I Think I'm Addicted to Sugar

Renewed2008 · October 2018

I. Love. Sweets.
I will turn down a bag of potato chips for an Oreo cookie any day of the week! And oh how good those cookies are! Especially chocolate chip ones, with peanut butter on them, put together to make a sandwich, with a glass of chocolate milk to drink to all down. Yeah - no wonder I'm 5'3" and 242 pounds. Ugh.

I get it - not everyone who loves sweets is addicted to them. Here's why I think I am...

- I will hide sweets in the house and eat them when everyone else is in bed so they don't about it.
- I will buy extra cookies at the store so that I can binge on them before I get home and then throw the bag away in the trash before my husband sees them.
- I will eat until I am ready to puke, and then I will eat some more. Possible TMI but I need to share it...I once ate an entire bag of fudge filled chocolate chip cookies in about an hour, after binge eating all day long. I ended up getting sick from over eating and threw up all night long. IT was awful, but it obviously didn't deter me.
- All I think about is sweets, chocolate, cookies, etc.
- I want to eat them incessently and once I start it is very hard for me to stop
- I have a very hard time with moderation of sugar. If it's in the house - it's basically gone within a day. My husband has to buy sweets I don't like just so he can have some for himself. That's not fair to him.

So that's the bottom line of things.

I don't want to be addicted to sugar anymore. I hate it. I hate how it makes me feel. I want to rid myself of it. I just don't know how. Some say quit cold turkey and eliminate it from your life food good (much like an addict of any other substance would do). Some say force yourself to learn moderation, and work it into your calories but stop once you eat your caloric limit.

I don't know what to do - so I'm turning to you for advice. Do I:

- Quit cold turkey - never to eat sweets again
- Quit cold turkey and gradually reintroduce myself to sweets after a designated period of time
- Wean myself off of sweets and never eat them again
- Force myself to learn moderation and endure the temptations (BTW - I'm the one who brings all the junk in my house - hubby is innocent - half the time he doesn't even know its there)
- Do the obvious - just don't buy it and you'll be fine - why are you making such a big deal here?
- Do something else?

HELP!

NorthCascades · October 2018

Would you steal for candy?

Unfortunately you can't go cold turkey and never eat again. So it's going to be more complicated. You probably could go through life never having table sugar again, getting your carbs from bread and vegetables. That seems extreme.

Can you talk to your doctor about this, for a referral to a counselor?

pinuplove · October 2018

Other (sort of) - address your binging behavior. This probably means professional help. As Cascades said, start with your GP. Best of luck.

The foods you're binging on are more than just sugar. They also include a relatively high amount of fat and, well, they taste good and feel good on the tongue. Would you sit down with a bag of sugar and a spoon?

snickerscharlie · October 2018

Agree with a visit to your doctor. The binge eating is alarming, especially when combined with 'secret' eating. Please get some help with this.

Carry_That_Weight · October 2018

You can eventually learn moderation, but you have a process and some work and trial and error ahead of you. Don’t go into it thinking “well that’s it! Tomorrow I break my sugar habit forever!” There’s a slim chance that could be successful, but it probably won’t be and when you fail at it, it’s hard to just start working again and not take it as an ultimate grand failure of your entire goal.

I’d say, definitely start by not buying anything that triggers a binge. Don’t keep it in the house. Try to give it up for a certain period of time. What’s the longest you’ve recently gone without binging on cookies or whatever? If it’s a day, try 3 days without. If it’s a week, try 2. You get the idea. Then give yourself a day where you’re allowed to eat it if you feel like it, but not as much. Try gradually increasing these periods and decreasing the portion on the splurge day. Many people find, if they think “I’m never going to eat ZZZZ again ever!” they crave it more and end up binging. Having the idea that it’s not forever, you just need to go a week and then you can have some, helps with this particular mentality.

It’s normal to have what’s termed “extinction events” when killing a habit. As the habit starts to die, you might have a few times when it sneaks back up on you, stronger than ever. If this happens, it doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you a normal human fighting an evolutionary instinct to eat energy-rich things. The idea is just to keep getting “back on the horse”, and the habit grows weaker and weaker.

Think of it like an exercise regimen. Periods of abstinence are your endurance training, and splurge days are the rest - the little break you need from the mental and emotional energy it takes to change habits.

It also really helps if you’ve got something else you can pour your focus into - and make sure it’s not something that’s easy to do while eating cookies!

Reading, listening to music, watching shows etc don’t work for me because I tend to snack. I like exercise, playing instruments, or socializing.

Good luck! Just remember: it’s a process and it takes practice. Everything worth doing takes effort, but the rewards of better health and less physical and emotional stress are well-worth it.

nutmegoreo · October 2018

I agree with the counseling, this is something that likely has some deep roots, and a professional can help you unwind that big ball of mess. Hiding foods, the bingeing, and to the point of getting sick, suggests that this is something that should be worked on with a counselor.

Some of what you are saying resonates with me (a past me). I am 5'2" and I'm not sure what my highest weight was, but I would guess in the 230s. I am single, so never had to hide any of my food, but I could stuff a ridiculous amount of high calorie foods into my face in a single evening. Not to the same extent that you describe here (have never vomited from it), but easily 3000-4000 calories per day.

Moderation is like a muscle. If you want to develop it, you need to strengthen it, and give it time. I really had to change my mindset about food because I couldn't envision a life where I could never have treat foods again (ice cream and chocolate bars were my main weaknesses). Reading through the threads here, I began to realize that: 1) I had set my calorie goal way too low and it caused me to feel deprived, led to overconsumption, led to feeling guilty, led to feeling like a failure, and hey, since I'm already a failure, I might as well eat more; 2) this isn't an all or nothing endeavor (I can have a small treat each day and not be a failure).

These were important because by changing my calorie goal, I actually had more success. The overeating was easily undoing the rest of the work I had been putting into it. By raising my calorie goal, I wasn't getting stupidly hungry, and was better able to stick to that goal. By accepting that I could fit in a treat, it took away the sense of failure. It also took away the appeal of "forbidden foods." Having a higher calorie goal enabled me to fit in the treats as well.

The trickier part was having those treats without overdoing them. At first, I just couldn't have them in the house. Eat before going grocery shopping. Shop with a list, and don't allow anything that's not on the list. On the days when I wanted the treat, I would pick up a single serving size (single serving ice cream, single chocolate bar, etc.). Every once in a while, I would test it by bringing home a multi-pack. For the longest time, those multi packs never made it through the day, so I would go back to picking up the single serving, as needed. Eventually, I was able to bring in multi packs and sit down to a single serving at a time. It took a long time, a lot of patience, and a lot of work. For me, it was worth it.

I share all of this so that you know it can be done, but please do seek some help. I feel like your situation is more complicated than mine. All the best to you.

dmcnur · October 2018

Counselling may be needed to help address what caused you to start overeating and binging on sugary treats. I too was a binge eater but was not fussy about what I binged on, just about anything would do and I frequently ended up vomiting, after which I would go back to eating as I had made more room. For me it took a reality check from my doctor to address a lifetime of comfort binging. 11 months later I have lost 78 pounds and reversed my health from bad to good. No more insulin resistance, no more high blood pressure, as well as many other benefits. I went cold turkey with a ketogenic diet, which was recommended by my doctor. It was difficult at first as I would have killed for a bread roll or bowl of ice-cream, but after several uncomfortable weeks I can honestly say I no longer miss carbs and sugar. As well as changing my eating I addressed some issues from my past which had been triggers for my overeating. If you have a strong enough motivation, a good support network and the courage to face what may have caused your excess eating, you too may be able to change your life for the better.

I wish you the very best for the future and hope that you find something to work for you.

Seffell · October 2018

If you were told that you have ischemia due to your sugar addiction and your legs need to be amputated, would you keep eating it? Because smokers keep smoking regardless and continue even after they lose a limb and face a risk of losing another.

I'm not saying your condition is not serious. It seems it is serious. I would try and get some CBT if it is available to you. If you're really determined, just try very hard whichever of your options appeals the most to you and seems the easiest. Or a combination of them. I would suggest starting with not buying them and not keeping them in the house and in view.

I've quit very heavy smoking and I just tried one option after another, failing constantly, hating myself throughout, until one just worked and I made it to the other side.

Get yourself busy. Find something to study, don't let yourself think of food because there just isn't anything important to think about.

I hope you succeed.

CMNVA · October 2018

Sugar is your food of choice, and it does have a mean grip on people. I would say that I have the same feeling about sweets as you. But there is one difference--you have an eating disorder. You are a serious binge eater. That's where you need help. It's not the sugar, although the sugar is what you use with your binge eating. It could be anything. It's a classic eating disorder and you should see an eating disorder specialist to find out how to deal with it.

Unknown · October 2018

This content has been removed.

NorthCascades · October 2018

By the way I've gone to the doctor for help with all kinds of stuff. For example, I was doing squats wrong. How dumb is that? What happened was the doctor sent me to a physical therapist - an expert in one of the things I needed help with - and we figured it out together. Anybody your doctor can send you to will be professional, welcoming, and on your team.

_melysalopez_ · October 2018

Your on the right path. I admire your courage to share your story. Stay strong.

kshama2001 · October 2018

I've done all that (and worse) but the puking.

While I did have Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in the 90s for alcohol issues, and find that the same principles help with food, what helps me eat less sugar is eating less sugar. The less I eat, the less I want. Eating more protein is necessary for me - others find high fat helpful.

Also critical for me is a regular exercise program and decent sleep.

I used to be an emotional eater, but now I (mostly) manage stress with exercise. Also, there's kind of a roller coaster rush with the whole binging, sneaking food thing, and if I get that endorphin rush from exercise I don't need it from food.

kshama2001 · October 2018

ps - re moderation vs abstainers, for some people one or the other works best. I have some trigger foods that I simply cannot moderate, and the best strategy for me is to not have them in the house.

https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

...For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often—two and even three times a day—I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” "Don't I deserve this?" etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way—it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of precious energy justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

Renewed2008 · October 2018

Thank you everyone for your kindness, insight and encouragement. I have learned a lot reading your replies and I will consult with my doctor. I'm also not going to do an all-or-nothing approach. I need to learn moderation and how to eat healthy. If I don't, then I'm dooming myself to repeat this cycle again and again.

To be honest, I never thought I had a problem. I didn't think anything of it - but now that you've all forced me (in such a kind way) to examine myself and my habits I see that there's nothing normal about hiding food. There's nothing normal about eating until I feel sick and then eating more. I see that now. I don't want to admit it, but I do see it.

I'm going to call the doctor in the morning and make an appointment. Thank you.

nutmegoreo · October 2018

Renewed2008 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your kindness, insight and encouragement. I have learned a lot reading your replies and I will consult with my doctor. I'm also not going to do an all-or-nothing approach. I need to learn moderation and how to eat healthy. If I don't, then I'm dooming myself to repeat this cycle again and again.

To be honest, I never thought I had a problem. I didn't think anything of it - but now that you've all forced me (in such a kind way) to examine myself and my habits I see that there's nothing normal about hiding food. There's nothing normal about eating until I feel sick and then eating more. I see that now. I don't want to admit it, but I do see it.

I'm going to call the doctor in the morning and make an appointment. Thank you.

CMNVA · October 2018

kshama2001 wrote: »

ps - re moderation vs abstainers, for some people one or the other works best. I have some trigger foods that I simply cannot moderate, and the best strategy for me is to not have them in the house.

https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

...For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often—two and even three times a day—I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” "Don't I deserve this?" etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way—it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of precious energy justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

Modifier vs. abstainer: thanks for reminding me of that. I figured out a while ago that, when it comes to sweets, I need to be an abstainer. It's a hard concept to grasp because a lot of "advice" out there now is all about "learning to modify" and to moderate and being mindful. Well, there are some foods that, no matter what, they unleash the beast in me. Ice cream is one of them. It's so hard though because I really don't want to write off certain foods FOREVER, but it's looking like that's what works for me. I can abstain and just do so well and feel well. Then I go to a birthday party and eat a designer cupcake and I CANNOT STOP. Depressing.

I have not great advice here...just wanted to comment on this abstainer/moderator theory that I had forgotten about.

kshama2001 · October 2018

CMNVA wrote: »

kshama2001 wrote: »

ps - re moderation vs abstainers, for some people one or the other works best. I have some trigger foods that I simply cannot moderate, and the best strategy for me is to not have them in the house.

https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

...For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often—two and even three times a day—I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” "Don't I deserve this?" etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way—it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of precious energy justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

Modifier vs. abstainer: thanks for reminding me of that. I figured out a while ago that, when it comes to sweets, I need to be an abstainer. It's a hard concept to grasp because a lot of "advice" out there now is all about "learning to modify" and to moderate and being mindful. Well, there are some foods that, no matter what, they unleash the beast in me. Ice cream is one of them. It's so hard though because I really don't want to write off certain foods FOREVER, but it's looking like that's what works for me. I can abstain and just do so well and feel well. Then I go to a birthday party and eat a designer cupcake and I CANNOT STOP. Depressing.

I have not great advice here...just wanted to comment on this abstainer/moderator theory that I had forgotten about.

Ice cream is my biggest challenge!

My brain refuses to think of 1 pint of Ben & Jerry's as less than 1 serving. While I have success moderating the small single serving sizes, I fight with my brain about the price per pound, and they do not come in my favorite flavors.

I don't like Klondike bars as much, but my OH likes them, and I can moderate them well. Plus I keep them in the downstairs freezer.

It may be best for you to continue to abstain, but those are some things you could try if you feel safe doing so (individual units, putting them someplace where you can't see them. When I just had the one freezer, I'd put trigger foods in an opaque bag in the back.)

pinuplove · October 2018

Interesting discussion on moderating vs abstaining. I'm usually a moderator, but in certain circumstances I'm an abstainer. Case in point: peanut butter at work. I used to keep a jar in my desk for snacky times, but eventually realized I'm no good at stopping with a reasonable amount. I replaced it with a bag of whole almonds, which I have no trouble moderating. But PB at home isn't an issue for me 🤷

OP, I'm very happy to see your follow up post! May this be a turning point for you.

kgb6days · October 2018

The only way for me to manage my intake of those sweet things I love (Double Stuff Oreos, Mayfield Southern Buttered Pecan Ice cream just to name a few) is complete abstinence. If I let the monster out of the cage, I'm on a tear that ends with at LEAST 5 lbs. That's me. You know what you can/can't do. If you think you can moderate - try it. If it doesn't work, then try complete abstinence for at least a week. See how you are at the end of day 3. Jonesing for some sweets???? You might be right about that addiction. It is said that sugar is as addicting as cocaine or heroin. Don't want to try those two things to find out, but I know I get crazy about day 3

nutmegoreo · October 2018

kgb6days wrote: »

The only way for me to manage my intake of those sweet things I love (Double Stuff Oreos, Mayfield Southern Buttered Pecan Ice cream just to name a few) is complete abstinence. If I let the monster out of the cage, I'm on a tear that ends with at LEAST 5 lbs. That's me. You know what you can/can't do. If you think you can moderate - try it. If it doesn't work, then try complete abstinence for at least a week. See how you are at the end of day 3. Jonesing for some sweets???? You might be right about that addiction. It is said that sugar is as addicting as cocaine or heroin. Don't want to try those two things to find out, but I know I get crazy about day 3

The bolded part is ridiculous. I've read some of the studies (I wouldn't say all), I have seen nothing compelling. I've also worked with people with addictions, not even close to the same.

amyepdx · October 2018

Renewed2008 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your kindness, insight and encouragement. I have learned a lot reading your replies and I will consult with my doctor. I'm also not going to do an all-or-nothing approach. I need to learn moderation and how to eat healthy. If I don't, then I'm dooming myself to repeat this cycle again and again.

To be honest, I never thought I had a problem. I didn't think anything of it - but now that you've all forced me (in such a kind way) to examine myself and my habits I see that there's nothing normal about hiding food. There's nothing normal about eating until I feel sick and then eating more. I see that now. I don't want to admit it, but I do see it.

I'm going to call the doctor in the morning and make an appointment. Thank you.

Please let us know how it goes!

Alex · October 2018

Renewed2008 wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your kindness, insight and encouragement. I have learned a lot reading your replies and I will consult with my doctor. I'm also not going to do an all-or-nothing approach. I need to learn moderation and how to eat healthy. If I don't, then I'm dooming myself to repeat this cycle again and again.

To be honest, I never thought I had a problem. I didn't think anything of it - but now that you've all forced me (in such a kind way) to examine myself and my habits I see that there's nothing normal about hiding food. There's nothing normal about eating until I feel sick and then eating more. I see that now. I don't want to admit it, but I do see it.

I'm going to call the doctor in the morning and make an appointment. Thank you.

Deeply appreciate all of the kind, supportive and informative responses posted in this discussion from our community.

Lillymoo01 · October 2018

You have already been given some great advice and won't offer more but am so pleased that you are in the process of seeking help. That alone is a huge step for your way to recovery. I really wish you all the best and remember that you have this community of people behind you for support, some who have experienced a similar journey. You are not alone and you can do this.

NorthCascades · October 2018

You sound like the kind of person who's going to be successful at this.

JeromeBarry1 · October 2018

I read your whole OP. First, you do have something of an eating disorder and you should get counseling from a competent provider. I know that not everyone has access to that so there are some things you might be able to do to white-knuckle your way to moderation.

Own your food. Do not hide your eating from your husband. If you eat the content of the bag in the car, take the empty bag into the home and leave it near the trash so your husband can see it. Honesty is going to be the most difficult goal for you to achieve.

Once you achieve honesty, the rest is going to be easy.

kshama2001 · October 2018

This book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for overeating was available in my library system, so perhaps yours as well.

The Beck Diet Solution: Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person

Can thinking and eating like a thin person be learned, similar to learning to drive or use a computer? Beck (Cognitive Therapy for Challenging Problems) contends so, based on decades of work with patients who have lost pounds and maintained weight through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Beck's six-week program adapts CBT, a therapeutic system developed by Beck's father, Aaron, in the 1960s, to specific challenges faced by yo-yo dieters, including negative thinking, bargaining, emotional eating, bingeing, and eating out. Beck counsels readers day-by-day, introducing new elements (creating advantage response cards, choosing a diet, enlisting a diet coach, making a weight-loss graph) progressively and offering tools to help readers stay focused (writing exercises, to-do lists, ways to counter negative thoughts). There are no eating plans, calorie counts, recipes or exercises; according to Beck, any healthy diet will work if readers learn to think differently about eating and food. Beck's book is like an extended therapy session with a diet coach. (Apr.)

nvmomketo · October 2018

kshama2001 wrote: »

ps - re moderation vs abstainers, for some people one or the other works best. I have some trigger foods that I simply cannot moderate, and the best strategy for me is to not have them in the house.

https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/

...For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often—two and even three times a day—I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” "Don't I deserve this?" etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.

There’s no right way or wrong way—it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of precious energy justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.

So true. I'm an abstainer. Probably a good thing since I'm a celiac.

Moderating my trigger foods is a losing battle for me. Skipping it entirely is MUCH easier, although I know many others don't get that. I have been told so many times that abstaining will lead to binging, whereas moderation turns into a binge for me.YMMV

psychod787 · October 2018

Does not seem like a sugar issue.. more of an issue of Hyperpalitabilty issue. I hope you get the binge issue under control.

maureenkhilde · October 2018

OP, I have been there oh so many times. I think to the point of getting sick a few times. So what I did this time when I started MFP in May 2018. I had a chat with my husband, I explained all junk food would no longer be able to come into the house. His snack foods other than pretzels he had to keep in his car, not in the house. No more ice cream, no cookies, no candy. He agreed said however he could help me he would.

I knew for me to get my head in the correct place to win this war against the sweet, high fat, junky food I needed a complete break from it. So I have gone out once for frozen yogurt on my Birthday. I made him a dump cake on his birthday (4 months into MFP for me) and I did not have any.

We also talked about Halloween candy as our neighborhood normally sees 300 plus kids come through. Dum-dums and smarties this year no chocolate.

Once in awhile I make sugar free pudding as a treat and pour into serving dishes.

I do not trust myself yet to have cookies, candy, ice cream in the house. Maybe I will some day. But if I do not I am good with that. Because by making myself go out for that one serving, then I am making sure I really want it, and have allocated it into my calories, carbs, fat for the day. And it is working for me. Hang in there you can overcome this.

jgnatca · October 2018

I’m rather late to the party. I think you are on your way. Here’s the best online resources I have found. Along with the medical referral you might find some insight from your readings.
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/looking-after-yourself/disordered-eating

I Think I'm Addicted to Sugar

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