BF is trying to GAIN weight - I am trying to LOSE weight

runawayray
runawayray Posts: 9 Member
edited November 28 in Chit-Chat
Not sure how many others might be in my situation, but here it is:

My boyfriend is 6'6" & about 172 lbs & is trying to GAIN WEIGHT while I have been progressively working to LOSE WEIGHT. In the beginning about 1.5 yrs ago, I weighed in at about 189 lbs with a height of 5'6". Being 1 ft shorter than my boyfriend, I couldn't believe I weighed MORE than he did. Now I am down to about 154 lbs with a goal of 140.

You can imagine that when we try to plan dinners & meals how difficult it can be! Oftentimes we have to have a main protein & he will add things like baked potatoes & rice to get carbs/calories/starches/fats etc. Meanwhile, I have to focus more on vegetables & cut out/monitor a lot of carbs/fats. We have figured out a way to make it work but sometimes I think it's almost tempting to steal some of his food :p It can be somewhat "interesting" when we make our grocery list & we have "my" food & he has "his" food that I wish I could eat.

Sometimes I cheat a little bit, but still making progress. He is still struggling to figure out a way to gain weight because no matter how hard he tries, he seems to remain the same! His doctor is always telling him to gain weight & I think he is getting frustrated. I kind of feel bad because he eats enough for 2 or 3 people sometimes while also trying to work out to maintain his muscle & yet, not much for results. Everyone is always saying "oh, it will catch up to him someday!"

Anyone else out there with a similar situation?

Replies

  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    edited August 2018
    Kind of. I have always dated skinny guys that eat a lot of junk food. My ex wanted everything fried. Cookies, chips, and soda were his main food groups. I realized that he would not eat all day, just drink several cups of coffee and then eat junk food at night. When we would grocery shop, we would never agree on what to buy.

    You just have to accept that the two of you will eat differently since you have different goals. If there are foods that are big temptations for you then you can ask him not to eat them in front of you but that's hard if you live together.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    My husband is trying to gain while I lose... he just gets much bigger servings of everything I eat.

    Lunch times his salad has extra dressing, avocado, falafel, cheese, seeds etc.

    And he has full fat dairy
  • THS2HASPASSED
    THS2HASPASSED Posts: 1,055 Member
    I am always trying to gain now. my deal is a tad different. I was morbidly obese at 472lbs so I dieted and swam/walked to lose weight in the beginning. then running and weightlifting but diet was kept strict. I lost all my weight and wanted to ad muscle to help with flappy skin. I had to eat more to do that so I struggled to eat to gain while fearing gaining my weight back... I guess mentally I feared going back to my old self?
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,371 Member
    Same situation but reversed. I am the hard gainer, the SO is trying to lose. He is a foot taller than me also.

    When he was much younger (long before I came along) he was very underweight and developed a junk food habit. He was on the road a lot in isolated areas and crammed his vehicle with fast food, snack cakes, candy. 30 years later he has the same mentality toward eating but wants to lose 40 lbs.

    I eat pescetarian whereas he is an omnivore so I'm always struggling to meet my daily protein goal. I'll snack on a Greek yogurt to bump up my protein, he snacks on a 9 oz bag of M&Ms with half a bag of Oreos. He recently got a treadmill and was shocked at how few calories he burns :D He's also tried tracking calories in the past and was pretty surprised at the calories in things he eats regularly.

    MFP has the option of setting it for gaining weight, maybe your boyfriend would benefit from seeing just how many calories he needs vs what he's consuming?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    He's trying to gain while you're trying to lose ?

    Easy fix....

    Just give him your food..
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    Restricting your 'diet' so much that you cannot eat the same things will be a hassle, hands down. We eat the same things, we adjust portions. You will figure it out.

    And him being a hard gainer, have him read this:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10326769/are-you-a-hard-gainer-please-read/p1
  • runawayray
    runawayray Posts: 9 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    He's trying to gain while you're trying to lose ?

    Easy fix....

    Just give him your food..

    Wow...
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