot of weight since Ive been with my boyfriend....he made a couple of comments here and there....but didn't bug me about it or anything. And he made the comments when I complained about myself...so he would say if I didn't like myself I should do something about it.....and thats it!
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    Not to long ago I had a woman tell me I was the perfect man. She said I was funny, sweet, sexy, good looking, and a terrific father. She said what made me undateable (not that I was gonna ask her on a date but I guess she thought I was going to) was I was too short. I am 5'8" and that was way to short for her. I let it roll off my back. I am happy with who I am. As for the flip side... I truly believe their is something amazing, special and beautiful about everyone. It may be their eyes, their laugh or the way they love their kids. Now I do love me a cowgirl, but more importantly I love people and people who love people. So if someone was kind and loving I would date them in a heartbeat. If I was dating. I have two beautiful Angels at home who take up 100% of my time so no dating for this cowboy!
  • xraychick77
    xraychick77 Posts: 1,775 Member
    you cant be upset with people for that. i mean we all have different things that we find attractive about someone. i mean personally i'd never go out with someone with bad teeth. does that me such a horrible person. just because you feel bad about it, doesnt mean you have the right to be basically calling someone superficial.
  • trini14
    trini14 Posts: 110 Member
    This actually happened to an old co-worker of mines, she said the relationship was great, he met the family, they dated for quite sometime. However, he told her that he couldn't get past her weight, lame excuse. She was very much hurt, because she stated she really cared about him. I told her that if your weight was an issue, he would have either told her in the beginning, or not have dated her at all. From knowing her I think it was other issues. However, despite whatever the fact was, wrong is wrong.

    Note: I so wasn't on the subject.....my bad...
  • NewVonnie
    NewVonnie Posts: 683 Member
    Not to long ago I had a woman tell me I was the perfect man. She said I was funny, sweet, sexy, good looking, and a terrific father. She said what made me undateable (not that I was gonna ask her on a date but I guess she thought I was going to) was I was too short. I am 5'8" and that was way to short for her. I let it roll off my back. I am happy with who I am. As for the flip side... I truly believe their is something amazing, special and beautiful about everyone. It may be their eyes, their laugh or the way they love their kids. Now I do love me a cowgirl, but more importantly I love people and people who love people. So if someone was kind and loving I would date them in a heartbeat. If I was dating. I have two beautiful Angels at home who take up 100% of my time so no dating for this cowboy!

    Whoever that was has lost her mind...
  • BeeRod527
    BeeRod527 Posts: 104
    In my case, if the chemistry isn't there, it shouldn't go further than the first date. However, this guy and I went on three dates and decided to give me the whole "your personality is perfect and would make an amazing wife someday... however, you're too fat for my taste." Call that brutal. Didn't cry over it and basically was like "screw you".

    So when he emailed me, I was more than happy to tell him off. Hey I never complained about his "DJ Pauly" look for one bit and I hate Jersey Shore type of guys.

    As for the other question about partners not being supportive, there's being supportive and there's being abusive. I have an ex who've became one of my best male friends is very supportive and even offer to tag along with me at the gym. He's on the slender side but loves food. On the other hand, I had a serious boyfriend for nearly 4 years and from day one, made snotty comments about my weight. I would spend the entire relationship yo-yo dieting to appease him (he's was tall but a bit heavy and I never teased him about him at all). It was when I was at the smallest I've ever been (at 160 pounds) that enough was enough. He still said I should lose another 30 pounds. Another 10 pounds and I would look too thin for my height and frame. So after that, I end up dumping him, but not without gaining all the weight I've lost back... and then some; which now leads to the present.

    Anyway, I'm glad that I'm doing this as a single woman because the last thing I need is an d-bag of a partner to put me down. At least I have my family and friends to cheer me on.
  • knitnurse72
    knitnurse72 Posts: 8
    I've never been turned down by a date because I was too heavy, but back before I got married (11 years ago) and was looking at wedding dresses with my skinny maid of honor (I was about 40 pounds overweight, which I did lose for the wedding), the owner of a wedding dress shop told me "let's have your friend try on the dresses - she has a much better figure." Needless to say, we walked right out of there and never went back. Some people can be so rude!
  • UltraRunnerGale
    UltraRunnerGale Posts: 346 Member
    I think we have all been rejected for one reason or another. That's life. I've gone out with guys that are heavy and thin. Bald and long haired. Tall and short. You name it. But.... I cannot be with a guy that is obese. I have dated a few, but I am just not attracted to them.
  • kbarry90
    kbarry90 Posts: 48
    lucky my fiance loves me the way i am and doesn't think i need to lose weight i think he is just upset that my boobs are getting smaller he always tells me i need a push up bra so today i got one for him needed a new one anyway lol
  • sunyg
    sunyg Posts: 229
    Not to long ago I had a woman tell me I was the perfect man. She said I was funny, sweet, sexy, good looking, and a terrific father. She said what made me undateable (not that I was gonna ask her on a date but I guess she thought I was going to) was I was too short. I am 5'8" and that was way to short for her. I let it roll off my back. I am happy with who I am. As for the flip side... I truly believe their is something amazing, special and beautiful about everyone. It may be their eyes, their laugh or the way they love their kids. Now I do love me a cowgirl, but more importantly I love people and people who love people. So if someone was kind and loving I would date them in a heartbeat. If I was dating. I have two beautiful Angels at home who take up 100% of my time so no dating for this cowboy!

    I just have to say that, there are so few great guys out there, that this has to be one of the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I would toss just about anything out the window for those qualities. Especially the terrific father part!
  • SinginChiquita
    SinginChiquita Posts: 12
    I have and it does suck and it hurts, but the guy that told you that is just shallow jerk, good for you to tell him off!! Keep doing you its his loss and any guys loss that ever treats you like that!! Your beautiful!! :)
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