Any tips for breaking my "all or nothing" attitude?

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OvationUltraFan
OvationUltraFan Posts: 6 Member
in Motivation and Support
Any small pointers or little tips are appreciated!

Thank you!!

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  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Can you give more information, or examples? Do you quit on your diet if you have a brownie? Do you quit on your workout if you can't lift heavier than everyone in the gym?
  • OvationUltraFan
    OvationUltraFan Posts: 6 Member
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    Basically if I go over my calories or break even I would overeat or blow off the gym that day.

    Or if I do well I usually keep it up for over a week til he next weekend away (wedding for example) the following week would be less healthy and and just go all in and overindulge.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
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    Are you logging everything you eat/drink, no skipping, cheating or forgetting? Even when you overindulge?
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,442 Member
    edited October 2018
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    try2again wrote: »
    OvationUltraFan wrote: »
    Basically if I go over my calories or break even I would overeat or blow off the gym that day.

    Or if I do well I usually keep it up for over a week til he next weekend away (wedding for example) the following week would be less healthy and and just go all in and overindulge.

    For one thing, it's good to keep in mind that even when you go over your calories, you may still be in a deficit. For example, if you've chosen 1 lb/week as your weight loss goal, you have a 500 calorie deficit/day. If you go over by 200 calories, you are still at a 300 calorie deficit for the day, which still translates to weight loss. And if you were a little under a couple of days that week, it won't have any effect at all.

    Also, you might consider if your deficit is too steep. Some people choose a 2 lb/week goal when they really don't have the starting weight to support that. They end up trying to eat a ridiculously low amount of calories, and may succeed for a few days or a week, but then end up overeating to compensate.

    Great point! One of the best things I ever did was learn what my maintenance calories were. About 2300, personally. So even though I am shooting for 1800 daily, if I went over and ate 2100 (for example), I know I'm still in deficit and on track.
  • Scarlett_S
    Scarlett_S Posts: 467 Member
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    What's helped me is having a weekly calorie goal rather than daily and it doesn't matter how I get there. I also have the all or nothing mentality! So if I plan on eating 9000 calories for the week, if I have 2500 one day and 1000 the next, ok. If I have 3 glasses of wine instead of dinner, fine. I'm not saying it's the best way to do things, but I find it I'm eating well probably 80% of the time. And if I really screwed up I have to exercise more. The other thing that helps me is going to the gym first thing in the morning. It gives me a better mindset for the rest of the day.
  • OvationUltraFan
    OvationUltraFan Posts: 6 Member
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    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    Are you logging everything you eat/drink, no skipping, cheating or forgetting? Even when you overindulge?

    yes, always!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,945 Member
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    All or nothing with food to me means, eat too little for too long and then eat too much for too long.

    The trick is (as with everything) balance.

    Eat enough but not too much and then the free-for-all weeks will go away. Consistency when it comes to food is the best way.

    Wedding? Well, enjoy that one half-day. Then get back at it.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,287 Member
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    focus on the word "balance". for it is "balance" in all we do that leads to happiness and well being. All or nothing attitude, when it coms to weight loss is a decision to fail no matter which path you choose. Do you realize that?
  • OvationUltraFan
    OvationUltraFan Posts: 6 Member
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    elisa123gal wrote: »
    focus on the word "balance". for it is "balance" in all we do that leads to happiness and well being. All or nothing attitude, when it coms to weight loss is a decision to fail no matter which path you choose. Do you realize that?

    I do and thanks for the feedback, I need to incorporate balance much more in my daily routine.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    As far as the wedding, etc. plan ahead to give yourself extra calories, then you won't feel as if you have "cheated" or "lost control." I have an exercise entry which is called "special occasion" which is enough calories to take me up to maintenance. If I am already eating at maintenance I use a calorie bank, and eat fewer calories for the days before, adding them to the day of the special occasion.

    Doing it this way also helps remind you that even on special occasions, eating moderate portions instead of stuffing yourself on everything will help keep you on track. Thanksgiving dinner may be 1500 calories, but before I started using MFP it could have easily been 5000 - which is a lot harder to fit into a deficit!
  • MaggieGirl135
    MaggieGirl135 Posts: 978 Member
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    When you’re not feeling stressed or anxious or hungry, take a moment and write out some of the all or nothing thinking that you have. Then, next to each sentence, write a statement that is more accurate and rational. Keep the list and review it when you’re having some all or nothing thinking.
  • Molliepops35
    Molliepops35 Posts: 16 Member
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    Sometimes, an 'all or nothing' attitude comes from a place of expecting perfection - none of us are perfect, we all make mistakes. The good thing is, we can all remedy our mistakes. We don't have to let a bad day become a bad week. Think positively about all you have achieved so far - you can do this!
  • GeauxL
    GeauxL Posts: 57 Member
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    I think a lot of people deal with this “all or nothing” problem; I know I did & still do sometimes. For me in the beginning it was just a matter of “breaking through”, finally just deciding that I’m NOT going to cheat because I knew, at that stage, if I did, it would just put me back into the ol “well I already screwed up so I’ll just start again next week” vicious cycle. Eventually you just have to have that one break through moment where you decide that you aren’t going to let your cravings win. It took a little while before I could do that but I did it & each time I stayed strong, it was a little easier. I’ve lost 100+lbs & at first I was VERY, almost overly, strict but it worked for me. Eventually now that I’m nearing my goal weight, & realized that I need to allow myself some indulgences & re-wire my brain as far as how I categorize food (bad/good). I still have some bad days where I struggle & sometimes my cheat “day” turns into a cheat “weekend” but I’ve learned to, first & foremost, forgive myself & just move on to the next day & get back on track. I still allow myself a free day once a week, I try to plan it around a day that I know I will be doing something out & about(usually a Saturday)-tailgating, party, going eat out, basically anything social. I just make sure I make good choices the rest of the week, I even try to make “smart” choices on my free day, & I usually try to pre-log my next day. That way when I wake up the next morning, it’s all there for me & I just roll back into a routine.

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