Debate:

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  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
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    bojack5 wrote: »
    I am paying for the date. I think its nice if my date offers but i will not accept. If a woman is adamant about it its annoying to me. In a relationship there is a little more give and take, but with dating call me sexist, old fashioned, whatever, i am paying.

    If you're as forthright in real life as you are in here @bojack5, I highly doubt any woman would want to cross your traditional settings. If she continues to barrage you, then she's a helmet, and there usually isn't a recourse from there.

    It's actually refreshing that you would insist to pay, no matter how archaic the practice . Dating modernists can get old quickly, with them always having to iron out "I'm on a budget" ( if he's paying) or wanting to order for you to keep everything within his limit ... Remember, from my younger years, I would just pay for it to put a stop to the counting. American men have restored my faith in a mens ability to not quibble over money - it's unattractive.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I did not really do traditional dating but I'll share how I think it should go with that kind of stuff.
    If someone canceled a date by phone before the time of the date but had a reasonable reason, were apologetic and wanted to try again then I suppose I'd give another chance. If they didn't call or show up until long after the date time I'd be less willing to try again.
    I think if both people discuss and agree to a date location/activity then both people should come prepared to pay for themselves these days. I don't think people should ever automatically expect the other person understands that they want to split the costs of the date. It would be best to discuss who is going to pay for what before hand especially if the plans are pricier like a fancy restaurant or concert vs meeting up for a casual coffee or pizza. If you invite someone out and make the date decisions in regards to location/activity then you should expect to pay.

    People who say they are fine when they are not. People do have a right not to discuss things even if you ask. They can say they are fine and you can leave them be. They do not have a right to say they are fine and then get mad that you did not know what was bothering them though. It is not right for a woman or man to expect others to read their minds or expect others to keep asking.

    Selfies... I am a bit anti-selfie. I don't take them. I don't want to see them often. I think you can take as many selfies as you want but the amount you should share on sometging like Facebook should be limited to maybe no more than once a week unless all your Facebook friends are selfie maniacs. If it is your own blog, twitter, instagram or a selfie group then share as the mood strikes you I guess. Don't take selfies that endanger wildlife, yourself or others though.

    If you acknowledge every single other person in a thread but skip one who posted before others you acknowleged then it is rude. If you just don't respond to absolutely everyone in a thread then it is not a big deal.
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
    edited October 2018
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    I would always always always push to treat, I don't care if you want a second date or not...

    I just don't want to feel or look like a cheap *kitten* when you go to pay for yourself... That just feels all kinds of awful to me lol

    I would do the same in a lot of cases if it was just a friend... "I got it" feels great to say it.

    Besides, how can you even expect a second if you don't pay for the first, especially if you asked her
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
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    Too many selfies...

    Depends on the context...

    For women, selfie all you want, it doesn't bother me anyway...

    Guys I think should show restraint, unless you're just posting fun and wacky photos enjoying yourself, then post away... But if you're like "look at me, don't you think I'm pretty" insert cheeky grin lol... Then you should show some restraint... Restraint is sexy right?

    I know it's a double standard blah blah blah but there's my 2
  • _aenyeweddien_
    _aenyeweddien_ Posts: 102 Member
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    mustacheU2Lift wrote: »
    tinkerhellraiser wrote: »
    if u offer to pay and he accepts and u get offended then basically u just set a trap and that means u are prolly the type who will do that all the time saying things like “do u think my sister is pretty?” and then getting mad no matter what the guy says JMO

    True. But I didnt say I got offended. I just said there's something about a man who insists on paying...maybe validating that hes truly into me...but I choose to offer so as to not put expectations on either of us in case one of us is not into it. A trap would be intentionally doing this to see how he responds.

    I totally agree, I am fine with paying my half but I like the old school gentleman type:)
  • BoterhamMetPindakaas
    BoterhamMetPindakaas Posts: 26 Member
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    I'm Dutch and when I was dating the guy always wanted to pay. I'd rather go Dutch so I don't feel like I owe him anything. I can pay for my own food, and I cannot be bought.
  • mustacheU2Lift
    mustacheU2Lift Posts: 5,844 Member
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    TrailRunnerMN82 wrote: »
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    mustacheU2Lift wrote: »
    pudgy1977 wrote: »
    If you are canceling a first date it’d better be over an actually phone call and not a text.

    I love when a date offers to pay, especially for a first date. To me says that they are interested in dating me and not just sleeping with me. That being said I will try to refuse to allow that as I hate feeling like I owe someone.

    Turns out women are impossible

    Oops I'm guilty of canceling through texts...I generally hate getting stuck in a phone conversation.

    Well gals are exempt. We have the goods...we do what we want!

    Ha. You wish.

    I always ask a woman out and I always pay. I don’t even think about it being chivalrous or old fashion or whatever.

    I find out her favorite drink and secretly tell the server to keep ‘em coming. My strategy is to get her so tipsy that I hustle all the money out of her by playing anything from darts to pool. Once I drain her bank roll, I say “Don’t worry. We can go on a second date and I’ll give you the opportunity to win your money back. I’ll pay” (with the money I won from her). Rinse and repeat :tongue:

    :D doing this...

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