Unsure on what I should do???

What sort of eating program are you on for this stage of surgery prep?

I lost weight without surgery by using a food scale to weigh the stuff I ate, and using myfitnesspal to record the stuff I ate. So long as I managed to eat less or at my daily goal, I usually lost weight.

I just eat the kinds of food that I like, in reasonable portions. My likes have changed a little, but that's mostly due to me learning so much from this wonderful community.

relli399 wrote: »

Right now I got myself in a tough spot for me to decide on what I should do with my weight loss journey. I've been big most of my life. As of right now, I am 385 lbs. And a month ago I weighed in at 403 lbs. I been up and down most of my life. By the way I am currently 42 yrs old. I had the gastric sleeve back in 2011. That work for me that first year to a year and a half. But eventually, I put my weight back on. So the sleeve did not work for me. Now my deliema I am having today is if I should go back and do the full gastric bypass. I know what I am capable of when I get motivated to lose weight. So I know I can do it with out the surgery. But I always did it alone. So that's why I believe I put the weight back on. Now I have been going through the process of get prepared for another weight loss surgery(dietitian, psych eventually, and other test). I don't have a surgery date yet. I guess right now I am second guessing my decision to go through with the surgery. I know being a bariatric patient ain't no joy ride. There are a lot of restrictions on your diet. And possibly a lot of compilations. Luckily for me I did not experience any during my first surgery. I guess where I am getting at is that I believe with some support, I can keep my weight off. I know the bypass surgery can be a great tool. But sometimes a great support group can be just as good if not better. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated. Thank everyone for there time.

One thing to bear in mind is that surgery at 31 is not the same as surgery at 42. As your body passes 35 or so, it loses at lot of its "bounce-back" capability; so you may not heal nearly as fast, or as well, as you did last time.

As I understand it, weight-loss surgery is a tool to help people do the things required to lose weight and keep it off (i.e., diet and exercise). Some people who have the surgery find this tool very helpful and effective, and some do not. You may want to consider why think you might now be better at effectively using this tool than you were with the previous surgery. (I'm not saying you wouldn't be. Just that you should have some reasons, and you should know what they are.)

My doctor suggested WLS for me back when I weighed 315 lbs (I'm a 5'9" woman). Looking into it, I was impressed by the amount of support available for people losing weight with the surgery, that my (admittedly crappy) medical insurance won't cover for people not having surgery. That really ticks me off.

I decided against the surgery (for me, personally - other people's decisions are of course their own), and am dredging up the support I need in other places: most notably, here on MFP.

You got this!

Unfortunately, for me even though I was eating generally healthy, I couldn’t stop overeating 2-3 days a week until I got a psychotherapist
I really didn’t want to spend the money or go through the effort but
after seeing her only twice (!) my overeating stopped completely, and that has made it really easy to not eat over my daily goal and lose weight

She’s totally changed my life

My solution is probably not everyone’s solution

Definitly take the time you need to figure out what works for you! There’s no rush

I think you are wise to put the surgery on the back burner for now. It is a huge step. I had a gastric band and didn't have any luck losing. Finally it was removed due to complications and I went on to lose weight on my own. I am 62 years old and was 59 when I lost the weight. I wish I hadn't waited. Once I got going it was easier than I expected but I quit using heroic efforts to try to lose it fast. I took my time and I've learned alot along the way. You can do it. The main thing is finding a lifestyle you can live with permanently and embracing it. Take your time and you will slowly see changes in your desire for certain foods and your tolerance for bad eating habits. I get sick now if I try to overeat, lol. I can only eat a fraction of the volume I used to and greasy food makes me queasy. It's gotten so much easier to maintain.

I think you could try for 6 months to 1 more year to lose weight since you did a fantastic job this last month! You could try posting here more, adding friends, joining group pages, etc. to help you feel less alone in the journey. You might find that either 1) you are successful and decide you don't need surgery, 2) you are successful and can wait a bit for surgery, or 3) you can get the surgery but you've proven you've got what it takes to make long term and lasting changes to your diet once the surgery is complete. I have heard many people who get a bypass still put the weight back on, since even the surgery is not a guarantee. The permanent eating habits are still first and foremost the number one change you can take to improve your weight.

I'm not in the same situation, but I'm not going to lie. I started losing weight in 2013 with only about 30 lbs to lose. Even now, I struggle with maintaining the changes I've made and need this constant MFPing to keep me on track, though I do tend to go up and down 10ish pounds regularly. My brother also is like this, we both think we will be on MFP forever. Doing without that crutch is likely not sustainable for us. It is still taking me a bit to process that MFP has to stay a part of my life, likely forever. But I've proven to myself over the last 5 years that MFP breaks don't work for me. I don't necessarily log all the time, but I DO need the community as a reminder to keep mindful of what I eat.

Another thing I really struggle with is that for me, to stay on track, I have to cook meals frequently. I hate cooking (planning, shopping, cooking, and cleaning up!), so I actually think this is a big issue of mine, and why I always keep sliding back to pre-prepared freezer foods and eating out (which eventually I get out of hand with). So this for me isn't an EATING habit (since when I do cook, I do like it better than freezer food). It's literally a "I don't like spending my time this way" habit.

I recommend using the next while to try and figure out the things you struggle with, and those might not be purely "what you eat/how much you eat" related.

Examples
- How much you enjoy cooking
- How much time do you like doing passive activities (computer, tv, reading, boardgames, etc)
- How much sleep are you getting and is it enough (it's more important than I thought!)
- Stressed at work or at home? Both? Is there anything you can do to change that?
- Will online support be enough for you? Can you look into support groups in your physical community so you have people you can talk to and hang out with with similar goals?

etc

I think the "mental" side is sometimes the biggest battle we face and it can take a longer time to develop than most of us would like. I'm not saying this to discourage you but as you've seen, losing weight is one thing but keeping it off is another-and that is where one's mental strength is really tested.

For some people, losing weight goes hand in hand with their increased confidence but for others, they can lose weight and yet still not feel good about themselves; this is because their "issues" aren't weight related. They might be down to other things that happened in their life (childhood) which fed (literally) into them gaining weight as opposed to someone who just develops bad habits and falls into a pattern of laziness.

I have no doubt OP that you are more than capable of developing that long term shift in confidence and self belief that is required to bring about sustained success. Remember that you are worth it and that feelings are often based upon your perceptions (inner voice) which are often skewered; thoughts are not reality.

Water and coffee is also the key, no pop or soda or energy drinks.