I’m Over Motivation…

Motivation has never gotten me anywhere. Sure, it may help to get me a few steps ahead, but then as always, I end up ten steps back. When I feel motivated things seem simple and long-term results seem attainable. It’s this sort of “honeymoon phase” with whatever I’m doing; which in this instance is weight-loss.

What I need to do is skip over the motivation period when things seem magical and jump straight into removing the things that lead me towards my bad habits, or replacing them. For the purpose of this little epiphanistic (prob not an actual word, but I’m running with it) rant, those things are all certain foods.

Firstly, I know that in it’s most simple form weigh-loss is nothing more than CICO. However, things like habits, emotions, stress, etc.. all contribute to how we feel, act, and react. Those things greatly affect weight-loss, or at least out ability as dysfunctional beings to figuring out how to change or replace the things that power our bad habits.

I love food! I love chocolate, bread, ice cream, cakes, etc… All of these things I can eat in moderation until something happens in my life and then that becomes a catalyst and I’m binging before I know it. Then even when I’m in the middle of the binge, fully aware of what I’m doing and why it’s bad for me, I still can’t manage to stop.

I have tried to remove stress from my life, or things that cause my professional emotional eater to come out. I can’t remove or replace everyone and everything from my life, so all I’m left with to remove is the food. I’ve made myself a list of foods that I can have in the house because they are foods that I like but don’t love. Foods that I will eat and not feel miserable, but don’t love so much that I’ll just eat and eat.

I know that restrictive diets are not sustainable, and it is not my intention to do it long-term, but I need to do something to give me time to modify and replace habits that have become detrimental to my health. If the foods I really love and want are not in the house then I can’t eat them. If I want to eat there will be only specific foods to choose from. The foods kept in the house will be:

Beef
Chicken
Tuna
Eggs
Butter
Fruits
Vegetables (no starchy ones)
Kidney Beans (only when I feel like I need a more filling meal)
Olive Oil
Red Wine Vinegar
Spices

Multi-Vitamin
D3
K2
Magnesium

I’ll be eating 3 meals a day. Protein with each meal along with as many fruits and vegetables I want for the first week. The second week I’ll eat the same way but I’ll track my calories. I will continue on eating this way until I feel like I have gotten used to eating at my calorie goal and then I will add back in things like starchy vegetables and rice. Then I can start adding in things like pasta and cheese. Though I think I’m lactose intolerant, so dairy will be the last thing I try to add back in.

I know this is going to suck and I may be miserable for a while. But I am addicted to food and I expect to withdraw from eating whatever whenever. I know that process isn’t easy. I was addicted to pain killers years ago and withdrawal is never a good time. But there is something about suffering through it that changes you. If you’re strong enough you survive the withdrawal and move forward with the strength to fight it. I feel like I’m strong enough to fight through my food addiction and come out on the top.

Don’t mistake my feeling of strength as motivation, because I am not at all motivated to do this. I need to do it for my health, so I’m going to jump in and push myself through the pain of it, most of which will be mental and emotional.

I’m hoping for the best.